love and other disasters
by Labe
Summary: Yazoo left home and tries to start a new life after a fight with Reno and Kadaj. This story is about how hard it is to leave something comfortable, but sad behind and also how surprisingly one can still find what one wants.
1. vanishing part 1

Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII and I don't make any money for this writing.

THANK YOU BMIK for the beta reading, this is more important for me than you might imagine!

Author's note: Thank you for all the wonderful authors who inspires me to move on. Love and Others Disasters is about how difficult is to say goodbye to a sad but comfortable situation. And how surprisingly good it could be in the end... Hope you like it and if it's possible drop me a few line about what you're thinking about.

Ps: English is not my mother language...

Vanishing - part 1

The cape barely cover his head from the thin rain of autum.

He entered in the cabin, thankful for the warmth inside and inserted the card phone.

After a third bip, a dull voice spoke.

" Where the fuck are you? Stop this shit and come back home!"

"I won't come back, now pass the phone for my brother! I can hear his cries!"

" Just tell me where are you Yazoo...I've been looking for you ..."

"Don't you dare hunt me like an animal, Reno. Let me talk with Kadaj please? Y-you don't have the right to push me away from him!"

"And you to leave us! Fuck, baby! We need you...I need you Yazoo, baby, please, where are you?"

" You do need me, but you didn't think of me. Both of you!"

Yazoo's voice was getting faint. He was dueling againt his own fears.

Reno was trying to get time. He was dueling against his extremely anxiety.

" Baby you're over reacting at all this shit! Be reasonable and you'll see! Yazoo, I need you here by my side!"

"I never heard you say 'I love you', only 'I need you'. I can't come back, Reno. I don't have much money left, please put Kadaj on line."

"If I say I love you from now on to forever, would you come back?"

" No, cause it would be fake. Let me talk with Kadaj or I'll disconnect."

Yazoo heard a battle for the phone. But finally Kadaj tugged the phone from Reno's hand. The silver hair boy was sobbing inconsolable, with a hoarse voice, almost incomprehensible...

"Yaz...Yaz please come, I can't live here w-whitout you! B-brother, oh please don't hate me! Im sorry, Im so sorry!"

"Hush Kadaj. I don't hate you. But I have to stay alone now."

"I-I' d never want hurt you! I won't stand live away from you! Come back Yazoo, fives days had passed! I'll never, never do it again! I promise! I-I'll move back to Cloud's house! "

The loud sobs made Yazoo squirmed in the small cabine, turning his face to the train station. He saw two black cars parking on the other side of the avenue.

"Kadaj, stop crying and listen to me. I won't come back and I don't know when I can call again. Tell Loz that I love him... and be good for him. Have patience with Reno. Cloud can help you if you need. Goodbye Kadaj."

" Yazoo? YAZOO!"

With much more sobs and wails full of sadness and regret, Kadaj threw away the phone and sank on the couch, muffling the hard cries with his little hands. Those green orbs were red and bulge and Kadaj was shaking with his cries.

Reno was on his phone, pacing from one side to another, furious, nervous. Those narrow blue eyes had a death glow and Kadaj felt a bit scared to be there, alone with the man on that bad mood.

" He-he, he won't come! It's my fault Reno! Oh God! Who is gonna take care of me?! Y-Ya- Yazoo didn't say he love me when he disconnected...OH GOD!"

Reno not even tried to comfort the boy. He groaned something, still on the phone and slammed the door not telling Kadaj where he was going. The boy whimpered curling himself like a ball on the couch.

Yazoo left the cabin and rush entered into the first train that stopped, mixing his so unusual figure with the others passengers.

He didn't bother to check where the train was going. He just whished to vanish and perhaps, starts a new life.


	2. vanishing part 2

Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII and I don't make any money for this writing.

THANK YOU BMIK for beta reading this fic !!!

Author's note: Thank you for all the wonderful authors who inspires me to move on. Love and Others Disasters is about how difficult is to say goodbuye to a sad but comfortable situation. And how surprisingly good it could be in the end... Hope you like it and if it's possible drop me a few line about what you're thinking.

Ps: English is not my mother language.

Vanishing - part 2

The train stopped at Junon.

_" Too near from Midgar, too near from Reno."_

It was a cold and rainy night. Yazoo crossed his arms around his chest, in a vain attempt to keep himself a bit more warm.

Unwittingly, he overheard a dialogue between two old ladies, who were sitting next to him in the train. They talked over a boat to Costa Del Sol and a far away city named Gongaga.

_" Far sounds good to me..."_

He followed the few passengers through the gate's exit, and imitating the women from earlier before, he bought one ticket for the ferry boat. He was aware that he would cross the sea, but with no bike or any other kind of land transport available....

Yazoo had an unknown fear of the water. Seas, lakes, river, even an innocent pool, all these places wasn't exactly enjoyable for the boy.

Though now, he feared most, be dragged to home by his weakness to be alone.

He never was alone. Since the beginning he started as one being, separated by three complimented parts: the power, the strengh and the allure. Kadaj, Loz and himself. As soon as they had been rejected by life stream, and their life, properly began, they were always close to each other. All the safety that he had in his short life was provided by the nearness of his brothers and then by Reno. But now, he had nothing. He was by himself.

Loz, surprisingly, became rather independent to adjust himself to a regular life with a job and then his own place. The elder brother was working and living at the 7th heaven with Cloud and Tifa. Kadaj went to school. And Yazoo, ironically became the Mother for them...Not the powerful supposed queen of the planet, but a simple one, taking care of Kadaj, Loz and Reno, while he wondered himself what do with his life. He took some missions for Shinra, sponsored by Reno. Bad or god guys, shoot and kill people definitly wasn't a job that Yazoo wanted to keep for him. Surely he had done in the past, but he had had a motivation, a reason beyond his will. He doesn't feel like it now. And then, one day after another fight with Reno, Yazoo realized that he was a housewife...lost in the paradise.

_" I had to leave. Before I'll be forced to. They are angry and sad now, later, they'll thank me."_

When Yazoo finally found a safe place in the inwards of the boat, he reached for the odd orange piece of cloth and he cursed himself. In his hurry to leave home before Reno come back from work, he forgot Velvet Nightmare.

_" Good…Alone, no route and unarmed…humpf …"_

Yazoo analyzed the place around. A few people were travelling at that hour of the night. The two oldies, sat next to him, two rows ahead and unable to sleep cause the ship's movements, Yazoo had to listen the ladies talk till they, finally, fell asleep.

The first sun rays was pointing in the sky when the ferry boat anchored in the port.

_"No rain. Good."_

Yazoo was curled, lost in thoughts about how and where get a shelter, gils, a weapon, when he was surprised by the approach of the two oldie ladies, cagey like cats.

He narrowed his green eyes and suspiciously glanced around to check a possible trap from Reno.

But no. It was the first gesture of kindness he received from strangers.

One of the ladies, extended his wrinkled and white hand and gave him a paper bag.

Yazoo just blinked facing the woman.

" Excuse me young man, would you help us? We made more sandwiches than we can have. We were greedy…And we noticed that you hadn't dined yesterday…"

Carefully and still suspicious Yazoo got the bag and openned it. Inside, a very well packed sandwich and one apple. He wasn't hungry. He was starving. He doesn't even remembered the last time he had a decent meal. With a faint smile he nooded his gratefulness for the women and began to eat.

" Are you understanding us?"

Again the fear to be in a trap, made Yazoo nooded his head and narrow his eyes. The oldies whispered to each other, but Yazoo's enhanced hearing, allowed him to listen. They thought he was foreigner or mute and surely a poor orphan.

Indeed, Yazoo's slender body, wearing a pair of black jeans, old boots and a very threadbare coat was giving an impression of a lost boy. Frail and young, even he wasn't.

The ladies had a rather pious look and Yazoo didn't feel danger from them. The older one, with large brown glasses spoke to him, in a lower and quiet voice, tipical from old people.

"Don't be afraid from us. We are missionairs from the Holy Mary Church in Junon. We work for the poor ones, whom lost their house and belongings at the last cataclism. We are going to Gongaga town. To help in a orphanage. If do you want to join us on the trip, you're welcome. You don't have to worry, we won't put you in the orphanage. I'm sorry kid, but…you look like someone who needs a hand."

_"Cataclism? I was a part of the cataclism. How much time till these sweeties notice that I 'm one of the remnants and maybe exorcize me? Better be alone… Otherwise…It would be a good way to despite Reno, and a to get a shelter and time to think…"_

Yazoo stood up from his chair and nooded to the ladies.

"Good. I'm Ana and she is Wilma."

Yazoo took advantage in the fact that the women thought that he was mute, and taking a pen from his backpack and wrote his name in the paper bag.  
Talk was the last thing he wanted on a long trip.

_" I can take the ride and once there, I'll see what I'll do."_

They travelled in silence all the day, and it was night when they entered in the last transportation. First they took a train to Nibelheim, then a very old bus to a place named Cosmo Canion. Yazoo never had seen a place as unusual as that city made of rock and ruins. There they took another train, who was even more worn out than the bus.

He was tired. When he finaly lost the battle against the necessity to rest, he closed his eyes and slept deeply for half and hour or so.

Suddenly a rough trembling shook the train, followed by a loud noise of something breaking, waking the boy. Yazoo's heart pumped heavy and faster with what he saw.

A huge fire ball carrying a pile of contorted iron, sits and people came on Yazoo's direction.

The ladies weren't in front of him. _" My God..they are dead!"_

With this only thought, Yazoo just had time enough to jump through the wagon's window besides him, without see where he would fall.

_" I'll die alone."_

A hard soil was felt by him, seconds after he had jumped. Before pass out, Yazoo eyes followed the flaming wagon falling into a dark abyss.


	3. vanishing part 3 end

Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII and I don't make any money for this writing. Betaed chapter by the amazing writer BMIK- THANK YOU!!!!- this is a honnour...

Vanishing - end part

When Yazoo opened his eyes, the scent of burned flesh, oil and blood filled up his nose, making him puke. He fell at a stoned plateau.

The dull ache on his chest and legs didn't let Yazoo raise his body, but he was relieved.

He wasn't dead, only wounded., but that rather toroughly. He broke some ribs and he was breathing with a considerable difficulties. But he was alive and now he would need to wait till the Jenova's legacy starts the healing process.

Sorrow for the loss of his ladies, dead by now, fused with the missing of his brothers and the trouble of his situation made Yazoo suppress a whimper. Loz cried, not he. Without anything to do, Yazoo closed his eyes and waited.

A loud roar, surely not human made Yazoo shake with fear. A flyer lizard, the cause of the disaster.

The monster was feasting on the corpses and and probably wouldn´t take long, the beast would smell an alive prey full of energy...

Yazoo battled against the pains and silently, he dragged himself to a cleft inside the stone he had fallen onto.

The passage was narrow, but big enough for him to fit in, lying. It was like a cocoon, but much deeper than he´d thought. Yazoo squeezed himself to the botton of the stone and slowed down even his breathing

The hole was hidden of the lizard's sight, but not unfortunately not of its powerful nostrils.

The beast followed the scent of flesh and mako energy, flying to hunt his new appetizer.

When the lizard landed on the plateau, some rocks fell and nearly crashed on top of Yazoo.

Horrified, Yazoo saw the lizard's claws digging into the crack, trying to capture him.

He had no space to move inwards, and desperately he fumbled feet and hands to find a possible exit, another gap, something, anything! The beast's weight was shaking the stone and more rocks fell onto the boy. In despair he saw his coat be torn into shreds by one of the beast's nails.

Air. Yazoo turned onto his stomack and a cold air blew on Yazoo's hopelesness face and he saw, covered with land, dried leaves and small rocks another crack.

He quickly starts to attacked it with heavy punches, in an attempt to open a hole and hide himself.

A hollow, that had been hidden by the mud and small stones, opened and Yazoo slided inside it. And he didn't stop to slide.

The passage was a kind of tunnel, as a toboggan run made of glazed stone, wich burned his back and buttocks with the faster and roughly descent.

Again he was lost in darkness without know where he'd fall.

A dim light started to grown on Yazoo's sight. The end of the tunnel.

Dark. Cold. No air. Fear. Despair...Water.

Yazoo splashed in a lake and struggled to surface his massacred body.

When he did, he deep breathed and realized that he was...swimming. He didn't know he could do that sort of thing, since he never had tried before.

The lake was a kind of mineral pool inside a cavern surrounded by stones tainted with a strange blue-green light.

The thought of that place be the home of another type of monster, made Yazoo totally forget his panic of water and, swim straight and fast for the shore.

Heavily breathing and panting, the boy reached the waterside and fell on the black sand of the soil.

He was dead-beat of the effort to swim, wounded from the train disaster and the tunnel's drop.

For a moment, Yazoo forgot completely that he could, indeed, still be a prey and cried out, full of sadness, anger and pain.

He wasn't a cry baby, this was Loz's talent, but feeling beaten up by all the sad and unexpected happenings, alone and lost, Yazoo cried without care if his sobs and tears would awake a new beast or another threat.

_ "I'm a failure, a total failure in everything. I failed as a remnant, as a brother, as a lover..."_

The intense of his anxiety was so big, that he stand up, falling down on the sand again, causing more pain to the wounded leg._  
_

"THIS IS A FUCKING PUNISHMENT ? IT'S BECAUSE YOUR FUCKING PLAIN TO BE THE OWNER OF THIS FUCKING PLANET DIDN'T WORK? WHAT ELSE? I'M NOT THE CHOSEN ONE! LET ME LIVE MY LIFE! YOUR CHOSEN ONE, NOW IS HAVING FUN! HE'S GIVING A SHIT FOR YOU! FOR ALL OF US! I DON'T DESERVE THIS SHIT! I'M A BEING! I'm a being...I deserve a chance....a life...love...NOT THESE FUCKING DISASTERS!"

After a while, only the noise of drops of water and his own sobs, assured Yazoo he was alone there.

_"What a stupid attitude from me...at least I can swim. God...I'm loosing my reason..I', yealling to a ghost, that I thought it was my mother and that I know it's a plague... and I not even believe at it! "_

Yazoo recovered his usual cool demeanour and sitting, leaned to a stone wall, he examined the local to sense the presence of some form of life. Fishes. Only fishes and some larvs. Nothing more.

_ "Safe"._ He tried to stand up but his limbs didn't cooperate and laying on the sand, he waited. His back was burning and he had scratches on his arms.

He had to rest to heal at least his legs and then, later, get out of the cave.


	4. Watching

Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII and I don't make any money with this writing.

Author's note: This chapter was betaed by the amazing writer BMIK. THANK YOU DEAR!

Chapter 4- Watching

Yazoo walked in alert through the alleys of the cavern, guiding his steps by the increase of light. One time he was deceived by the walls odd brightness, but without further trouble he reached the exit.

He found himself at a forest, though where he had no idea. They had been close to the Gongaga Town at the time of the crash, and perhaps he could find the city or survivors and help.

The caverns lake flew in a thin stream that ran through the stoned ground to the east.

He followed the water course till it became a larger river, the sound of water rolling over the rocks filling his ears and making him keep a safe distance.

_"I can swim, but no more water plays..."_

The trees of the place were huge and the woods had a grey tone, very polished.

It was a wild and seeming untouched place, no human traces could be seen. No houses and no garbage, not even a path.

The sun was crawling higher in the sky and the heat and humidity of the air was very uncomfortable.

Yazoo went to a particularly large tree and sat down on the leafy ground_. "I just need a minute."_

His limbs, head and eyes seemed to weigh as much as iron and not being able to resist the urge to sleep, he curled himself into a ball, laying on the soft grass.

He dreamed of Kadaj , Reno, and Loz. They were in an arena, they fought and Yazoo won a doll. When he took the doll from Reno's hand, he saw that the toy was a small version of himself. Kadaj, now looking like a five year old child, asked for the doll and Yazoo gave it to him. Kadaj crashed the doll's head and Yazoo slapped the boy.

A misty shadow passed over him and perched itself on one of the branches, watching the slender figure sleeping beneath. It didnt make a sound, but slowly Yazoo's eyes unwilling opened. Someone or something was here, but he was too tired to fight back, so

Yazoo closed his eyes again and drifted back into a deep slumber. He was in a kind of trance and couldn't have moved one finger if hed wanted to.

The creature observing the boy, tilted its shadow-head and, noticing that the boy had passed out, it got closer. The misty fog circled the young man and deciding that he was not a threat, it flew to a safe distance in the woods and remained there.

After a couple of hours, Yazoo woke up, mind still dizzy and limbs heavy, though now he at least could move and walk So he continued his journey through the forest till he finally came to a clearing with a natural bifurcation, drawn by a swamp.

One of it was clean and easy, the other one was covered with a tangle of plants, flowers and twigs as if its was placed there deliberately, like a wall, but the track was still visible.

Yazoo considered which one of the paths should be followed and finally decided for the tangle. His instincts somehow told him to not choose the easy one.

Funnily enough, all the recent adventures with the train disaster, the flyer lizard and the lake reminded Yazoo what he really was: a survivor. A warrior out of shape maybe, but Yazoo was feeling that he got strong again. The unprotected and unsure boy still remained on his soul, but not on his mind.

Carefully, Yazoo removed the twigs and plants of the way and was surprised when he found a garden.

Not a well cared for one, but one looking so wild and untouched as the forest itself. The trail led to a hovel, which seemed to be abandoned since many years. Some fruit trees flanked the way and Yazoo reached up for an apple, cleaning it with his dirty shirt and then shaking his head for the senselessness of the action.

_ I'll wait here to see if someone appears._

It was getting dark and as the silence overruled the place, Yazoo moved to get closer to the house.

It was abandoned. Old and dusty, the discolored woods had cracks on the porch. Some parts of the windows glass were broken. The door was closed but unlocked.

Yazoo glanced around and assuring that he was alone, he opened the door.

The first step made the wood creak under his foot. Inside there was a kitchen, connected with the living room, which had something like a fireplace that Yazoo had never seen before. Furthermore there was a table with four chairs and a shabby couch.. The floor was full with dust and some leafs that the wind had blown through the destroyed window. A small corridor with two doors opposite each other he also found.

Yazoo closed the main door and walked around the house, to reach the window of the closed rooms. Perhaps, someone would be there and he had to be sure that he could spend the night in this shelter. After all the walking he needed to rest, by now he was so tired, that his body was shaking every now and then and a strange sensation was burning his stomach.

The surroundings of the house were empty too. No one. Nothing. The dusty glass showed two rooms with beds, unused since some time. But the sheets and pillows were still there.

Yazoo grimaced at the dirty place, but he climbed through the window nonetheless to get inside the room.

He found a bathroom and tested the water. _ "Working!"_

Yazoo noted a dresser in the corner of the room. Clothes. Clean but smelling molded.

_ "Suffice till I clean mine."_

Not bothering with the coldness of the air nor the freezing water, Yazoo undressed and entered the small shower. He hadnt had a descent bath in two days. Not that this one was descent, far from it, but the sensation of feeling clean, made him more relaxed.

Bathed and dressed Yazoo shook the sheets to take out some of the dust and threw himself on the bed with a sigh_. "What will I do tomorrow?"_


	5. A shelter

Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII and I don't make any money with this writing.

Author's note: This chapter was betaed by the amazing writer BMIK. THANK YOU DEAR!

Chapter 5 - A shelter

In the morning, when Yazoo awakened, the feeling he'd had in the forest, that he was being watched, returned. In a defensive manner, and grabbing the knife he had taken from the kitchen the night before, he stood up in alert.

Nothing inside the room. Yazoo silently slipped to the door and opening it he was accertained that he was the only one in the house.

Everything seemed the same. The door in front closed, the chairs, the couch, the kitchen's sink with a pile of apples. _ "A PILE OF APPLES?"_

Yazoo quickly and silently closed the door, trying to make a minium of noise, and opened the window to get out of the house. He wouldn't dare to go through the living room to be caught by whoever was here.

Suddenly a strong wind came through the window and he felt being grasped by the hair.

Yazoo tightened his grip on the knife and raising his hand in the air he struck without seeing at whom or what and where.

Astonished,Yazoo noticed an invisible hand in the air, catching the knife he was holding. The same invisible strong hand then pinned him to the next wall and grabbed his throat, squeezing hard. Cold metal was felt by Yazoo and just like magic, his agressor became visible.

He was faced with a raven haired man, wearing a red cape and even redder, furious eyes. The man had a huge metal claw, ready to open a hole in Yazoo's neck.

If it hadn't been for the lack of air, Yazoo would have screamed in terror. The man stared at him with those demon eyes and he was so close that Yazoo could smell his breath, a sweet scent of apples.

"What are you doing in my house?"

The grave and dry voice of the man sent shivers down Yazoo's spine and summoning his strenght the boy tried to answer. His eyes were huge and he was beginning to feel dizzy from the choking.

"I'm Y-Yazoo....I... w-won't hurt... you."

The red eyed man loosened the hand on the boys throat, replying slightly sarcastically.

"You certainly won't...What are you doing here?"

"L- lost...train disast..er.."

The man released Yazoo and the boy fell down on the floor, coughing and panting, bending over the armored feet.

"You're one of the boys, Sephiroth's clone..."

"I'm Yazoo. Not a clone."

If there was something that Yazoo really hated nowadays, it was to be compared to a clone.

He thought, felt, and acted as an individual person, not a clone! He may have started as one but he was no more. Definitely!

The man noticed the offended, angry tone of Yazoo's voice and helped the boy to get up, surprising Yazoo, who shirked from the touch.

_"He doesn't threaten me but where are the others?"_

"Hush. I'm Vincent Valentine."

The name. Yazoo had heard this name before, but he couldn't remember if it was in his past life or the new life. He focused his eyes on the handsome man's face and shook his head.

"Where are your brothers?"

"I-I'm alone."

"You aren't used to walking around by yourself, I see. Especially so far way from Midgar."

"Yazoo didn't know if he should talk to this man, or run for the door. He was there, standing in front of him, clearly not fearing Yazoo and staring at him as if he would rip out Yazoos gut's at every second. His throat was still aching from the mans grip at his scalp.

One thing was for sure though, if Vincent Valentine had wanted Yazoo dead, he would have been hours ago.

Vincent didn't move from his spot, almost pressing the scared young man against the wall.

Yazoo sustained the look and, not breaking the eye contact, he noticed the red eyes didn't carry that furious flame they had before.

"I was going to Gongaga with two old ladies, who invited me to go with them. The train we were at was attacked by a flying lizard... The same dragon tried to kill me and I fell into a cavern with a lake. The exit was this forest and I found this house, your house, but I thought it was empty and I stopped here for a rest. I'm not a thief or an invader. I'm sorry and Im leaving now."

While talking, Yazoo felt an odd sensation, a constricting pain in his chest. He ended his excuses to the man, gasping for air." _ I'm worried, thats all. Breathe Yazoo, deep breaths."_

" What are you going to do in Gongaga? And where are your brothers?"

"I- I will live there. My brothers stayed in Midgar. I'm alone. Where am I now?"

"Forest Fog. Gongaga is not far from here."

They kept staring at each other and the silence and the glares were becoming uncomfortable for Yazoo. He wanted to sleep, to curl in a ball and stay quiet for some days. He didn't really intend to walk hours or maybe days through the forest to arrive in a strange town.

In fact, Yazoo was feeling terrible tired and too weak to walk or fight. While he was standing there, he felt that his limbs would give in any time.

A strange feeling of heat and cold was burning his cheeks at the same time. Small drops of sweat started to appear on Yazoo's forehead.

"I'll leave now and I won't dist...disturb... you...a-any-"

A dry coughing interrupted Yazoo's sentence and became more intense. Vincent stepped back, suspiciously watching the boy. Yazoo's breath was shorter and he teared at his chest as if something was squeezing it.

Vincent reached out to catch the boy before he could fall on the floor again.

"No, please...I don't want to...die..."

Yazoo collapsed in Vincent's arms. Quickly, Vincent felt the pulse of the boy and, lifting the his shirt, he look for any wounds and found one.

Yazoo's back had an infected scratch, probably caused by the lizards claws. The boy was poisoned and judging from the pale blue tone of his skin, the poison was already in his heart.


	6. Poisoned

Disclaimer: I don't own nothing of FFVII world and I don't make any money with this writhings.

Author's note: Thank you to BMIK for the beating and for the lovely support- you're awesome dear!!

Chapter 6- Poisoned

Yazoo's green eyes opened to see a strong and bright light. It was a lovely purple. Immediately he felt that he liked that color. He tried to touch the light with his dainty fingers, but his body was so heavy.

So numb_. _

" _Now I died, I'm in the life stream…Oh brothers, I'm so sorry…"_

Yazoo tilted his head -slowly as it seemed weight a ton- to follow another light with his eyes. This one was a bright white. He felt a warm hand on his forehead.

" An angel came to rescue me…how good…"

He touched the angel's face, smooth and so shiny, he felt the contours of the exquisite face with his hand, though he couldn't see more because of the light.

" Thank you, angel…thank you for rescuing me. I'm safe…"

All the ethereal and good sensations suddenly vanished though, to be replaced by a sharp pain in his chest. Yazoo opened his mouth to cry out, but no sound escaped; he squeezed his eyes shut and arched his body.

But as quickly as the pain had come it started faded away. A voice, grave and clear told him to sleep and to not worry, he would be fine soon.

"Don't leave me alone, angel…please…I'm scared."

"I'll watch you."

The sound of birds woke Yazoo. Opening his bleary eyes he found himself on a bed, his chest bandaged with white stripes and he was…in his boxers, covered with heavy blankets.

Everything was clean, the sheets and everything else around. The bedside table on his left has some fruits, water and a note. Yazoo painfully raised his upper body to take and read it.

" _You've been poisoned and I had to use materia cure on you. Don't get up fast or you'll faint, don't turn off the bandages or you'll bleed to death. And stay on bed. Eat the fruits and drink the water. I'll be back soon. Clean clothes are in the dresser. _

_If you try anything stupid, your heart may not take, so be careful. Try to sleep._

_Vincent "_

Yazoo sat on the bed, carefully and indeed, he felt qualm and nausea. He tried to run for the bathroom but his whole body hurt and his chest was burning. He finally reached the sink and threw up.

Materia cure was obviously very effective, but the collateral effects were unpleasant in the same intensity.

Feeling a little better, Yazoo looked at his face in the small bathroom mirror right above the sink. He was lean and gaunt, pale, dark circles around the eyes. This is was not the first time his life had been in danger, but certainly it was the worst.

Slowly pacing and with his chest still burning, he dressed himself and went to the bed.

While he was taking the clothes from the dresser he noticed his old ones in shreds piled up in a corner.

" _Maybe I can trust him....He could have left me in the forest, to die alone…but instead he saved me."_

When Vincent came back, it was night and Yazoo had eaten the fruits, drank the water and was sound asleep. Vincent reached for a chair, sat beside the bed and there he stayed till the boy opened his eyes.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better, but my chest still burns. How…long have I been here? I can't remember much…"

"Two days. I have to apply it again. It hurts but you'll get better sooner."

"Thank you sir. I don't know how to pay back you."

"Don´t worry about that now. I'm sorry if I scared you. I'm not used to...guests."

"Especially a poisoned one?"

"Yes, I guess so. Ready?"

Yazoo nodded and gave the man a faint smile. But even smiling was painful.

Vincent opened a small box, that he took from his cape and a yellow cure materia of the size of a button shone in his gauntled hand. Yazoo's eyes got wide open and afraid but trying not to show his fear, he nodded towards his rescuer again, signalin that he was ready.

Vincent gently put his hand on the boy's chest, pushing him to lie on the bed and with the gauntlet arm he positioned the small ball in the center of Yazoo's sternum.

Yazoo grabbed the blanket, squeezing it to not shout out at the pain that pierced his body. The cure burned and hurt so much!

Vincent noticed the young man's efforts and unconciously he took Yazoo's hand in his own. Yazoo held Vincent's hand tight and not being able to resist the pain anymore he cried out, tears rolling down his cheeks.

At least it was fast. Minutes later he was sleeping and Vincent closed the door and went for the living room. He flipped his phone open and dialed a number.

"He's ok now... out of the woods…. No. Don't worry, I 'll take care of him and I believe till next week he won't be able to leave….. I'll do as you ask."

Vincent disconnected and sat down on the table, his thoughts wandering back to the silver haired boy who was sleeping in his bed. The boy would probably ask him later why he was doing this for someone who had invaded his house. And Vincent would need to tell him something and at the same time conduct the secret request of his friend.

But even if this hadn´t been the case, he would have saved Yazoo. He didn´t know why, but he found that he couldn't harm Yazoo. Perhaps it was because of the similarity to Sephiroth, maybe his fragility. After years of wandering the world, alone and watching not only mankind but all the beings of the planet, Vincent knew when someone or something was evil. And Yazoo's essence didn't show this to Vincent, on the contrary. He felt strenght, the ability to defend himself and ven to kill if necessay, but not the evil madness that Sephiroth had carried.

Vincent stood up and went for the bed room. He´d spend the night beside Yazoo's bed, he decided.

Soon the materia's collateral effects would start and since he didn´t exactly know when, Vincent didn´t want to leave the boy alone.


	7. Comfort

Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII and I don't make any money with this writing.

Auhtors note: Tons of thanks to the awe writer BMIK, for the betaing and for the support- without you it wouldn't be possible!

Chapter 7- Comfort

Fifteen days had passed since Yazoo had found the hovel and Vincent Valentine. Or rather, Mr Valentine as he was calling the raven haired man.

A tiny scar on his back and a still red spot in the center of his chest was proof of how bad he had been. It still hurt and some movements, like walking or staying up for a long time, were hard to do. Though Vincent brought food for them, Yazoo hadn't much of an appetite; he forced himself to eat but minutes later he was puking in the bathroom.

Yazoo was so pale and had lost so much weight, that he was even avoiding to look at his face in the bath room mirror.

Later Vincent had told him, that it had been a matter of minutes, or he wouldn't have been able to withstand the poison and death would have been certain. Surprised to receive such good care from a stranger, Yazoo only thanked the man, not talking too much. He wanted to ask why he was being so kind, but the experience with the old ladies told him there were still good people around. He wondered if he was blessed or cursed. He was safe for now, but lost in the hands of a stranger. He wanted to talk with his brothers, especially Kadaj, but he didn't know what to say. He wanted Reno, but not to go back either

When he was in a particularly bad mood one morning, Vincent knocked on the door and entered the room, wearing a different attire than his usual, shabby red cape. He was dressed in black leather like a rider, his hair was combed and locked in a pony tail. Yazood never say how all the time he thought about Mr Valentines beauty, just shook his head and feeling embarassed. And the man was quite a vision this morning...

"Why are you scared? I live here did you forget? I' ll have a friend here today."

Yazoo sat on the bed and if he hadn't been too weak to travel, he would't be here with that mostly harsh and taciturn man, anyway_." He has a date! Thats why he is well dressed and smelling good."_

"I can move to somewhere else."

"I didn't mean it like that. You can stay here at your room,Yazoo."

_"My room? Since when" _

And then at other times, Vincent was so protective and careful. Vincent was a mystery to Yazoo and the bad thing for the boy was that sometimes, Yazoo felt like he himself wasn't a puzzle to Vincent at all. It was as if Mr Valentine could see what Yazoo was thinking, when he stared at him with those red, flaming eyes. And this was very strange for someone known as very talented when it came to hiding his emotions like Yazoo was.

"I dont want to bother you."

"You aren't and besides, you do know him already."

A thightness in his heart made Yazoo straighten up from his position on the bed.

"Excuse me?"

"Cloud Strife."

"What?"

Yazoo stood up in shock, ready to protest, but his limbs betrayed him and he fell into Vincent's arms. Again. Vincent glared at him, hissing about how stubborn the boy was, holding Yazoo by his slender hips to support his weight and carefully sitting him back on the bed.

More ashamed than ever, Yazoo felt his cheeks burn as he was raised by the man as if he was nothing but a light package. Vincent sat on the edge of the bed, keeping a respectful distance from Yazoo.

"I wont go back to Midgar. Im going to Gongaga." Yazoo's breath was short and he crossed his arms over his chest, causing a worried look from Vincent.

"Sure. When you are able to walk. Cloud is not coming to get you."

"Did you tell him that I was here? Why?"

"You're a remnant, who was dying in my house. From where do you thing I got the healing materia?"

They stared at each other. Yazoo wanted to tell him all about his life, his disillusionment with Reno and Kadaj, how he still missed them both and Loz too, and how lost he felt. Everything. But his fear to get hurt and stumble into an ambush stopped him.

"I only want to start a new life. Without people judging me as a clone, or remnant or evil. I'm not ungrateful, though I must leave your house now. Thank you for everything. I promise, I'll return what you did for me."

"Stay here and meet Cloud."

"Why are you keeping me here? What interest can you possibly have in help me?"

"First, I am not keeping you, second Cloud asked me to help you. Third, even if he hadn't asked, I wouldn't have let you die inside my house. I don't want trouble either with your brothers nor Shinra's turks."

"Why did you say that? Who else is coming ?"

Yazoo's lips got slightly pale and he tightened the hand on his chest. Vincent got closer and with his gauntled arm, he touched the boys hand, making Yazoo twitched in surprise. Noticing the boy's discomfort, Vincent softened his voice and dropped the hand off of Yazoo.

"Even if you don't want to be a Sephiroth's remnant, you are one for those who fought against your old goals. You're saver here than outside, but the choice is yours. Don't worry Yazoo, Cloud really wants to help you. And I won't tell anyone that you are here because I have nothing to do with your business. Relax boy."

Vincent stood up from the bed, walked to the door and left the room, while Yazoo curled up in a fetal position and thought over his situation.

_"How, in the name of Gaia, have I ended up in the house of a man, who is Clouds friend?_

_He saved me. He is helping me and I really can't do nothing about it, because I'm sick._

_My body, my mind, my soul. Sweet ShivaI never was so screwed as I am now...I have to put the pride in my pocket...and swallow its."_

The knocks on the door made Yazoo come back to reality and with a mix of relief and mistrust he saw the spikey haired blond come in alone and pulling a chair beside his bed.

They greeted each other with a nod and Yazoo sat on the bed, anxiously twisting his fingers under the blanket.

It was quite funny to watch a dialogue between two men of few words. Cloud was a straight to the point person as was Yazoo and with no further ado, Cloud made his entrance.

Loz still was living and working at 7th Heaven and Kadaj was staying most of the time there instead of at home with Reno. They were fine but very worried about Yazoo's lack of calls.

Yazoo listened to Cloud with his eyes cast downwards but from time to time he glanced up at the blond, biting his lower lip.

"Don't worry Yazoo. I came to help you. Kadaj told Tifa and she told me that you had left to who knows where. Then Vincent came to ask help for a boy he suspected be one of the brothers...my brothers."

Cloud was still getting used to the idea of brotherhood with Loz, Kadaj and Yazoo. Though since the boys had returned from Lifestream he had taken them in and promised, that no one would hurt them. Why? Cloud really didn't know, but he felt in his core that it was the right thing to do. Perhaps they really were connected by the Jenova's cells, or it was just the guilt he felt towards Aerith, Sephiroth, Zack...The blond guy had a pretty long list.

"I won't stay for long and soon I'll move again, Cloud. When I have settled things, I'll give them notice."

"Yazoo, listen to me. Please. I won't tell them where you are if you don't want me to."

Cloud lifted from his side a heavy duffel bag and took a phone out of it.

"I just ask you to call us at least once a week. Your brothers need to know you're fine. I'm not judging your motives to leave, but they need this from you. Tifa sent this bag with clothes, some personal things and a few gils."

"I- I can't."

Cloud narrowed his eyes and lowerd his head. He really wasn't in the mood to deal with an emotional crisis. It was more than embarassing, listening to Kadajs minutely explainations, why Yazoo got away from home. He wasn't a conservative person or homophobic, he only had another, very different point of view about family. He never had been happy to see Yazoo and Kadaj living with Reno and when Loz asked or rather: begged- to live at the bar, he agreed.

Though, he became more wary about that little family. He was one of the chosen to take care of the boys, after their rejection from the life stream. So was Reno, who had another, less fraternal, way of dealing with the boys...When Cloud heard that Yazoo had left Reno, he, in a way, had been relieved. Now, his next step was to bring Kadaj to live with him and Tifa.

"You were lucky to survive a train disaster, a flying lizards poison and Vincent Valentine thinking you're a thief. Don't abuse of your good luck. And your body. This poison, even with the powerful materia cure, still runs on your blood stream. Your heart will be damaged at least for one month. Take your time, rest till you feel better to move. And give them notice as soon as you can, please and you can stay here as long as you want. Vincent doesn't mind in any way."

Silently, Cloud extended the phone to Yazoo. The boy took it and placed it on the bedside table. They remained silent for a minute or so, Yazoo wondering about his old home and Cloud wondering if Yazoo would accept his offer.

"Cloud, who is Mr Vincent Valentine?'

Cloud frowned at the question. Vincent wasn't exactly a lord of warmness and good manners, surely he had scared even a cold, dangerous Yazoo.

"A good man with a sad and tortured past. Hes my best friend and you can trust him, Yazoo."

The silver hair boy took the phone from the table and turned it on, the funny electronic music cutting through the silence of the room.

"Ok. I'll do as you say Cloud. Though, I'm free to leave any time I want to."

"Thank you Yazoo."

Having said that, Cloud stood up from the chair and nodded towards Yazoo, pressing the boys hand. Cloud was near the door, Yazoo took a deep breath and summoning all his strength he asked what he was mad to know. Reno. He needed to know how Reno was dealing with his absence, what was happening in Midgar.

"He's frequently at the bar. But I don't know more than this. We aren't really close..."

"Is he drinking too much?"

'Well, I never saw him in any other mood but drunk."

Cloud opened the door but waited. He knew Yazoo wanted to ask another question, but hed never push it.

"Cloud? Are Kadaj and Renoliving together?"

"Kadaj still lives there. Hes very rueful."

Yazoos throat tightened and he turned his head to the window, answering with a faint thank you for Cloud's honest reply. The spikey haired blond lowered his head; he didn't want to see the hurt on Yazoo's eyes.

"Yazoo...Count on me, Tifa and Vincent for anyhting you need."

Cloud closed the door, and as soon he left the room, Yazoo covered himself with the blanket, pulling it over his scalp.


	8. Yazoo Whimpers

Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII and I don't make any money with this writing.

Auhtors note: Tons of thanks to the awe writer BMIK, for the betaing and for all the support- without you it wouldn't be possible!

Chapter 8- Yazoo Whimpers

Vincent awakened and as usually he went to his morning tracking through the forest.

Near the river, though, where the water course was calm and the border opened to a solid ground, a whimper called for Vincent's attention. Carefully to not scare whoever it was, he curved himself and flew to take a better materializedon a branch and focused at the person sitting on a rock.

Yazoo.

His head was leaned against his knees, on his left side the phone Cloud had given him was opened and still flashing. Yazoo's eyes were red and puffy, his cheeks pink and his sobs though low, carried a deep sorrow.

Vincent had lived enough to notice when someone was hurt. Shaken by bad feelings.

Vincent knew when the boy came. _" Yazoo is lost in sadness." _That was what Vincent thought when he had seen the young man for first time.

He was not exactly surprised by Yazoo's behavior, he was always in control of his emotions. Cold and polite with glowering eyes. Surface. Yazoo as frail as a crystal. Extremely reserved and perceiving, shy, clever and…gorgeous.

That was the second thought Vincent had when they met.

He hadn´t been sure about his name, but he knew Yazoo was one of the brothers. No human being could be so…alluring. The green cat eyes and the unmistakable silver hair; Sephiroth's clone, rejected from the life stream, perhaps because they didn´t belong to the planet. Alien cells parted from their dead origin, unable to rest… Like he himself was.

_" If he really is so inhuman as I'm, poor boy…he is cursed."_

He thought to come down and maybe say some comforting words , but he also didn't know how to comfort someone. He could listen to the boy, or maybe call him to do something, though Yazoo was not a talkative person.

So many years with few human contacts had made Vincent lose his touch on how to deal with people and his unexpected room mate had come in during a particularly bad season. Vincent was trying hard to not succumb to depression. What was helped him was his friend's request to rebuild some destroyed villages after the meteor's helpful helps, or at least that was what Cid Highwind had said. He was right and Yazoo's silent presence always urged him to so something to cheer him up. Even though Vincent really didn't know how to do it.

What Vicent knew though, was that seeing Yazoo cry made him feel pity and he didn't like this feeling. It reminded him of his own life, his own losses.

It wasn't the first time he saw the boy in that mood. He could hear it late at night, Yazoo in his room, crying.

Silently Vincent climbed a higher branch and flew away, letting the sight of a very sad boy behind.

Yazoo reached for the phone again and cleaning away his tears he dialed the number. Loz picked up the phone and Yazoo smiled as he heard his brother's voice. As expected Loz started to cry and his voice was a mix of whimpering and happiness to hear from Yazoo. Yazoo told Loz about his current location, about his adventures -not telling the poisoning part- and Loz made Yazoo promise to call him every week.

"Oh brother…I'm so sorry for you…I guess you shouldn't have left because of this. It was supposed to happen…"

"Why does everyone say that Loz?"

Yazoo loved his brothers, but Loz was a bit different. The bigger one was a killer machine, a mass of strength and muscles but the kindest and gentle person that Yazoo ever knew.

Yazoo felt free to speak with Loz about everything. He didn't fear Loz´ attitudes and he always trusted Loz much more than Kadaj, even in the past. Loz seemed like a fool but he never was. Out of the three of them he was the one who understand best about feelings, who loved to live a more human life. Perhaps that was why he cried a lot. Loz felt, Yazoo thought, and Kadaj…Kadaj acted. The young brother didn't feel or think too much about his actions and their consequences.

Perhaps that was what people expected from him. Not people, but Yazoo and Loz.

When they returned to a new life full of uncertainties, it made each of them develop what they already had had. Not paying attention to what they needed to acquire.

Loz became more emotive than he had been, Yazoo more rational and Kadaj more impulsive. And totally spoiled by Yazoo, Loz and Reno…

"Because the guy is a drunk asshole…Yazoo, he took advantage of you and Kadaj."

"I know…but Kadaj wasn't exactly unaware of it. He knew he would hurt me."

"He's young, conceited and doesn't know his limits. He's like a kid, he won't stop to play with fire till it burns him. You have the right to be mad but don't stop talking to him. He's really a kid and now I can clearly see it . He fears to lose us...to lose you Yazo. "

" Sorry, Loz but I can't forget…And fall in love by my lover is not exactly a good way to keep me around!"

"Yaz…"

"Yes brother."

"Do you remember what happened in the past with me and Tifa?"

"Of course."

"And where I'm working and living now? Who gave me a chance to start?"

"I understand Loz…"

"If they wouldn't have forgiven me, I wouldn't have had a chance to do something valuable with my life…maybe I would, but here is a good place for me. They understand me, they have patience with me. I like to live here."

"You're right Loz, but I'm still...upset and angry. They are together, aren't they?"

"Well, it's hard to say. I don't ask and Kadaj doesn't speak about this with me. He gets out of school and comes straight here. At night Reno drives him home, but lately he's been sleeping here with me. Why you don't come with Mr Valentine to see me?"

"Does Mr Valentine come to you often?"

"Yes, I guess. He's very close to Cloud and Tifa. He's ok Yaz."

"Yes, I know…So everyone knows where I am…I have to go now, I miss you Loz and I'll pay a visit, but I can't now…but I'll call you."

"I understand you and I'm here Yazoo. Any time you need me."

"I know brother. I love you. Bye"

Yazoo hang up on Loz crying on the other end of the line. He knew Kadaj would be sad to know that Yazoo called Loz and not him, but for now he was really intending to ignore his baby brother. _" He deserves not be the center of my life anymore…"_

In fact, Yazoo had given Kadaj the power to manipulate him, and as any child, the baby brother had grabbed the crown and declared himself the same leader he had been in the past. Only now, he wasn't searching for Mother, but for attention, for emotional dominance.

That night, after Loz cheerfully told Cloud and Tifa that Yazoo had called, Kadaj's eyes got wet and he ran out of the bar. Loz, Cloud, Tifa and Reno ended the night desperately looking for Kadaj. Loz finally found the boy alone in the dark, sitting on the rooftop of the bar, knees bent to his chest and head down in silence.

"He doesn't love me anymore, Loz. Yazoo hates me…"

"He's just confused baby brother...He doesn't hate you."

"Oh…Loz…he told me to feel, to show more affection towards people…Why did I just have to fall in love with him? And why was Yazoo so mad after I told him when before he was so comprehensive?"

"Because you're curious, Reno is an asshole and Yazoo…I dunno Kadaj…"

" Yazoo never liked to share…that's why. We could stay happily living together…"

"Kadaj…people don't like to share lovers. Put this in your head to avoid future trouble."

"But Yazoo already shared Reno with others! Why all this topsy- turvy? Because of me? He should be glad, after all he would be sharing Reno only with me!"

Loz sighed, convinced the boy to calm down and lifted him up, cuddling him like a baby in his strong arms. Indeed, that's what Kadaj really was for Loz. Kadaj didn't have any idea how it what was to be in love with someone, or to be cheated, or hurt. Not from the other's point of view, at least.

"You'll stay here with me tonight. Ok?"

Kadaj just nodded and buried his tearful face in Loz's chest, pulling tight his arms around his big brother's neck.


	9. A Job

Dusclaime: I don't own FFVII and I don't make any money with this writing.

A/N: This chapter was betaed by the awesome writer BMIK- snuggles you tight!

Chapter 9- A Job

Yazoo went to the river to wash some clothes and pick some fruits and vegetables. He heard a motor noise like a bike and he wasn't surprised to see Vincent parking a Fenrir in front of the house. They nooded to each other and Yazoo continued his task.

After two months living in the forest, Yazoo discovered that Vincent not only eat apples, but he culivated a garden with vegetables and some medicinal herbs. And the oddly piece at the kitchen was a stoned woven and it also keeps the water and the house warm in the winter. But the bike was a novelty.

The cracked house and the land around belonged to Vincent's parents since old times. What Yazoo didn't understand it's why Vincent didn't rebuild the house for all these years. Yazoo suspected that he was more than the twenty seven he appears. Something on those red eyes says that he lived a lot. Suffered a lot to be so closed as a shell, concerned to emotions.

Cloud assured Yazoo that he could trust Vincent. He was doing this and they were in a tacit agreement over their personal issues. Vincent never asked why Yazoo left home and Yazoo never asked what happened to his arm and why he had those strange eyes. Not after see by a glance, a path of his skin, when Vincent was unbuckling his cape and his shirt opened more than its should. The man's chest had many scars healed by the time, but visibles.

Since they were sharing the house, Vincent advised Yazoo about his limits.

The gauntlet, when it was on the table it means that he need to clean it and no way he does this with anyone close. Anyone.

_" He could do it at his room, but this is his house not mine…"_ . It was Yazoo's thought.

Other oddly thing is about Vincent's schedule time. He didn't sleep too much, but at night he vanished. Yazoo though curious, didn't ask to where, but he saw some products like materia and food labels from very distant towns. How the man could do this in one night? And the night Vincent came with a big scratch on his leg and in the morning it was completely healed?

Oh not to mention, at this same night he smirked to Yazoo and threw to him a huge black nail.

"Do you recognize that?"

"No…what is this?"

"The flyer lizard's nail that attacked you."

Yazoo dropped the nail at the table with a grimace and a irritated look to Vincent.

"Don't worry, it's not poisoned anymore…the beast is dead."

"No thanks…"

The man is a mystere to Yazoo. Though Yazoo had to respect a guy who killed a monster that size…

Vincent was sitting on the chair with crossed ankles on the table polishing his gun.

Yazoo reached the door and in a shy voice he asked if he could enter. After a positive nood the boy paced towards the kitchen to release the basket with fruits and vegetables. As a guest, Yazoo tried hard to not disturb the man, imposing his presence the least it was possible.

"You need to get a job." The clear and serious voice of Vincent, though snobbish for his taste, and not stopping to clean his gun, barely looking for Yazoo's face.

"Excuse me?" Yazoo said leaving his task to join the man at the living room.

"What do you know to do?"

The short and straight to the point way that Vincent was doing his question, took Yazoo by surprise.

"Uhn…I'm not intending to live here Mr Valentine."

"But you already are and you have to do something. It helps to deal with the forest boringness. Cloud told me that you're a very good shooter."

"Thank you but I intending to leave before the snow falls. And I don't intend to work with this. I appreciate but I rather look for a job by myself."

Everything that reminds him fight, reminds him Reno. And his past life, in a blissful ignorance survival with his brothers, Mother and all the bullshits he no longer believes.

"I see. Do you " intend" to have a free time at evening?"

If this was the way Vincent had to be a funny guy, Yazoo really wouldn't like to stay there more than he was. Yazoo knew he was a little snobish sometimes. But that man was also!

Yazoo came forward to Vincent and crossing his arms and with a very annoyed tone he asked why Vincent "intended to know".

"I have a friend at Gongaga. He has an antique store. It's a good place. Do you want to come with me?"

Yazoo tried hard to not be rude with Vincent. He wasn't exactly comfortable with the man's presence. It's look likes Vincent could " read' him from the top to the bottom of his soul. Though, Yazoo couldn't deny, the man are being more than helpful..

Sometimes he was thankful for his silently company, but others he felt ashamed.

He knew Cloud had spoke with Vincent. And that made Yazoo feels weak as Reno said. Someone to be protected.

But in fact, what he really got now? What were his chances to survive alone, homeless, penniless and far from Midgar without Vincent's help? _" I really can't be rude with him."_

"Are you sure that I won't interfere?"

"I'm inviting you Yazoo."

"Thank you…I'll go with you, Mr Valentine."

"Be ready at five. He closes the store at seven. We can dinner on the town. Do you make me a favour Yazoo?"

"Surely Mr Valentine."

"Vincent. Mr Valentine makes me feel older than I'm."

Yazoo gave a faint smile and nooded, moving away to his room. He laid on the bed and deep sighed wondering what exactly he was doing with his life, why he doesn't come back to Midgar and tried to fix himself there, by the side of his brothers.

"Because If you do this, you'll have to deal with Reno and kadaj, together."

"Kadaj…"

Yazoo deep sighed and pick up his phone. He opened it and with the tip of his thumbs, he caressed the number's buttons wich were Kadaj's phone numbers.

_" I don't want to discuss with him…I can't…yet."_

Yazoo closed his eyes and flipped the phone, throwing it on the edge of the bed.

Vincent watched the scene, in silence and protected by cape to not be noticed.

_" I should say something. But I 'll be pushy…and surely Yazoo would feel ashamed._

_And if I could help, what I will say? __No…Damn…I wish to be able to…hold him…What ?! Hold him?"_

Sometimes, Vincent Valentine scared himself to watch Yazoo. But he couldn't help to not watch. He couldn't help to not think over the sorrows of his life and wish that the boy doesn't pass by a life of bitter solitude.

"_ Why I'm still here, why I want so much to help Yazoo? I don't care, I'm not a person who cares…I 'm not like Cloud. I didn't look over for what Hojo done to me…I never wanted to lose Lucrecia or to see Sephiroth gone mad…whithout help. Or I'm trying to compensate, what I should have done in the past?"_


	10. Gongaga

isclaimer: I don't own FFVII and I don't make money with this writing.

A/N: This chapter had been beated by the amazing writer BMIK, who happens to be rocking Tokyo, by now...Miss you!

Chapter 10- Gongaga

When they arrived at Gongaga, Yazoo was surprised by the city. It wasn't a village as Vincent had told him, but it wasn't like Midgar, with big impressive buildings, either.

It was cozy and cute, with a lot of trees and small flower gardens on the streets. There were two main avenues running to the center and the exit of the city and small alleys crossing its. The city was surrounded by mountains and the forest which was now, Yazoo's home. The same big river crossed the avenues and Yazoo counted three stoned, arched bridges.

The weather was fresh and not as humid as in the forest.

Most of the houses were made of stones, and the medieval look was accented by banners used as label on the stores and restaurants. They walked along the main avenue, busy with the crowd finishing their work day.

Yazoo also noticed tourists, a lot of them actually, shopping and sitting at the cafes along the street.

" I would like to live here…How strange life is sometimes…I planned to get here two months ago in such a different situation…but now it is better."

As usually, Vincent remained in silence, merely speaking to lead Yazoo throught the places till they reached his friend's antique store.

It was a grey stoned house of two floors and a red banner above the door, circled with .

'TUESTI ANTIQUES.'

Yazoo's eyes were curious, looking to everywhere and he went closer to the large glass showcase, admiring objects that he had never seen before and had no idea what they were made for.

"Wow…"

"Do you like it?"

"I never saw a store like that before…what are these…objects?"

"Art my boy…art! Nice to meet you, I'm Reeve Tuesti."

"Oh…Nice to meet you sir, I'm Yazoo."

"Welcome to my store Yazoo and if you have time I'll explain to you what these marvellous objects are…"

The owner was a tall and dark haired man, with a well-cut beard and shining brown eyes. Mr Tuesti looked like some sort of prince of an old era, with that blue long coat and very polite manners. Yazoo liked the man; he was a little affected and he seemed a little anxious, but Yazoo felt he was a good man. Before entering the store, Yazoo looked back to Vincent, seeking his company to get in, but the man remained standing in front of the door.

"Don't you come Mr Valentine?"

"I have others things to do and I'll be back soon."

Yazoo felt a tingle of discomfort to be alone in a strange town with a strange person, but he wouldn't tell or show it towards Vincent. But again Mr Valentine "read" his mind.

"That's ok. I'll buy something that I'm needing, before the store is closing."

Yazoo felt ashamed to be so transparent to Vincent and nodding at the man, he entered the store. The place was just precious with the antique furniture and the beautiful art pieces. Mr Tuesti indeed was a polite man and, gesturing towards a plushy, red armchair for Yazoo, he offered a cup of tea and idly talked about some of the objects that had caught Yazoo's attention. Mr Tuesti explained how he got into the antique's business and Yazoo liked to listen to the man's storie about his life.

"After the destruction of that city, people came to me asking for help to sell their belongings. Some of it were family pieces, they had emotional links with the objects. I always liked history and art and when I had to abandon what I had build, it was hard for me. I understood these people and I began to sell their pieces at the antique exhibitions around the country. Until I ended up here with that store."

"That's a great story, Mr Tuesti."

"Yes…I made a lot of friends and I had the chance to know many cities and countries. The bad part was when I had to travel I needed to close the store and this was not good for business. As you can see, Gongaga is a good touristic city."

They talked over one hour or so and Yazoo confirmed for Mr Tuesti that he was new in town and, although Yazoo explained that he wasn't familiar with art, Mr Tuesti offered a part time job.

"Are you willing to accept my offer, Yazoo?"

Yazoo liked the place and the offer was more than compelling. But it came at the wrong time and he didn't want to be unfair with the man, leaving him with no help later.

"Mr Tuesti, I have to thank you and I am flattered by your offer. But I have unfinished business in my town and I'll have to go back soon. And once there I don't know…which directions my return might take. I would really like to work for you and I doubt that I will get other offers like yours."

"I see…Let's do it this way then. You work for me till you have to leave, so we can see how it´ll work out . You'll have the job and I 'll have your service. Of course I'll pay you."

"Are you sure Mr Tuesti?"

"I'll only ask for your help till you have to leave, I'll have to schedule my travels."

"I accept. Thank you."

"You´re welcome Yazoo. Let's have a toast , even though I have only tea. Vincent surely will bring a good wine."

After some minutes, Vincent came back. And he, indeed, brought a good had dinner at the store, since Mr Tuesti lived there too, on the second floor. Yazoo hadn't had such a pleasant night in a long time ago. Vincent was cheerfully talking about history and some of his adventures. He was so different from that stern figure that Yazoo knew.

" He is so beautiful when he smiles, not smirking or grinning. When he smiles…"

Yazoo blushed at this thought and Vincent noticing the red face of the boy, not wondering that it might could be something else but the wine, so he took away Yazoo's glass.

"No more wine for you…You have to work tomorrow…and I won't take you back home on my lap…"

Vincent's words were whispered near Yazoo's earlobe, causing the boy to get even redder.

"God, he's right…"

Mr Tuesti brought the desert and after that Yazoo and Vincent went home. The forest was not so far and Yazoo memorized the route. Vincent pulled out the keys and narrowed his eyes, warning Yazoo to be careful with his bike.

"Mr Valentine?"

"No."

"Vincent?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you. Thank you very much. I know Cloud asked you to help me, but I never had all of this from…anyone…"

"That's ok Yazoo. Congratulations on the job."

"Vincent…I promise you that one day I'll pay you back."

"I hope you don't try to poison me…"

They smiled at each other and went to their room. That was the first night Yazoo didn't think about Reno before sleep. He slept fast and peacefully.

In the morning the sound of the bike awakened Vincent who was still in bed, and he smiled to himself. _"He's a good kid. Cloud was right." _


	11. Leaving the Fog Forest

Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII and don't make money with this writing

A/N: Without BMIK beta, there would be no fic! Thank you again hon, you are the best!

Chapter 11- Leaving the Fog Forest.

It was christmas. Yazoo saw no point in it. But since Kadaj found that "he " would get presents, the young man kind of liked the atmosphere of the season. He also noticed that Vincent was more silent than ever, not talking about the holiday. When the snow fell down and covered the garden, Yazoo brought a christmas tree, and decorated it with colored little balls and LEDs.

He thought about cheering Vincent up with a surprise dinner and a small gift. He didn´t know that this may not be such a good idea, though, because Vincent hated surprises. And Yazoo was finally returning to Midgar to see his brothers, but he wanted to thank Vincent for everything he had done for him. So Yazoo brought home a bottle of wine and a delivery dinner. They fixed the dinner in the worn wood table, at least it had a table cloth above, courtesy from Yazoo.

"I remember the first time I saw you…In the forest, with your brothers, when you tried to…you know…"

"Destroy the world?"

"Yes. Time passes quickly."

"So this is the night of truths…I suppose that you already knew who am I when I came here for the first time."

"Vaguely. Your hair…We don't see many silver haired people around."

"Yeah and sometimes this is a bit embarassing…I think I should dye it…brown?" Yazoo said, waving his hand and lifting a lock with his fingers.

"It wouldn't look bad, but I rather like you in silver." Yazoo´s cheeks flushed when Vincent slightly touched a lock of his hair, sliding it around his fingers until they came to rest on the boy's shoulder.

"When you recognized me, and helped me, did you feel scared?"

"No." Vincent released Yazoo's hair and sat on the chair.

"Don't lie Vincent."

"A little bit. Then, when you said that you'd stay only two days and it became months….well, now I'm a whole lot more scared!" The raven hair man smirked and opened the wine.

Vincent wanted to say "I am afraid to fall in love with you. Because I never saw a creature in this world so beautiful and perfect as you are Yazoo. That is my fear", but surely he wouldn't dare say this to his friend.

Yazoo tilted his head with his usual "humpf" and gave Vincent a genuine smile.

They had this power over each other. They were reserved and shy people towards anyone else, but not towards each other. Sometimes Yazoo thought about why he felt so attached to the dark haired man. Perhaps because they had been hurt by the ones they had loved. Or maybe it was more simple than that; they just trusted and cared for each other in a way that they had never before. Friendship. Well, Cloud had asked the man to help, though when the time they spent together passed, Yazoo knew that Vincent wouldn't be so friendly, if he didn´t want to.

"Thank you Vincent. For everything. I want you to know that you can count on me. Forever and for anything."

"Thank you too Yazoo. Have a good trip back to your home. I wish you the best and…my house is open in case you want or need to come…back…"

Vincent didn't really think when he suddenly reached for the silver boy and pulled him in a light embrace, tipping Yazoo's back and then only holding him tight. He didn't remember the last time he had done this to someone. Vincent really wished the best for the boy's return to Midgar. Yazoo appreciated Vincent's rare show of affection and leaned his head against the man's chest, feeling himself being held by the safest arms in the world._ " How good it feels to be embraced by someone…Oh god …I 'll miss him."_

"You are by far the best person that I have ever met, Mr Valentine."

"You too kid…you too…Do the best for you there." Vincent smiled and thightened the embrace.

They ate in their usual silence, uncomfortable with others, but not with each other, and then went to bed early.

In the morning Vincent left Yazoo at Gongaga bay and watched the boat leaving the coast with a dull, impassive face and an odd feeling in his chest. He would never admit it, but he already missed Yazoo.

In the next morning Yazoo called Vincent just to say that he had arrived in Midgar. The raven hair man gave a bright smile when he heard the young's voice and his friend, Reeve, frowned his brow.


	12. Months Later part 1

Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII and I don't make any money with this writings

A/N: Betaed by the AWE Writer BMIK- hugs and love to you dear! Please dear readers, feel free to review!

Chapter 12 - Months Later - Part 1.

The wind blew some locks of his silver hair out of the jacket's cap, while the young man walked towards a school. The day was sunny but cold, just like his own heart, the boy sadly thought to himself. Yazoo wasn't sure if he wanted to see Kadaj yet or not. Especially after what had happened with Reno…

He crossed the crowded avenue and reached the school's corner, feeling a tingle on his stomach. Four months. How would Kadaj react to him? He was calling Loz and Cloud on a regular basis, but he had not spoken to Kadaj once.

After a while, Yazoo saw his beautiful baby brother, exchanging hugs and whishes for a good holiday with his friends. He was dressed and acted like an ordinary teenager. Loz was right, Kadaj was just a kid. Beautiful, impulsive, selfish, curious and lost, hardly learning how to deal with feelings and rules of an unplanned life..

Kadaj crossed the large avenue and ran towards a car parked in front of the school.

Yazoo felt his heart pound fast in his chest and he lacked for air in his lungs.

Reno was in the car with Kadaj. They hugged each other, talked for a minute or so and then the red-head gave a small package wrapped in a blue gift-paper to Kadaj. Perhaps a jewel.

Yazoo couldn't hear their talking, because of the noisy traffic, though he saw that the little guy clung to Reno's neck with a blissful smile and kissed him. Passionately.

Yazoo closed his eyes and turned back, mounted his bike and went to the bar to pay Loz a visit.

_" Oh damn it! I wanted to vanish. I gave up…What the fuck am I doing here? Tifa said he was sad…Sad my ass…I'm sad, I'm alone! He's surrounded by friends, care…and gifts, given by Reno… "_

While he parked his bike, Yazoo saw Loz through the glass window. He was cheerfully talking to a few customers. He was happy with his life.

Loz, even with his back to the window, sensed his brother's presence and glanced at the street. A wide smile crossed his face as he saw his beloved Yazoo standing there.

Yazoo smiled back at his brother's handsome face and just seeing that big, gentle man in front of him, made him feel more confident. He strolled over to go into the bar but a small hand on his shoulder stopped his movements.

He turned back , anxiously knowing who it was already and he saw his young brother, with moisture in his eyes, flushed cheeks and trembling lips.

"Yaz…"

Yazoo looked into those huge, green eyes, wet with tears rolling down his childish, round cheeks. Kadaj wailed, pulling his arms around his brother's neck, mixing his sobs and cries with an incomprehensible symphony of words. Yazoo was startled by the so openly emotive gesture from Kadaj. He wasn't expecting an embrace from Kadaj at all. Perhaps because Yazoo wouldn´t normally embraced Kadaj but the boy , who was never one to hide his feeling -whatever they were. Kadaj was sincerely happy to see his middle brother.

"I missed you so much Yazoo!"

" Kadaj…Oh brother, I miss you too, but I-I need to breath…"

Loz came out too, already weeping and sobbing, and held the two boys in his huge arms. In this precious moment, they were what they used to be in the past: one human being together.

A few meters away from them, Reno watched the scene, a cigarette hanging from his thin lips. He blinked twice to clear his vision.

_"Yazoo? He was…he is there, holding Kadaj and Loz?"_ Reno was affected in so many ways to see Yazoo again.

When Yazoo glanced at him over Kadaj's shoulder, Reno felt his limbs freeze_. " Fuck, fuck, I'm not ready for this shit! Why am I feeling like this? Fuck!"_

When Loz and Kadaj broke the embrace, Reno walked towards them. The four men stared at each other in silence. No one wanted to say the first word before Yazoo did and when the middle brother did, his voice was dull and cold. He was pretending to be in control even though he was far from feeling like that at this very moment. Reno was uncomfortable; Kadaj noticed by the way he was sticking his hands into his jacket's pocket.

Reno knew very well he was not an easy person to deal with.

The last straw had been drawn by him. Yazoo had withstood all his cheatings, boozes and well…a turk's life.

He had never complained but only asked one damn thing of Reno: Loyalty. Not fidelity, though he knew Yazoo always felt sad about the random lovers he took. For Reno it was just "messing around", nothing serious, nothing with feelings involved. He had missions, solved them, got drunk, high and then he had sex. It was like a prize party. No care, no love, only pure sex.

However, Reno wasn't good at dealing with feelings and heart issues. All his life he had to be a hard guy. No home, no affection, no one. What he knew about love and care he learned from the streets. And the streets weren´t always a very good teacher…

But Yazoo was a different matter for Reno. He wanted to take care of him since the first time he saw the gorgeous boy wounded at Shinra's infirmary. Even when they fought at opposite sides and punched each other, even when Yazoo, in a fit of jealousy, had pointed Velvet Nightmare at his head, he still wanted to take care of him.

Especially when that same cold blooded killer, once the one who had wanted to destroy the world in the name of an alien virus, moaned his name in bed, making Reno mad with pleasure.

Yazoo had once said, " I love you, Reno". And Reno, though unable to say the same, cared a lot for Yazoo, strong enough to bring Yazoo home with him. Strong and possessively enough to not allow anyone to touch "his Yazoo". Not even Shinra.

He tried hard to be only with him, but he simply couldn't. He was Reno, a drunk manwhore.

And during a very bad time of their relationship it had happened; the boredom of a monogamic life had charged its price. And there was Kadaj ...

He was such a little teaser, so hungry for love, life and new experiences. A perfect face and a hot body that Reno couldn't help but crave to touch. The only promise that Yazoo had begged him to keep, and Reno broke it. And he was broken by it. He fell in love.

"Don't touch my brother, Reno. Please. I can bear others but not him. Kadaj will tear us apart if you do this. He's vain, envious and he will try to seduce you. But don't fall for it. Promise me!"

"Nah…the little guy isn't envious, yo…Why would the brat do this?"

"Because…everything that I have, he wants too. It's like, have what I have will keep me always close to him. It's weird I know, but it's true. In the end he always wins…and I suffer."

"Princess, hush…it won't happen."

Reno felt his arms stretching to hold Yazoo. He wanted to embrace the boy, shout that he was sorry and kiss him. Reno shook his head; that he was thinking about such nonsense…Surely Yazoo would smack him right across the face if he tried to kiss him…and then Kadaj…

"How are you Yazoo? Can I hold you, Yaz ?"

" I don't think so, Reno…"

Reno didn't let Yazoo enough time to finish his excuse and simply embraced the boy, pressing Yazoo against his body, sliding his hands over Yazoo's back, smelling his hair. For Yazoo, it wasn't easy and he pushed the man away, glaring at Reno. Kadaj increased his grip on Loz's hand when he saw the scene.

"I didn't say that you could touch me!" Yazoo hissed at Reno, ashamed.

"Sorry. I'll wait till you are…ready. I meant to pick you up so we can get your stuff."

" I won't do it today. Tomorrow is a bad day for you?" Yazoo said and glanced towards Kadaj and Loz. Loz motioned to get into the bar, but Kadaj's squeeze on his hand stopped the oldest brother's intention.

" Any time you want. Just call me and I'll pick you up. I'll go now…I just came by to drop Kadaj here. I have to work tonight…"

Yazoo nodded his head at the man and turned back to where Loz and Kadaj were waiting, his heart was trotting like that of a wild horse. They entered the bar while Reno vanished in the crowded streets, going back to his car.

_" Shit, why did he embrace me? Does he miss me as bad as I'm missing him?He wasn't so careful with me before… Is he cheating on Kadaj with others too? Oh god…he's so beautiful… Why am I here? I should have stayed in Gongaga…"_


	13. Kadaj's Fear

Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII and I don't make money with this writing.

A/N: Thank you so much dear BMIK for beta reading this chapter! *Snuggle you tight*

Chapter 13- Kadaj's fear

The day prior, Yazoo and his brothers had spent all their time together. Yazoo had spoken about his new life and listened to his brothers´ adventures at school and work, avoiding to talk about Reno. This morning it would be a little different. The excuse was to catch Velvet Nightmare and some personal things, but actually Yazoo wanted to check how Reno was dealing with his absence.

Tifa once more, intuitive and accurate, asked Kadaj for help to fix a special lunch for them. Surely, Reno and Yazoo had a lot to discuss. Though Kadaj was feeling extremely unsure himself about the consequences of their dialogue; he wanted Yazoo near him, but not for him to go back to Reno. He was getting so anxious that in the end, he was thankful to help Tifa, even with something that he thought boring: cooking.

Finally Yazoo left the bar, followed by the suspicious look from Kadaj and a worried look from Loz, to find Reno, parked in front of the bar. This was not as before, Yazoo was not the same person as he was before. He had left Reno in the past, as a drastic measure to change the man's life-style. But the last two times, Yazoo had been in the heat of his passion and breaking up with Reno had been something impossible for him to do... That burning, mad feeling that allowed Yazoo to do everything for Reno -even share him with his own brother- was blurred by a grudging feeling now.

After Yazoo had left the bar with Reno, Cloud went for a delivery, Loz went shopping and Kadaj helped Tifa, with an annoyed face, slicing vegetables for lunch. Tifa had the power to give quietness and comfort to Kadaj, different from his brothers. Not that Kadaj didn´t feel safe with them, but he guessed that having a mother would be like this: sweetness all the time. No threats, just comprehension.

"Tifa? Do you think…Yazoo forgave me? I mean, I know that I was not exactly a role model of a good brother… you know…and well…he said he forgave me, that he wanted to leave, that he was tired of his life and bla bla bla…"

"Well…he's here, isn't he?" Kadaj's mistrusting tone was noticed by Tifa, who payed more attention to him.

" Yeah, but I mean…I felt he was a little… bit…cold."

"Why ? Did Yazoo say something to you about…you know, Reno?"

" No…not a word, yet." Kadaj said, lowering his eyes and biting his lip. They remained in silence for a while and Tifa was remembering Yazoo's reactions towards Kadaj at the night before and this morning. Yes, actually Kadaj was right.

" Tifa, do you think he will come back, to live here?"

" Oh Kadaj, this is hard to say yet…it depends, I guess ..."

Tifa turned to face Kadaj; she was cooking a huge chicken. She stopped to stir the pan and dried her hands on a cloth. _" I really should tell him that Reno, not him, was the trouble, but…I don't think Kadaj will understand it yet…"_

"Kadaj, listen to me. Your brother…he's in a very delicate moment of his life. It's common for adults to pass through this. When people finish a relationship, it's necessary to keep a distance to be able to better think about the situation. We can't guess what Yazoo needs now, and we can't influence his decisions."

"It was my fault. I know…But I didn't want to hurt him. And I- I opened the door for Reno that night…I wanted him so badly and I didn't stop. Tifa…I know what I have done, but I fell in love with him. Reno was my first man. Everybody thinks Reno seduced me or worse, forced me to do something, but that´s wrong! He was so gentle, so lovely... Today he gave me a jewel...a ring...look, Tifa. And you know that Yazoo had agreed with our…uhn…lifestyle? Yes, he did and then he went mad and vanished."

Tifa noticed that he was wearing a ring, but she never would have guessed that it was a gift from Reno… She took Kadaj's hand and the ring was beautiful, indeed. It was made from silver, circled by a golden wire, forming waves. _" God… if Yazoo notices that…"_

"Tifa, do you know that play that Denzel and Marlene like to do? The spinning? It makes us feel dizzy and to avoid to fall, you have to focus your vision on a fixed spot…That's how I feel with Reno. He makes me dizzy, and I must hold him to not fall…He's not evil Tifa. He cried to me that he doesn't know what to do, because he likes Yazoo, a lot, but he feels something totally new for me…stronger. Tsk! I am evil and sick... I'll never be loved again by Yazoo as I was… perhaps he hates me now…he called every week and only spoke to Loz. Never to me. Everyone will hate me…"

Kadaj abandoned his task and covered his face to hide his tears. Tifa was aware of the motivations that made Yazoo leave home, but, till now, Kadaj had never spoken openly about what had happened. Kadaj could be selfish and conceited, but now the boy was really being genuine with his feelings.

"Hey… don't think this! You're loved and Yazoo is your brother. He is here, for you and Loz! And nobody hates you, Kadaj." Tifa pulled a chair near to Kadaj and embraced the boy, caressing his head. Everyone thought Kadaj to be just a selfish, or spoiled and surely nutty brat, but the boy was lacking true affection. When he got it from Reno, he grabbed it with both hands…surely he was spoiled, but it was really hard not to surrender to his cute face and his sincere puppy eyes. Perhaps that was why she was so close to him. Kadaj often ran to Tifa to seek comfort and she never denied it. Not even when Cloud said that she would spoil Kadaj even more than he already was.

"Why I'm so lost Tifa?Do you think they are back together by now? That Yazoo will seduce him, just to be mean and hurt me?"

Tifa scratched her head and, closing the boy to her huge breasts, soothed his tears away.

"Kadaj, do you love your brother?'

"Oh, yes Tifa, I love him so much!"

"Then stop these worries over what would happen. Show Yazoo that you love him. I believe this is enough for him, your love and your true feelings about this mess. Talk to him. Not today, maybe tomorrow, Yazoo will stay for a while. Get closer to your brother. For now, Kadaj, you should analyze what you really feel for Reno. It's clear that you have feelings for him, but I know your heart is really aching for your brother, isn't it?"

" Yeah…Do-do you think Yazoo still loves me?"

"I'm sure Kadaj." They cuddled for a while and then Kadaj lifted his face and stared at Tifa with a frown and said with an afraid tone in his voice,

"Tifa…Yazoo isn't like me or Loz. I know I'm not…uhn…a mr nice guy all the times, but Yazoo hides his true feelings. He can say one thing, think another, and does another and no one would ever know it. Only he. "

"What do you mean Kadaj?"

Kadaj trusted Tifa. The way she treated him since a long time ago, since they had arrived from the lifestream, assured him of this. He liked her and respected her a lot, but he was afraid even to say it to her, what he thought about his brother's possible reactions.

" Nothing…You're right…Tifa."

"Good and put in your head that nobody hates you, Kadaj! In fact, this is impossible!" Tifa gave him a kiss on the top of his head and returned to her tasks, smiling at the boy. Kadaj, though a bit more comforted, couldn't help to glance at the clock, time after time.

_" I'm better than Yazoo. I'm much better…Reno won't fall for him…I hope."_


	14. Months Later part 2

Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII and I don't make any money with this writing.

A/N: Chapter betaed by the wonderful writer BMIK- Thank you my dear!

Warnings: Smut- Reno x Yazoo, but it's for a good way, they needed to end their story!

Chapter 14 - Months Later Part 2

When they reached the entrance of the apartment, Yazoo didn't feel a 'back at home' sensation. The warm feeling which relaxed and quieted his fears, because he was safe, he was cuddled by a place with his scent, his belongings, was missing. This was not Yazoo's house, not anymore.

He paced around the apartment and it was a little bit messy for Yazoo's taste. The kitchen housed a huge pile of dishes and the coffee table had an empty bottle of wiskey and an ashtray full of cigar butts. Kadaj's room door was closed. Their old room was untouched. It was clean, smelling of lavander and white, fresh sheets. The silver haired boy swallowed his pride with rancor inside himself. Yazoo also noticed the lack of portraits. Not a little one of their old photos was to be seen. _"He must have thrown them away."  
_

Reno lit another cigarette and with a sarcastic smirk, he ambled behind Yazoo through the house. When Yazoo turned back to the living room, he bumped into Reno; the proximity to the man gave him the chills.

"You need a maid." Yazoo coldly said and slightly pushed Reno away, but with an arrogance that made Reno feel anger.

"Four months out and this is the first shit that you have to say to me? I think it's better you cool down your stuck up attitude. Why are you so angry Yazoo? After all, you left me because you wanted to. Perhaps it's your time to have fun, uhn? You got tired of a red head and replaced it for a red cape?…"

Reno couldn't help the jealousy that came with knowing that Yazoo was supported by that demonic friend of Cloud. He had never liked Vincent Valentine. He feared him. The guy was an ex- turk and an alive –and- kicking experiment of Hojo. He was not an ordinary guy that Reno could spank and say a 'get off your dirty hands from MY lover or I will kill you'. And if Yazoo was there, it was not against his will. And his Yazoo was so handsome, too alluring to not be desired…

"I didn't come here to listen to your whining. I will pick up my gun and leave." Yazoo vanished in his old room, but Reno grabbed him by the arm. They stared at each other.

The air was as heavy as iron between them. Though eventually, Reno softened his voice.

"It was not easy, you know? You had accepted mine and Kadaj's apologies, we came to a good arrangement and then you vanished! Can you imagine what torture it was to me and Kadaj to find out that you had been gone?! You didn't say a word, or left a note…only that crazy phone call! And a few weeks later you spoke with everyone, but me and Kadaj. Why?"

Yazoo tilted his head to Reno and looked at his hand, which was still on him. It was a subtle look and Reno released his arm with a sigh.

" Fine! Pick up your gun and do as you wish! You want this atmosphere between us!"

"I warned you Reno, I will leave you if you cheated on me with my own brother again!" Yazoo did just that and vanished inside their old room.

" It can't be cheating when the other part said that you were okay with it. You said that you were accepting this because you were tired of this life too. Of your life with me! Do you remember your words to us? You said WHATEVER! I DON'T MIND!" Reno was nervous and he went to the living room while Yazoo followed him.

"Reno you proposed me to share YOU with Kadaj!? You broke your promise to not touch Kadaj and then you two happily came to me saying you were in love! And we, WE could live as a blissful threesome! It was grotesque, bizarre!" Yazoo's deep voice didn't show how anxious he was, but he was shaking from inside. He sat on the couch with a grunt. He felt his hands getting cold.

The vision of Yazoo, body rested on the black couch, his long silver hair sculpuring the line of his pale neck; it was burning Reno's head. And also his groin… He bent on his knees and held Yazoo's waist, leaning his head against those lean but strongh thighs. The silver hair boy remained cold, staring at those blue eyes. Reno tightened his arms around the slender waist and slowly rose his body and got closer to Yazoo's face. Cagey, as if Yazoo would bite him, he took the cold hands of the boy. He kissed the palm and then he joined Yazoo's fist and kissed his pulse.

"Yazoo, do you forgive me? I-I know I was a piece of shit. I know I fucked up everything…But when you got me, you knew how I was. I never lied to you. Do you think we can fix it? Do you accept me back? Yazoo…I can't stop to desire I saw you there at 7 th heaven, standing in front of me…I- I thought I would have a heart attack… I wanted to hug and kiss you." Reno sat on the couch and whispered into the boy's earlobe, while his hands traveled from Yazoo's forearm to his neck. He rubbed Yazoo's nape with his nose. Reno knew Yazoo needed time, needed to feel cared for and necessary.

"Reno…p-please…I have to pick my winter clothes and Velvelt Nightmare!"

"Oh God Yazoo…no one is like you…you are perfect baby." Reno, again reached for Yazoo's hand and kissed his fingers, sucking one of them and then he kissed the boy's nape, giving him little bites.

"Reno…this is much faster than I was expecting…s-stop…p-please…"

" We were apart for so long…I missed you so much…" Reno was whispering the words into Yazoo's ear as if he was casting a spell.

Yazoo felt an ache in his heart; he was melting under the light kisses and nibbles on his neck. When Reno held Yazoo's shoulders and laid him on the couch, he thought to stand up. But the sinewy body above him was pressing the right spots, was kissing his mouth so eagerly. Reno eyes met with Yazoo, he was stroking and pressing his hard groin on Yazoo's own.

" Do you see how I missed you? Oh princess, come back to live together with me. "

The passionate and hot kiss broke all the defenses Yazoo had intented to keep. When the red haired man stared at him with those eyes full of desire, Yazoo didn't resist. The coldness he wanted to pretend, went away with a moan when Reno nervously reached the zipper to stick his hand inside Yazoo's pants. There were some things that only Yazoo did to Reno. Things that only his silver haired lover was allowed to do with his body…Nobody else. Period. They had stayed in the " blissful arrangment" as Reno called it, for some months. But then Yazoo went mad every time that Reno and Kadaj were together. The house crashed down in complaints which lead to fights. _" Fuck… I know I'm more wrong than ever, but I can't give up on Yazoo, I can't give up on this hot fucking body…I can't…"_

Yazoo rocked his hips in time with the hand in his pants. He moaned with Reno's cold touches on his member, squeezing the head and slowly sliding to the base. Though, flashes of Reno with Kadaj were crossing his mind, preventing Yazoo to give himself to the hot caresses. Suddenly, he stopped to wriggle and stared at Reno, hands on the shoulder of the red head to cease his movements.

" Reno…before we go on with this, could you get your phone, please?" Yazoo was sorry to restrained the pleasure. But his doubts were bigger than his lust for the red head. He needed to be sure about how much Reno wanted him back.

" Uhn?…what for baby?" Reno was burying his face in Yazoo's crotch, and stopped to raise his head to the boy with a frown.

"To call Kadaj and tell him that whatever you have with him is over, because you want me back." 

Reno remained in silence for some seconds, pondering Yazoo's words. _" Fuck, I knew, he wants me to choose."_

" Later, baby…now this job is much more…hmmm…important…"

As Yazoo didn't push him, Reno shifted his position and swallowed Yazoo's member at once, running his tongue from the tip to the base. But it didn't work, to the red head´s disappointment…instead of a moan of pleasure, he was contemplated with a dull face and angry green eyes glaring at him.

" Yazz… This is not so simple, I swear to you…I-I wish to do as you're asking me, …" Reno sweetly answered, stroking the boy's face with his thumbs, but not moving from his spot. " Yazoo…we can fix it but not that way. Relax…baby…"

" It was already fixed. And take off your mouth from my cock!" Yazoo, in all his fury to have been replaced by Kadaj, pushed Reno away, who fell on his buttocks on the floor.

Yazoo stood up angrily, closed his pants and lifted the bag with some clothes and his beloved Velvet Nightmare. He stepped towards the door, though instead of opening it, he tapped his fingers over the wood. Yazoo knew that by the time he crossed the door, he wouldn't come back to Reno. But he was hopeful…For some minutes he forgot completely that he was dealing with Reno. Reno, a guy guided by his cock, with a huge ego, seductor by nature and in love for the first time of his life. Not with Yazoo, though, but his brother, Kadaj. The rage increased in Yazoo's heart. _" Bastard…he wants to keep me to vary the taste! __Only for this."_

Reno slowly rose from the floor and when Yazoo turned to face the man, he was panting, narrowed and furious eyes were glaring at Yazoo while he straightened his clothes.

"You vanished to make us feel guilty, to punish me and Kadaj! I'm tired of this fuck! You're not easy to deal with, man, and you think of yourself as a fucking fairy…But I care for you, I like you Yazoo. A lot, but it was never enough for you! Do you think your new friend has the same feelings for you, the patience, that he knows you as I do? Do you think that anyone will help you as I did? Fuck you!"

"Will you have the balls to leave Kadaj and stay only with me, Reno? I mean, you could have your old life, but not with Kadaj." Yazoo was shaking inside when he asked the question; he could´ve shout if his mind hadn´t been not so dizzy with frustation. Reno stared at him.

" Yaz…you want exclusive and I never promised that to had a good life together and only you didn't value it."

" I said Kadaj, idiot!" Yazoo's voice became louder. It even surprised him.

" Fuck! No, Yaz ! I won't take your side in that fucking brother's rivalry! If you want to come back, my arms and heart are open to you, but Kadaj will stay! Here, living with us! Period!"

The anger, the jealousy and the envy boiled inside Yazoo and the announcement that Kadaj must stay made him want to rip the shit out of Reno.

" Reno, do you love Kadaj? Do you say 'I love you Kadaj'?" Yazoo glared at Reno and reached inside of his bag, not breaking the eye contact. The silver haired boy had a dangerous glow on his huge, green eyes.

Reno sat on the couch, relaxed posture and stared at Yazoo, while he was fumbling in his bag.

" Why do you always like to do the things the hard way? Shit...we could just live peacefully together, you, me and Kadaj...I promise I won't fuck with anyone else, only you two. This is all that I can offer Yazoo...and very happily!"

" I asked you… a question, you fucking piece of shit…" Yazoo found what he was looking for and pointing Velvet Nightmare at Reno he asked again if the man loved Kadaj.

" Oh this shit again…stop to point this thing on me or one day I'll lose my patience, yo…"

But the sound of the trigger being unlocked, no longer seemed like an empty threat. Especially when Yazoo shot at the couch, perfectly between Reno's leg and his balls. The red head jumped in fear and anger, after a loud curse regarding Yazoo's insanity.

" Answer my question! Now!" Yazoo shouted and his finger was again on the trigger. Reno swallowed and cursed again. His heart was pumping a heavy metal drumming solo and his head was aching. Hurt and anger mixed in his mind.

Quick as a bullet Reno reached for his EMR, which was providentially leaned on the side of the couch, and hit Yazoo on his arm, causing his Velvet Nightmare to fall in the floor. Yazoo, despite the pain he was feeling, jumped and kicked the rod out of the red head's hands. In that same second, Reno took advantage to grab Yazoo's ankle and both lost balance and fell on the floor. Yazoo managed to kick Reno's arm off of his ankle, Reno released the grip and smashed himself on top of the boy with a key neck grip.

" What the fuck was that? You wanted to kill me, uhn?" Reno was furious and he grabbed Yazoo's hair.

" I didn't miss Reno…and I swear to you the next I will hit! Get off of me!" Yazoo hissed, he was onto his stomach, pinned in the floor by Reno's body. He was too out of shape for a serious fight…

"I warn you that I'll lose my patience yo! I warn you crazy fucking bitch! Fuck you! Fuck..bitch, my bitch…mine…"

Yazoo struggled to free himself, but he was stopped. Not by the EMR, or a hard slap. Reno raised Yazoo's head by the grip on his hair and kissed him furiously, so passionately that Yazoo almost choked with Reno's tongue fiercely invading his mouth. Yazoo begged Reno to stop the kiss, stop to undress him and he struggled against Reno´s amazingly lean but heavy form. But in the end…in the end Yazoo knew…he wanted Reno as badly as he was pretending to not want him… Yazoo tried hard to not succumb to that heat, to the passion, to the lewd declaration which his body was giving to Reno. He was thrilled, he was aroused…he was crazy to be fucked on that floor so hard that everyone in the world would hear his screams. Reno, on the other hand, was pissed off and aroused at the same time. He roughly lowered Yazoo's pants and his own. The fight, the shot, everything mingled inside his head and his body responded with a huge hard-on, pressing against his groin. Yazoo's not so strong efforts to free himself was doing more and more for his throbbing erection. He couldn't deny that he was mad at Yazoo and the sight of his pale ass under him almost made him come.

" That's what you need baby, a hard, dirty fuck to quiet you!"

Having said that, Reno shoved deeply inside Yazoo, not letting him time to adjust, but slowly moving his hips, eliciting a loud moan from Yazoo. Reno could felt the bundle of nerves fighting to expell his sudden invasion. But it was so delectable, so hot, Reno groaned and pushed himself till the balls, till Yazoo screamed and arched his back to get more of Reno.

" Oh fuck yeah...I will rape... your.. so fucking tight ass...that 's what you wanted since you got here uhn?"

" Ah..F-fuc…fuck you!" Yazoo growled, his erection was painfully rubbing the floor. He felt his ass torn with the hard thrusts from Reno.

Oh pain, the pain and the pleasure made Yazoo cry out a strangled sound; the pain to be ripped apart by Reno's fat cock. The pleasure that only his red head lover could give him… thrusting, scratching his skin and shaking his insides with a masterful touch. But it wasn't lovely, gentle sex. The mist of rage still lingered over both men, it was hard to say if it was arousing them more or turning them mad with rage...

" Yeah…you like it little slut, hu? I know…no one would give you this Yazz…ahn, ahn..fuck.."

Reno grabbed Yazoo's head and arched his back. The position made him crave even more for Yazoo´s lustful body; he bent Yazoo's ass in the air and deepened the pace, but still he went very slow. _" Oh God, I'm so fucked up…this is so good…"_

Yazoo cried out in pleasure. At each push, Reno hit directly on Yazoo's prostate. Though without much experience, Yazoo was always amazed how Reno did that to him. Emotionally and physically. The way Reno fucked him, slowly and deep, stroking his prostate with each long thrust.

" Yazoo.." Reno was rubbing himself against Yazoo's sweaty back, scratching his sides. He sucked and kissed Yazoo's neck, he drifted a bit to stroke Yazoo's hard cock. _" Yes, moan for me, Yazoo. Show me that you´re mine, come back to me…" _But it didn´t suffice for someone who wanted so much to bury himself inside the other as Reno did. He pulled out and turned Yazoo to face him. He wanted to stare into these eyes, to see the pleasure wash away that arrogance. _" He is tight. Maybe he's not fucking with that guy."_

The thought about Yazoo with someone else lead Reno to new fury. His kisses on Yazoo were fierce, bruised his lips and marked the delicate skin of his neck and nape. The hot sensation of being engulfed by Yazoo´s tight ass was wonderful, as was the assurance that he was hurting him with the hard thrusts. He wanted for Yazoo to for once and for all, know that Reno was the right choice, not a red eyed whatever, not another ordinary man, no one. Yazoo was a prize and he, Reno, was the winner. He knew Yazoo like no one else in the world, he cared for him, he needed him. He loved Kadaj, he was sure of that statement with his soul, but Reno couldn't deny that he was not able to live without Yazoo. He wanted it all.

" You fucking little slut thought that you could hurt me, uhn? I will fuck you so hard that you will need a fucking wheelchair …"

" Fu..fuck you.." Yazoo gripped a lock of the red hair, pulling it with enough strenght to make Reno's head tilt sideways.

" It isn't like it seems ...w-watching..ah..ah..from my point of view…" Yazoo took advantage of the momentary loss of balance from Reno and bit his shoulder, leaving his teeth prints on the red head's pale skin and causing a cry of pain from those thin lips. Reno pulled out almost all the way, then he shoved deeper inside Yazoo, who cried out louder. In pain and pleasure when the movement hit his prostate. Reno did it again and again till Yazoo arched his back and buttocks to get it deeper, harder, hotter.

" Moan for me baby, moan Yazoo…Ahn, fuck…"

The silver haired man released the grip to the red head's neck, to scratch him, to drip out blood from his skin. To show Kadaj who had been there, claiming back HIS lover.

" Yess…I will moan for you…oh Reno…"

Yazoo sweetly cupped Reno's face, and kissed him passionately. Reno melted under the sudden change of mood from Yazoo. He was making love with Yazoo now. _"He will come back to me."_ He changed too and licked his lover´s tongue slowly to taste his mouth and slid his hand over Yazoo's legs with the same sweetness. He lifted the young man in his lap and they danced together till the pace became hard and fast enough. Yazoo started frantically to touch himself, till his seed spurted on Reno's belly. With Yazoo's after come clenchings, Reno trembled in spasms and came too, his head buried in Yazoo's neck. They squeezed each other in a mess of touches, kisses and an oddly embrace, with one of Yazoo's leg locked around Reno's hips and the other one leaned on the red head's shoulder. Then, after the jolts of pleasure had ripped both men, reality kicked in.

Reno sighed and rolled off of Yazoo. They remained in the floor, near the door staring towards the ceiling. They didn't know what to say now. There was no words that Yazoo could use to describe what he was feeling: grudge, regret to have shot and to have had sex, pain, hate, sadness…He wasn't thinking clearly to process what had happened here. Also Reno. The red head didn't move from his spot when Yazoo stood up and went to the bathroom.

He was so…empty. He never felt empty after sex. He could deal with almost everything from over-work to physical pain, but feelings…empty feelings…He was not used to this. Reno scared himself for feeling guilty. To feel that he actually deserved a shot. Not because of Yazoo, but Kadaj. The loud ringing of his phone cut his sad thoughts off and Reno brought himself to stand up and reach for the phone in the coffee table.

" Hey, can you talk? I had a bad feeling about you two …" Kadaj 's voice carried a tone of sadness.

" Sure pretty baby…what's up?" Reno comforted himself by listening to Kadaj, his pretty baby.

" Is Yazoo there?" As Reno was doing pauses between the phrases, chosing words, Kadaj got suspicious. He began to wonder if he had been tight about Yazoo's dark behavior.

" We are coming soon. Hey, pretty baby, I have to tell you something and I need you to listen to me carefully." Reno was unsure if he should tell Kadaj or not. But his concerns about the boy's safety was bigger than anything...

" What happened Reno? Oh no…don't come to me with this shit…I know you and I know Yazoo too.. Oh fuck man! You really can't keep your cock in your pants, hu?"

"Kadaj…shut the fuck up and listen to me. Yazoo is in the bathroom. Don't bother him when he gets there. Got it? Do you promise me. pretty baby? …"

"Fuck you Reno!" Kadaj hung up. Reno sighed and cursed himself and the world. He dressed to wait for Yazoo.

In the bathroom, the scene was no less dramatic. Yazoo sat in the edge of the huge bath tub, eyes blankly starring at him from the mirror. _" I don't want that old life…what the fuck have I done? God…why doesn't he stay only with me?"_

The heavy knocks on the door startled Yazoo and he hurried to clean himself.

" Yaz…Are you ok?"

" I'm out in a minute."

" Take your time baby."

Yazoo didn't realize how much time he had been locked in the bathroom, but when he came out, Reno was shouting at Kadaj on the phone. An aching in Yazoo's heart made him find the truth he had been denying for such a long time. He loved Reno and Reno loved Kadaj. And Kadaj…Kadaj was the chosen one again… _" Kadaj won. Again he has something that I cherished. That I was happy to have. That I thought I had…"_

Yazoo reached for his gun and went out in silence, leaving the bag with clothes. Reno flipped the phone shut and Kadaj called again. He grabbed Yazoo's hand but the silver hair youth shook his head and gently released his hand.

" Talk with Kadaj and… I'm sorry Reno…I have to go."

" No, please no Yazoo."

" I need time for myself now, we talk later."

Reno embraced Yazoo and the boy let himself savour their last embrace. It was for Yazoo. When they broke the hug, he opened the door and vanished out of the apartment. He didn't look behind to see his red head ex-lover dealing with a jealous Kadaj, fighting on the phone. Everything seemed so unfocused. He was so confused. So…sad, furious and scorchingly envious of Kadaj. Though, beside all the hot sex, he didn't want Reno back. That encounter proved it for Yazoo.


	15. Fight

Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII and I don't make money with this writings.

A/N: Chapter betaed by the awesome BMIK!

Chapter 15- Fight

Yazoo entered the bar like a hurricane and, not caring who was in there, he vanished in his room and locked the door. He dropped the bag and himself in the bed, tears rolling down his flushed cheeks._ " He didn't want me, he chose Kadaj…he loves Kadaj…not me…" _Yazoo couldn't help the sadness about it… also the anger. Even more to almost have shot Reno to later figure out what he already knew. Yazoo was feeling cheap, regretful and tremendously stupid. The green monster of jealousy was getting bigger and bigger inside his mind and heart…_ " What's happening to me?! Why did I do this?!"_

At the moment Yazoo crossed the bar, Kadaj ran after him, but Yazoo was faster and shut the door almost at Kadaj's face. A clear 'get out of here' was yelled at by Yazoo, but it not stopped Kadaj. The boy was angry, jealousy and Kadaj was actually feeling betrayed not by Reno, but Yazoo. Kadaj began to knock and shout to Yazoo open the damm door.

" Open it Yazoo! I have to talk to you!"

" Get ou Kadaj! I don't want to see you now!

" I won't get out of your door and I will shout higher! Open this fucking door!"

When a red face with swollen watery eyes opened the door, Kadaj was sorry to have knocked. The younger brother almost fell inside the room when Yazoo roughly opened the door, clearly pissed off. Though rare, when Yazoo was in a bad mood, the best was to keep away from him. Yazoo seemed to lose all his reasonable mind, much worse than Kadaj when he was in an angry state.

"Don't you want to know why I'm crying Kadaj? Or are you so good that you already guessed it? You don't have to feel cheated …He chose you. He loves you Kadaj…"

But Kadaj was easily guided by his vanity and knowing that his red headed lover had finally decided to be with him instead of Yazoo, warmed his heart. He didn't care anymore if Reno had had a last laid with Yazoo. A very small grin, imperceptible for anyone else, but not for Yazoo, crossed Kadaj's face.

" It's not my fault, Yazoo…we can't chose who we love, remember that you said this to me? And it serves you well to had cheat on me!"

The same words he had heard minutes ago, from a man he loved and which was in love with his brother.

" How could you say that it was not your fault? You're a hot virgin piece of ass, rolling your hips around my house, stalking my lover, offering yourself …"

"Yazoo, we spoke over this thousands times, before you decided to leave Reno! You said to me that you were leaving not because you know that Reno and I were in love! But because you needed a meaning for your life! You knew it!

That was your choice! Leave home and Reno. And me…"

Yazoo indeed had done this. But the boy also couldn't help the hurt and the envy to not be the chosen one, again. _" What about Kadaj? Why does he always have to be " the one", even for my lover?" _He didn't leave Reno for Kadaj. Reno wanted Kadaj and this morning he had all the prove of it. But Yazoo wasn't thinking clearly now. He was too angry for this…too mad.

" Yeah-yeah…you're right… I didn't see that on time…I didn't listen to my brain when I invited you to live with us…I only listened to my heart…"

Yazoo slowly raised his hand while talking, stroking Kadaj's hair, earlobe and the side of his cheek. Kadaj felt dizzy with the mix of feelings inside him. He was jealousy, angry, and ashamed for Yazoo and for himself. And scared. He thought to run and to hold Yazoo at the same time. He felt guilty. Though his brother's eyes were carrying an odd bright light…

" To be hurt by a sassy, selfish, vein and stupid brat! My own brother! I should have done it the first time that I saw you crawling up your hands onto my lover! SPOILED BITCH!"

The first slap made Kadaj saw stars in front of his eyes, and the second made the boy lose his balance and fell on the floor. Yazoo was in a frenzy and jumped onto his brother, gripping his arms with one hand and pinning Kadaj's body on the ground! He slaped Kadaj till the screams made Loz, Cloud and Denzel ran up to the stairs, knocked at the door and shouted at the boys to stop the fight. Kadaj cursed and cried at the same time, he called Yazoo an envious, crazy bitch. Kadaj tried to defend himself from the strong grip and the punishing hand, which didn't stop to slap his already wounded and bloodied face. When Kadaj finally managed to get free from Yazoo's grip, he grabbed his brother's hair and both men rolled on the floor in a mess of kicks, punchs, and yelled curses.

By this time, Loz and Cloud had broken down the door and they struggled to separate the catfight. Poor Cloud, in an attempt to help, he was kicked by Yazoo's boot in the stomach, and fell on top of Loz, coughing hard. The weight of Cloud increased Loz's own and he broke the chair, crashing both men on the floor. Suddenly, the fight and loud cries ceased.

Denzel threw a bucket full of cold water onto the boys.

" That always worked with the street cats …"

Hours later, after a hot bath and cups of tea to quiet the bad moods, Cloud, Loz and Tifa closed the bar. The kids were locked in their rooms and Marlene got a little scared. Reno called and spoke to Cloud, totally in panic, fearing for Kadaj's safety. The spiky blond almost fell on the floor, when he got to know that Yazoo shot Reno, or better, his couch. Yazoo and Kadaj were in silence and avoiding to look at each other, sitting on the dinner table. Yazoo had scratches all over his arms and a black eye. Kadaj 's cheek was swollen and tainted in red with many scratches and a cut lip.

Loz was the first to speak, not standing this situation. Not even at their evil journey to find Mother had they acted like this. Living as humans definitely was the hardest task they ever had …

" Ridiculous…this is ridiculous. You two fighting because of a man…because of Reno! My God didn't you guys realize that he was the one who needs a smack? I didn´t think to ever see this ugly side of my own brothers… such nonsense! "

" He spanked me, Loz! And shot Reno! Envious, jealous bitch! " , Kadaj hissed, not daring to look at Yazoo.

" You deserved it, you cheated on me first and I shot a couch!", Yazoo hissed back to Kadaj.

" Crazy bitch…" Kadaj hissed in a very low tone.

Loz stood up from the table, hands clinged at his hair and then he pointed a finger at both of his brothers. Cloud and Tifa remained quiet.

" Oh really Yazoo? So mature of you, slapping your baby brother because your lover seduced him?! And then try to kill the guy! Are you insane? Gosh…and you Kadaj ? There's no one else around for your fun games but Reno? Why do you have to have everything that Yazoo has as well?"

" Because HE IS evil! And he always needs to be the most loved, the most cared for, the fucking chosen one! He doesn't care if he'll hurt someone or not! Evil, you're evil Kadaj! I hate you! Don't you ever speak to me again! I hate you! YOU'RE DEAD TO ME! "

Yazoo stood up, crying out and Tifa gently asked the boy to calm down and sit back, but Yazoo shoved her hand away and ran up the stairs, slamming his bedroom door shut. Kadaj cringed and sobbed, the tears rolling down his cheeks. Tifa intended to cuddle the boy but she was quickly forbidden by Cloud's glare. This time, the spiky blond decided that he had had enough of all this mess and warned the boy.

" Go to your room and stay there. Uhn…lock the door, just in case. Now. It's clear to me that you two won't make up, at least for now. And we, the adults here, have to rest. Oh, and you're forbidden to see Reno and you're grounded too. I'll drive you to school. Is that clear?"

Kadaj nodded his head and more tears rolled out of his eyes.

It was night, and Yazoo could not rested. He was looking through the window, forehead leaned against the glass, without focusing on anything in particular. He lowered his eyes to his hands. The dainty white fingers, smooth and well cared for which had slapped his baby brother's face in a fury of jeal ousy, and…envy. Hands and fingers that triggered a gun at the man he said he loved. He didn't come out of the middle of a forest for that. He didn't want to survive to do this with Kadaj. To make Loz feel sad because of him, to abuse Cloud and Tifa's trust and help. Yazoo lifted his hands to his face, to cover his shame and tears. He cried, sincerely feeling sorry. _" I was worse than Kadaj. I betrayed him in a way that I don't know if it can be retributed. Oh god and why? Because of Reno? Because of my grudge? And I said to my baby brother that I hate him…I shot a couch…I'm a monster…"  
_

Yazoo cleaned his tears and walked towards the door to look for Kadaj and when he opened it, a sad, round and red face was there.

" I-I'm so sorry Yazoo…I'm so sorry brother. You aren't an envious bitch…I am." The boy was sobbing and wrapped in a blanket. Yazoo saw his knuckles being white with the strenght he was using to hold the cloth around him.

" Oh Kadaj! Can you forgive me?"

" Oh Yazz…I never wanted to hurt you, p-please don-…don't hate me, don't stop to talk to me! D- d-don't want me dead…."

Kadaj exploded in a dramatic mess of tears and wails, as did Yazoo who grabbed Kadaj against his body and embraced his brother tight, sobbing and begging forgiveness. They were sincerely hurt and regreted for their extreme measures. After a while they sat on the bed, Yazoo still holding Kadaj tight, as if it would make all the bad things fade away.

" Yaz…I want to do one thing, the last one and I need you by my side.."

" Kadaj…you don't have to prove anything to me…I 'm so sorry brother. Beside that, Reno loves you. I asked him to break up with you and he said to me that he couldn't. I I- threatened him and still he said he loves you."

" But every time that I'll see him now, I'll remember our fight and how close we were to not speak with one another for forever… It'll be hard to not see Reno, I can't say that I love him, but I like him very much… but it'll be impossible to live without you my brother, my blood, you are part of me and I'd die without you Yazoo…"

Kadaj broke the embrace and took his phone from his pocket and dialed for Reno. Yazoo, who was now standing in front of him, shook his head and took the phone from Kadaj's hand.

" Kadaj…if you really want to do this, do it at another time. We already saw what impulsivity does with us…I don't need or care for this. I'm so sorry brother."

Yazoo covered his mouth with his hand and muffled a whimper, the tears were rolling down his face again. For someone who rarely cried, he was being a waterfall nowadays.

" Yazoo…Don't cry, please…"

Kadaj threw the phone at the bed and sat beside his brother, leaning his head on Yazoo's chest, sobbing and crying. The middle brother just caressed the younger´s hair and kissed him on his wounded cheek.

" We'll be fine Kadaj… we just need time."

"Do you hate me, brother?"

" I tried hard…but I can't…I love you Kadaj even if you decide to stay with Reno, I won't hate you…I understand you too. I I-was envious…"

" No… you weren't…I was…and I …guess Loz is right…forgive me please?

" I forgive you and you forgive me too?

" Yes I forgive you…please Yaz, love me and don't be apart from me…"

They laid on the bed, embraced, Yazoo was soothing Kadaj's whimpers and tears while the younger brother was doing the same for him. Finally they slept, cuddled in the arms of one another. Loz finished the dishes and glasses and before he went to his room, he checked on his brothers and silently he opened Yazoo's door. Loz sighed and then closed it again.

" Damn brats…"


	16. Back to New Life

Dislcaimer: I don't own FFVII and I don't make any money with this writing.

A/N: Thank you BMIK for betaed this chapter- without you all of this wasn't happening!

Chapter 16 - Back to New Life

"I hope you haven't had dinner yet, I hope you like chicken and I hope your invitation is still available..."

Yazoo bit his lower lip, anxiously waiting for an answer. The tall man in front of the door was staring at him with an expressionless face. After a very unpleasant minute of silence, Yazoo regretted to have knocked on Vincent's door.

"No, yes and… yes."

"And I hope I don´t disturb you."

" Are you poisoned or something?" Vincent asked with a smirk planted on his thin lips, but gesturing for Yazoo to come in.

" Not this time…" Yazoo smiled and entered the house.

First, Yazoo thought that Vincent was with someone. But he was alone at home, a book lay opened on the ground beside a bowl with some apples. The old leather chair that Yazoo had purchased from Mr. Tuesti's store was neatly placed close to the fireplace. The house was as warm as Yazoo's heart, when he finally dropped his bag on the shabby couch. He glanced around and sniggered to himself , wondering about the 'back at home' sensation that he was feeling. They sat at the small table and ate the dinner that Yazoo had bought in town.

Vincent didn't ask why Yazoo had come back, he didn't ask what happened there with his brother and with his lover…Yazoo didn't know, but he knew from Cloud , that Yazoo and Reno had been lovers, that they had broken up and that the boy had left home, hiding himself from the turk's hands till he stranded back here in the middle of nowhere. In the middle of a far away forest, in a lost, run-down house. In the middle of Vincent's reclusive life. Cloud had also said that Yazoo, wouldn't stay in Midgar and he would need Vincent's refuge and help again, though the blond had requested secrecy about it. Vincent understood and agreed. What Vincent didn't understand was why he was so happy to see that pale young face again, standing at his door and asking -almost excusing himself- if he could stay, at least for two nights. They idly spoke about the season's greetings and how cold the weather was and other pleasant, but trivial topics.

Vincent noticed the boy was different. Something had been turned on inside Yazoo. That frail and somewhat helpless, naive person was replaced by another one, much more …mature. The sad look still lingered in those green cat eyes, but now they had a courageous, bright glimmer.

"Vincent, I'll go find a place tomorrow. Do you know where I can find something cheap? Very cheap, actually…"

"Yes."

"Where?"

"Here. Stay here Yazoo."

Yazoo wondered if Cloud had said something to the man, again, though he was ashamed to ask. He really couldn't be rude with Vincent.

"I think I stayed long enough…" He aswered with his eyes cast down to his dish.

"You don't have much money. In case you are too proud, would you feel more comfortable and if you pay me a rent?"

Yazoo had forgotten how stern Vincent could be. However, those red eyes were not bothered by the presence of Yazoo. Yazoo had learned to read Vincent's body language and he could bet, the man was being sincere.

"It's not about being proud…it's…I don't want to take out your space and importune you…more. And I don't know if Mr Tuesti still wants me to work there… technically I'm unemployed."

"Don't worry about this. He liked your help and he let the door open, didn't he?"

" Well…I guess."

Yazoo couldn't tell Vincent that he had no other options but to stay. Well, he had, but he didn't want to stay in Midgar. Or alone. Although he was hurt and sad, the short time that he had been working and living at Forest Fog, was one of the most peaceful in the last years. He felt independent and in control.

"Stay don't bother me at all. I-I mean…only if do you want to live here…And I know you will make it up. You're strong and I cherish you as a good friend."

Vincent shocked himself with the words and his cheeks got as red as his cloak. He felt a pressing urgency to disappear from the table. And a huge fear that Yazoo´d say no. Yazoo's eyes went wide and he felt really touched in a way that he had never felt before. Vincent wanted him to stay because he liked him and cherished their friendship. He liked Yazoo as a person. Not the remnant, the shy brother, the hot piece of ass…whatever the others called him.

"I'll I'll pay for this."

"I'm not really asking for this Yazoo. I look like a monster sometimes but I am not. I know this house is not more than a hut; old, beat-up."

"You're right. And I'll fix it."

Yazoo was so resolute that Vincent stopped to chew on his chicken to watch the young man with a frown. He cleaned his mouth with the napkin and waited. Yazoo said that he´d pay for the hospitality while he was there, fixing the house. After all this was the least he could do for the man who saved his life, got him a job and a home. Paint and wood wouldn't be expensive and it would never pay back what Vincent had done and was still doing for him.

Vincet nodded and for the first time since Yazoo had entered at the house, he smiled. Not a grin or a smirk, but an all teeth smile that made his eyes narrow and his face lighten up. Yazoo thought to himself how beautiful Vincent truly was when he smiled. What he always thought when the raven hair man graced him with this gesture.

"So, how are your brothers?"

"They're fine... I couldn't stay Vincent. I don't belong to that place. At least not anymore."

"I see. Welcome back Yazoo."

"Thank you very much, again. And I didn't forget your old rules…"

" How good."


	17. Months Later End

Disclaime: I don't own FFVII and i don't make mony with this writing.

A/N: Since my dear BMIK are ver busy and I'm a very anxious person, it's not betaed. The same will occurs with the next two chapters. Please accept my apologies for any crazy nonsense of grammar and stuffs. Here I'm *really* ending Reno of Yazoo's life!

Chapter 17 - Months Later- End

Reno woke up with a hungover. When he tried to move his left forearm, a light weight prevented his action.

Kadaj…He was spread in the bed, limbs crossed onto Reno's body. The sheets and covers were messy around them. Kadaj was wearing only the pajama's shirt. The pants were lost at some point of their night games… Reno sighed and carefully; to not awake Kadaj, he got off of the bed. He had a headache and the last thing he wanted was Kadaj talking nonstop on his ears. He walked to the bathroom and then to kitchen. Reno checked the fridge and made a mental note to buy some deli for Kadaj. The breakfast would be taken in a café, as they were usually doing. Suddenly Reno felt a tingle of sorrow. Yazoo always wanted to take breakfast out together at least on Saturdays. He never had done this with him, but he done with Kadaj. He did a lot of things with Kadaj that he never had tried with Yazoo. Pleasantly obliged and not only in bed. If Kadaj demanded ' pistachio ice cream and irish coffe at the fridge or I won't sleep in your place', Reno will get it. If the sassy boy wanted to shopping, watch a movie, play hours at the Golden Sauce, travel to Costa del Sol or whatever bullshit, Reno will follow him._ "It is this shit, do things? It is that what people calls love?" _It wasn't to be mean with Yazoo. Yazoo was always so reserved and self sufficient. Sometimes, Yazoo seemed that he was caring for the things, another times it was as if he was not even interested in this world. Reno tried hard to understand his ex- lover's mind because he feared so much to lose Yazoo and he ended pushing up the boy away. He sat in the small kitchen's table and lit a cigar_. " Shit, Yazoo… what are you doing now ?"_

Yazoo came through the long corridor of the store, he was handling a heavy and fragile pack when his phone rang. As he had his hands occupied, he didn't pick up the phone.

"Hey Yazoo your phone. It could be a client!"

"I know Mr Tuesti…I just need to unpack the lighter."

" Oh! Let me help you. This chandelier is heavy! And frail!"

Mr Tuesti was a nice man. A little uptight and anxious but he was good for Yazoo and the salary was not so bad, considering that Yazoo never had a job and he didn't had any idea about furniture, art pieces and decorations.

But he was ok there. The place was just gorgeous and cozy. The art and history books were a new and welcome distraction for Yazoo, and soon he surprised himself actually enjoying the subject, helping Mr Tuesti in the purchase of objects. Vincent said the job matched with Yazoo. " It suits to you…art, history and delicacy."The young man blushed a little bit when he remembered the words of his friend. When he finally finished his task, he picked up the phone from his tight jeans pocket. " Kadaj? So early on a Saturday morning…"

Reno threw the phone over the cushions in the sofa and sank himself in the chair. _"Surely he would be sleeping…maybe with someone. He's too hot for being alone for so long…" _When the phone rang back with the annoyed eletronic music, Reno almost jumped into the couch to pick up the equipment. The grave voice in the other side of the line made his heart pumped faster.

"Kadaj there is something wrong?"

"No, there is nothing wrong…I just wanted to hear you voice. How are you?"

"Reno?! Uhn…where is Kadaj?"

"Sleeping…Did I wake you up?"

"I'm at work Reno. Why did you call me?" Yazoo couldn't help the harsh voice tone.

"Oh…I'm sorry to…disturb you."

"Ok. So…bye."

Reno didn't know what else to ask or to say; and so, the first thing that came on his dizzy mind was to invite Yazoo to have lunch with him. Surely Yazoo refused it, and after a very uncomfortable silence, Reno was clinging his hair, pacing in the small living room, chosing the words. His voice was a little affected and Yazoo felt he was fighting to say something.

"I'm so sorry for everything. I just wanted you knew this…I'm sorry. I thought about us this morning…and I-I missed you so much…please don't hang up! I have no rights to ask you anything, but please forgive me. Forgive me Yazz…I was an idiot, a piece of shit and I didn't value you as you deserved. I was selfish and I'm truly sorry about what I have done to you. To us."

"Reno, I- I have to go now. We already had spoke over this."

Yazoo felt an ache on his heart. He really forgave Reno but he didn't want contact. He summoned a great amount of strenght to deal with Kadaj, because he was his little brother and always would be a part of his soul. But Reno was other thing.

"Do you hate me Yazoo?"

"No I don't."

"It's suffice for me then...can I call you later to schedule a lunch?"

"Reno…There is no point at see each other. I really have to go now. Goodbye Reno"

"Yazoo... I just want you know that I care a lot for you."

"Thanks Reno and bye. Please don't call me again. You're with Kadaj and I don't want my brother imagining silliness about us. And it's really over Reno. I'm not feeling grudge or anger…It's ok."

Reno managed a faint "ok" and Yazoo hang up the phone. He pulled the phone back at the coffe table and lit another cigar.

_" Fuck…he's dating someone…and why I'm feeling so guilty now?"_

The last of the morning was blurred by the call and when Mr Tuesti dismissed Yazoo and closed the store he was thankful. After finished his last work, he saw Vincent in front of the store. A genuine smile lightened Yazoo's face and he felt his cheeks slighlty blushed. Their relationship changed into many levels after Yazoo had returned. They took care, comforted and pushed each other. Yazoo knew he could count on Vincent. And the same applied for Vincent. Yazoo still shocked himself at how the man could " read" him. He didn't need to talk so much over the things. Over "his" things… Vincent would know. He would feel...

Yazoo told Vincent about Reno's phone call and they spoke over the situation. Not totally openly. Yazoo didn't tell all the mess that gone in Midgar, but just some emotionals parts that sometimes he felt the urgent need to share with Vincent. To his only friend. He found out that talk was good. It was alleviating and he understood why people liked to talk with another over their feelings. Before, living inside his own shell, Yazoo always thought that feelings was something that one's had to deal alone, by yourselves. But now it was different, Yazoo was speaking with Vincent more than he had ever spoke in his entire life..

"How are you feeling?"

"I revenged…and then I've got more hurt than I was…"

"Poisoned…"

"Uhn?"

"Somebody told me, that revenge is like be poisoned. It's the same. People do it in an attempt to feel better and don't be the victim anymore, boiling the same poison that had hurt them in the past. But the antidote is very different."

"Oh really Mr Valentine? And what is this miraculous antidote? Love?"

Yazoo spoke sarcastically, playing with his fork and not enjoying the food as he usually done. _" It's too easy for people judge me, but I really want to see what they would do in my shoes…and hey…is he reading minds? How hell he knows that –boiled the same poison-?! Geez…Did Cloud told him? Oh fuck…"_

Vincent was just staring at Yazoo, he lowered his head and his face was half covered by the red necklace of the cape.

"Forgiveness. Forgive yourself. Nobody is a saint, or a demon. Except me…"

" Vincent…do you…read minds?"

" What a nonsense Yazoo.."

Vincent grinned and changed the subject. Yazoo blinked twice and asked the check. Vincent went to Gongaga to buy the paints and the necessary to fix the house and he was very clear when he said that he was not fond of this kind of task. And pointed out that he was going just to make sure that Yazoo wouldn't make his house looking like Reeve's store; a …Vincent enjoyed Yazoo's presence to make the tasks of the day. More and more, he was taking himself lingering his eyes on Yazoo's eyes, face, body… When he was up to arrive at home, his ears gained a sensibility of a hunter, to detect Yazoo's grave and low voice. It soothed him. It made him felt actually coming home. And it scared the living lights of the raven hair man. Day by day, he was feeling the need to have Yazoo around. One day, he knew the boy would leave, would fing someone or just get bored to live in a forest with a freak old guy.

One afternoon, Yazoo had spent all his lunch time looking for curtains for the house and got distracted. Vincent had told him; any color but red. But all that was found of was the red ones. Finally he found a white courtain for the living, a cream for his room and a black one for Vincent's room. He wanted to make a surprise, as Vincent's room window was 'adorned' with sheets instead of curtains. He was late and Mr Tuesti, even being a good boss, didn't like delays, especially with his store closed.

When he came back and he didn't see his boss around, but the store was open. Yazoo sat on his desk and bit his lower lip, surely expecting a lecture. Thus, his cheeks got pink when he saw a red coat sprayed on the leather antique chair. He smiled and his heart, he didn't know why, warmed with the sight. Well…but it could be from another person. The cape was indeed red, but it was brand new and with less buckles than the older one. He frowned and fearfully, looking at one side to another, Yazoo got the red cape and sniffed it deeply. Vincent was in there somewhere. It was his scent. Undoubtedly. His unique rain-forest scent. He sensed the fabric with his fingers and slightly brushed it on his chin._ " Oh God…this ain't a good sign, first I kicked off Reno and now my heart pumps to see his cape…"_

And as if the cover was made of fire, he dropped it quickly over the chair and sat back at his desk. Vincent came from the inwards of the warehouse cheerfully chatting with Mr Tuesti and with a wide smile he nodded at Yazoo, and approached towards his desk.

"I came earlier."

"Good…welcome home,Vince."

Vincent noticed the very redder cheeks of the young and he himself had to be careful to not look at those huge green eyes longer than the decorum of friendship allowed and to fade out the silly happy smile from his own face.


	18. A guest

Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII and I don't make amoney with this writing.

A/N: Special thanks to BMIK for betaing this chapter and I wish a wonderful 2010 for everyone!

Chapter 18 - A Guest.

Yazoo awakened with the sounds of knocks at the door. He got out of his room and glanced at Vincent's door, which was still closed. He sighed and scratched his eyes, still blurred from the asleep.

" Hmpf…One moment please!"

Not caring to change his purple pajamas, Yazoo went to the living room. The knocks were getting louder as if who was outside was running from the cops. When he opened the door, a gloved hand was still in the air, prepared for the knock that didn't come in time.

" Hey, who the fuck are you? Where's Vinny?"

Yazoo frowned and gulped in disbelief. The question came from a young brunette girl, dressed like a ninja cosplayer: micro shorts, long boots, cape, gloves, a mess in black, white, green and yellow. Not to mention the high and strident voice accompanied by a dirty mouth.

"I'm Yazoo. I'm living here too. Now, who the hell are YOU?" Yazoo planted himself in front of the door, like a human barricade. His green eyes were narrowed, two sharp knives glaring at the girl and his patience, due to the harsh manner he had been awaken with, was as thin as a spiderweb.

"Yuffie. Where is Vinny, yo?" The girl, who seemed to know no fear or shame, had pushed Yazoo aside with her body, and went inside the house, calling for Vincent in an even louder voice.

"Hey, it's different here! VINNY! Where the fuck are you man?"

"He's still sleeping! Don't shout! What is your problem, do you have no manners?"

Yazoo was in a really bad mood and his true desire was to grab the girl's arm and throw her out through the door. But the girl was already pacing around the house, scrutinizing the place with her alert brown eyes. She stopped in front of the table, where a bowl with apples was neatly placed and picked up a fruit. She was carrying a duffel bag, which looked heavy and stuffed.

"Sleeping hun? I will put Vinny up, man…"

The girl bit the apple and winked at Yazoo. She stepped forward to Vincent's room, and by her behavior, very comfortable walking around the house, Yazoo presumed she was not a new guest in there. The silver haired young man was so taken aback with the awkward situation, that he followed the girl as she unceremoniously entered Vincent's room. Yazoo still protested with a shake of his head but he was speechless. The ninja girl was so confident about what she was doing, that Yazoo got almost scared by her. Or rather: by what she was about to do. She tilted her head to Yazoo, winked again and gave him a mischievous smile before slamming the door shut in front of his face. Yazoo narrowed his eyes, bit his lips and went to his room, after some seconds. He had to work and he was getting late. While he was dressing himself, he tried hard to catch any sound from Vincent's room, but nothing was perceived. _"Who is this crazy girl? A friend, a relative? No, if she was a relative, she would have said immediately. I will knock on that door before I go to work. I know he's totally capable of defending himself if necessary. Shit, I'm late.!"_

Yazoo finished to dress and walked towards his friend's room to do what he had planned when Vincent's door was suddenly opened and a very disturbing sight unfolded before him: Vincent was smiling and toying with Yuffie's duffel bag of materia. They were laughing and passed by Yazoo, running to the living room. The silver haired youth noticed the bare feet of the girl, the lack of her coat and of the unbuttoned Vincent's shirt.

_" He is enjoying her company...I never saw him acting like this with no one! She's definitly close to him..."_

They barely noticed Yazoo, standing in the corridor and when Vincent did, he stopped his laughings and formally introduced Yazoo to Yuffie. Vincent cast down his eyes as if he was ashamed of his so light-hearted behavior with the girl. Yazoo sensed his tension, but he himself was not feeling less uncomfortable with the 'guest'.

" We already met." Yazoo's dry answer was followed by the sarcastic smirk of the girl.

" I thought he was an invader and I was rude to him! Hey, my bad, Ozy."

" Yazoo."

Yuffie giggled again and jumped onto Vincent to catch her bag, causing both she and Vincent to stumble in the couch. Yazoo shook his head and after a faint goodbye, which was answered back only by Vincent, and he went to work. He was feeling ridiculously stupid and jealous..

_"Gosh…I thought Vincent would pick up better girls to be his friend…he is too discreet and polite for someone like…this ninja project of woman…and how old is this girl anyway? Barely legal if she is legal…Oh Fuck…it means…he is not gay and I was silly, idealizing a relation with a straight guy…God I'm such an idiot… She's a lover? They are...by now... I hope Vincent doesn't get mad with me. A lover?! A lover…sure. Straight guys date girls. She's a lover. And I'm the most stupid fag in the fucking world!"_


	19. Gay?

Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII and I don't make money with this writing.

A/N- Thanks again beloved BMIK for the beta! Chaos voice was marked in bold letters.

Chapter 19 - Gay?

" Yazoo...you are very distracted today. Are you feeling well?"

Reeve Tuesti, although a very discreet man, had to say something after his employee almost had broken two vases. Yazoo was acting as if he was on auto pilot. One in a slow motion.

" Yes, I- I'm sorry Mr Tuesti…I didn't sleep very well, but I will have a coffee."

" Ok, you can do the papers. We have some boxes to tag before my trip. If we can hurry with our tasks, we can close earlier. I'm really tired today and so are you."

Yazoo couldn't help the feeling of frustation because Vincent was straight. He was sad. The knowledge that he was feeling more and more attracted by Vincent and the subtle attitudes from the man, though not conclusive, made Yazoo fantasize over them. Fantasies that he thought would never happen._" Why am I always falling in love with impossible men? Reno loves Kadaj, Vincent likes girls. Damn…At least I hope that wanna be ninja makes him happy…"_

The hours passed sluggishly and after Yazoo had put all the tags at all the boxes that Mr Tuesti gave to him, he sank on his chair and wondered where he would spend the night. He didn't want to come back to the house, he felt ashamed and surely Vincent would want some privacy. The 'wanna be ninja' looked very…cheerful. The good news that he was free to go home, was received with a faint smile, when Mr Tuesti asked him to close the store and came with their usual cup of tea of the evening. Yazoo locked the door and closed the red velvet curtains before the window, blocking the view off the street. If it remained open, clients would likely try to enter the store.

" Mr Tuesti, do you know where I can find a cheap hotel?" Yazoo asked while he was finishing his task.

" Oh, now that it's the high season, nothing is cheap in this town…Is it for a friend?"

" No. It's for me."

" Oh." The man startled a little, but didn't push the subject. He served himself and Yazoo with the tea, already displayed at the coffee table. " You can spend the night here Yazoo, if you don't mind sleeping in the office. The couch is very comfortable."

" Are you sure? I don't want to bother you." Yazoo's cheeks got redder but he couldn´t really afford to spent the night in a hotel room either. He was embarassed but he would accept.

" I'm sure. But…May I ask you a private question?" Reeve politely asked, sat on the plushy couch and waved at Yazoo to do the same from the opposite sofa. " Is there something wrong Yazoo?"

Yazoo noticed that Mr Tuesti was problably thinking that he had fought with his friend and he promptly aswered the man. Yazoo would never do anything to blurr Vincent's image or give any space for misunderstandings.

" No Mr Tuesti…Vincent has company and I want to give him some privacy." Yazoo thought to ask about Yuffie, just to satisfy his curiosity, but he did not. It would be very impolite to ask his boss about the sexual life of his friend, so he lowered his eyes and sipped his tea.

" Oh…I see." Now it was Reeve who blushed. " Well, this came to be very favorable, because you can check the pieces early in the morning and leave for your home before lunch. I'm planning to travel in the morning."

" Thank you." Yazoo sadly thought if he would be able to go home early to find Vincent and his girlfriend. He shook his head to clear his thoughts about Vincent kissing that girl and smiling at her with lustfilled eyes. Yazoo sighed a little bit higher and Mr Tuesti glanced at him, but remained silent.

After a delivery dinner and Mr Tuesti's cheerful speech about his next trip, the dark hair man went to his room and Yazoo went down the stairs to the office. The couch was really nice and though he was thoughtful about his loneliness and the discovery that Vincent had a girlfriend, Yazoo was worn-out and soon he fell asleep. It was close to nine o'clock. Hours later, Yazoo opened his eyes wearily and he noticed a dim light which passed under the closed office door. Something happened. He heard Mr Tuesti's voice and someone else.

He was ready to stand up to check what was going on when the door suddenly was opened. Yazoo startled and almost shouted in shock.

"You almost killed me! Why didn't you call?" Vincent eyes were red and his face had so many expressions that it was not easy to describe which one was domineering. Yazoo stared at him without words. First he thought it was a dream, then he realized that it was not; he was awake and Vincent was standing in front of him with glowing red eyes and a pale face. His figure reminded Yazoo of their first encounter.

" I- I…" Yazoo's words died inside his throat, because Vincent stepped towards him and embraced him tightly. Yazoo was so amazed and happy that he could not even lift his arms to join the embrace. Vincent took it as a rejection and broke the hold, feeling ashamed and invasive with his action. But instead, Yazoo was shaking inside and he felt that his limbs would give up…_"God he embraced me, he is HERE!?"_

" I was worried and Yuffie told me about a bike accident near the road. The guy was blond with long hair. They couldn't find any ID. And your cell phone was off. So I called Reeve and he said that you were here. I'm sorry and I'm leaving now." Vincent stepped to the door in a desperate attempt to hide his face fromYazoo, after he noticed that his friend was only dressed in his tank top and his underwear.

" I thought you needed some privacy. So I stayed here to not bother you." Yazoo said and slightly touched the man's shoulder, pulling out his hand quickly when Vincent flinched under his touch.

" Why did you think that? Because of Yuffie?" Vincent tilted his head to the side, but remained with his back turned at Yazoo. Oddly, the hand Chaos controlled began to tingle_. " Oh God no…not here."_

" Well, yes. She was so…close to you." Yazoo felt as if his face would burn.

" Yes we are. I'm very close to her family in Wutai and I have known Yuffie since she was a child."

" That's why I wanted for you to have the house tonight." Yazoo blushed and thanked God for the dim light inside the room. _" They are not only lovers maybe she is his future wife…Oh God I want to run, to shout and to cry!"_

" Yazoo, she's my friend, almost like a baby sister. Not a lover. And I'm sorry about her manners, she can be cocky sometimes…" Vincent broke into an amused smile as he remembered Yuffie's face she made at Yazoo and somehow, he was wondering if Yazoo was jealous. But certainly he couldn´t be, he was just being polite and friendly as always.

" I will let you rest. See you tomorrow." Vincent began to walk out of the office, but Yazoo's hand resting again on his shoulder made him shiver.

" Where are you going? It's late. " _"Oh God I touched him again! Stop this Yazoo! Don't touch him, don't touch him!"_

" I will stay upstairs. Reeve has a very good taste for comfortable couches. I just came by to see if you were ok." _"Oh God… don't touch me, don't touch us…"_

Yazoo smiled at Vincent and they said good night to each other. Before Vincent was out through the door, Yazoo called him and, not caring any more about what his friend would think, he stepped towards Vincent and embraced him. He felt Vincent's strong chest and the inebriated scent of the man with his eyes closed, his nose close to the nape of Vincent's neck. He thought that perhaps Vincent would be scared that Yazoo was holding him like someone who wanted to jump in his lap –which, in all actuality, was the truth- so he tapped Vincent's back in typical male gesture of friendship._" I'm too gay to fake a macho guy, but I have to try to not lose my only friend…"_

" Sorry man and thank you again for caring about me… I just thought that you would have a great time with a girl, and as I never saw you with no one, I felt that I had no right to importunate you. Thank you, nobody did that for me before."

The words flew out through Yazoo's mouth but he didn't break the embrace. He listened to the soft breathe of Vincent and felt the warmth of his body. Yazoo was sure that he would be pushed away at any second, so he sniffed to keep Vincent's scent in his nose one more time. However, Vincent raised his hand and touched Yazoo's chin, breaking the embrace but still he was close enough to the young man.

" I had a great time when I found you safe here…You never importune me Yazoo." Vincent smiled and Yazoo felt an ache in his heart and the huge need to kiss Vincent. He smiled at the man and waited. If Vincent wanted something more than fraternal care, he would need to show it. Yazoo would not dare to risk their friendship with an impulsive act from his part._" Shit…if you knew how much I want to kiss you…you would not dare to touch me…damn straight Vincent…"_

Vincent stared into those huge green eyes as if he would dive inside them. He wanted to hold Yazoo so much more, to feel his body against him, to touch his skin. But it couldn´t be. The state was clear. Yazoo had managed to sleep away from home for Vincent to have fun with a possible lover. Typical male friendship. But why was he expecting more than this? Why did he feel that 'need' to have this young…male? Lately, he was questioning himself about his favored gender. That was a concern that Vincent had never had before. Until he met Yazoo. Until he had fallen in love with the silver haired young man. _" I could kiss him and he could punch me. Would he kiss me back? OH no Chaos, please don't, please don't, PLEASE…."_

"Vincent, your…eyes are…flaming? And your arm is…blue?! Ouch!" Yazoo gasped for air when he noticed that Vincent was holding him by his waist with a painful grip, closing the distance between them. Vincent sensed the astonishment of his friend and quickly he released Yazoo's waist and covered his left arm with part of the cape. He was mortally ashamed. He hadn´t even noticed that his arm had moved and his hand was resting on Yazoo's lean waist. _" Shit, shit, SHIT! NO!" _**_" Yesss."_**

" I-I'm sorry … Did I hurt you? I was so worried and I forgot to put on the claw when I flew to get here. Good night Yazoo.." Vincent stepped back and ran to the stairs.

" N-no…I'm fine. Good night Vince. See you in the morning or at home." Yazoo replied back with his hand pressing his aching waist. But Vincent didn´t even listen to him, so fast he vanished. _" Why did he touched me like that? Was he upset because I hugged him? Was it a warning to never touch him again? But…if it was a warning, so why did he touch me? Why would he give a warning to not touch him by putting me close to him? Oh God…I can't understand his attitudes…I am going to be nuts, lost in impossible fantasies! And alone again. Oh shit…this was a warning: I should never touch this man again. Never!"_

Vincent almost jumped the steps of the ladder and hurried to Reeve's bathroom. He closed the door. He was panting to fill his lungs with air enough to stop the burning sensations inside his body._" My…God…I didn´t expect that…Chaos controlled my hand?" _

He washed his face twice, took off his cape and boots and lay down on the couch in the living room. It was not only Vincent who was feeling a deep desire for Yazoo…Chaos wanted the silver haired young man. Badly…_" If I didn't have control, I would hurt Yazoo, or Chaos would…God I have to stop these silly thoughts, I have to stop to…want him…"_

**_"I won't hurt him…this I can promise you."_** The voice inside his mind, so well known made Vincent jump off the couch. It had been a long time since he last had heard it so clearly. But it was not the usual threat to need to fight. It was more like a soothing assurance that made Vincent suspicious of its intention.**_" I like him…He doesn't fear me. He is sweet…smells good…he's soft…beautiful. Much more than her…than anyone that you ever had…I want him as much as you want…I need him Vincent. _****_No blood, no hurt."  
_**

Vincent sat in the couch and used all his strenght to hold Chaos back and put himself back in control, but it was not necessary. As fast as the demon's voice had come to him, it vanished. No wounds, no pain, nothing. The feeling was of peace and Vincent was thrilled and worried; he couldn't fight against the deep sleep that came to him. In the morning, very early, Vincent awakened and when he climbed down the stairs, he found Reeve finishing his pack for the trip.

" You don't look like a rested man?"

" That is because I'm not one."

Reeve smirked and offered Vincent a cup of hot coffee. He had dark circles around his eyes.

" It will help to wake you up. Yazoo still sleeps."

Vincent just glanced at his friend and drank the coffee. When he finished it, he placed the cup on the coffee table and took his cape.

" I wish you good business and thank you my friend. Sorry for the inconvenience last night."

" Vincent, we are friends…I just was…surprised because of your worries for Yazoo. I had never seen you so concerned over someone.."

" I told you Yuffie told me about the accident…"

Vincent felt his face burn at Reeve's comment. His old friend was a very attentive man, especially when the subject was about feelings. He was a poet, a man of the arts and surely he had seen more in Vincent's behavior than the man was claiming. However the raven haired man was not in the mood to give any explanations about his actions last night, and he said goodbye to his friend with a hug and walked forward the door.

" Vincent Valentine…If I didn't know you…Well, actually nobody knows the mysterious reasons of the soul…The poets and the popular believes say that it takes just one look and you are done. We know exactly, as soon we see the object of our love, that we're in love."

" Why are you saying this Reeve?" Vincent was shocked by Reeve's innuendo. Was he so obvious that even his friend noticed it?

" I'm just saying…" Reeve stopped to talk when he saw that Yazoo was coming to the office.

" That we should follow the tip when it comes to us." Reeve blinked at a taken aback Vincent.


	20. Kadaj Strikes Again

Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII and I don't make money with this writing.

A/N: Thanks for my dear BMIK for the beta!

Chapter 20 - Kadaj Strikes Again

Yazoo looked over his shoulder at Kadaj, who was standing on the porch, with the paint brush in one hand and the other on his slender waist. Kadaj dropped the paint brush in the paint can and studied his image mirrored in the window's watched , closely, silently to not appear for the boy, while he painted the old chairs of the house. Suddenly, Kadaj complained about the hot summer day and pulling his shirt over his head, revealing the perfect, pale skin and the taut muscles of his teen body. He was so beautiful , his baby brother, thought Yazoo. _"Would I have a chance to compete with his beauty and youth? Never…That's why Reno chose Kadaj…"_

"It's not a good time Kadaj…the mosquitos will bite you." Yazoo said in a lower tone, not looking at Kadaj.

"No, they won't. I have tons of lotion on my skin." Kadaj said, as he was mesmerized by himself in the reflecting glass.

"Humm."

A few seconds later, Yazoo found out why Kadaj was exhibiting his bare, oiled torso. Vincent was coming from inside of the house to the porch. The raven haired man leaned on the door-post, crossed his arms and glanced at Kadaj, not appearing very interested but still he was polite.

"Hey, if I was you I'd put this shirt back on. Now is the mosquito's time."

" I told him Vincent." Yazoo felt oddly embarassed by Kadaj's behavior and he fought against old feelings of anger.

"I had anti-mosquito lotion and…I'm hot, Mr Valentine." Kadaj said while he stretched his arms up, not breaking eye contact with Vincent. He was sure the man was watching his body motions.

"We have lemonade inside. Make yourself comfortable."

Kadaj purred a " thank you Mr Valentine" and walked towards Vincent, swaying like a cat, to enter the house. In the threshold he purposely leaned forward and brushed his chest against Vincent, who was smacked against the door jamb while he looked at Yazoo with an amazed was angry at the totally shameless chat up of the just smiled and gave his usual little "humpf".

"That is Kadaj…Always trying to win…"

"What?" Vincent frowned at Yazoo, not getting the point of what his friend was saying.

"My brother has the necessity to stroke his ego…I hope he is not bothering you."

" Hell yes, he is. Ask him to stop this or I will. Sorry Yazoo, but it is not the first time."

Vincent didn't like the looks Kadaj gave him, the supposedly sensual voice the boy usually used while he spoke with him. And worse, the open attempts to touch Vincent's body.

"What happened Vincent?"

Yazoo stopped his task to pay attention to Vincent. He felt as if he finally had lost his inner battle against the anger. _"Another guy will be caught in Kadaj's net. Fuck…I can't deal with this shit again! First Vincent will pretend he was not liking Kadaj's chatter but later he will ask me if there is any problem to succumb the temptation that is Kadaj…And that alien plague had said that I WAS THE ALLURING ONE…Big mistake of hers…I won't say a word. I won't move a finger about this. Vincent is my friend, he is not my lover and I have nothing to do with his life. Or with who Kadaj will cheat on the bastard Reno. Perhaps Vincent is gay, he's just not feeling attracted to me. The wanna be ninja is just a friend, not a lover. Perhaps he had hugged me and then, he regreted it and pushed me with his claw. That touch was a warning. And I'm so idiot, silly wondering if Vincent had feelings over me. He only likes me as a friend. Fuck! I just need to keep his friendship, the only friend that I have, I'm not as good or pretty as Kadaj to make him fall in love with me… I'm ok, I'm ok, I'm ok…"_

"At the 7th Heaven. He stroked my leg with his hands under the table at Marlene's birthday. Oh and that awful part, staring at me while he was sucking his fingers smeared with cake's topping!" Vincent shook his head to get the image out of his mind and made a grimace, contorting his mouth in despise.

" I'm ok…" Yazoo didn't noticed he had said his mental mantra aloud.

" What? Did you hear what I said ?"

Yazoo gave a faint smirk and glanced at him and then to the house, where Kadaj was, drinking his lemonade with an annoyed face. In his heart he felt that Vincent's disgust for his baby brother's behavior was something good. It reassured Yazoo, one more time, that Vincent was a honest and good man. At least he was showing this now. The other part of his heart was something he was trying to hide, because he didn't want to feel betrayed again by Kadaj or by his suspicious thoughts about Vincent. Thoughts that could harm their so cared for friendship. Vincent deserved an explanation about his brother's attempts to call attention. Actually, Kadaj was not a bad boy, he was just…lost maybe. And excessively vain and selfish and spoiled by Loz and Yazoo, himself.

"Vince?" Yazoo said with lowered eyes, as to not show Vincent his discomfort to speak about this subject.

Vincent really liked when Yazoo called him that. No one called him Vince. Not even Cloud or Tifa, his best and oldest friends. But since the first time, when Yazoo called him "Vince", it had felt so right. He felt close with Yazoo. In fact he was so bounded to that young silver haired man that he couldn't imagine himself not in contact with him. He almost regreted to have talked about Yazoo's brother, afraid to hurt his friend's feelings.

"I'm sorry Yazoo. He is your younger brother and I don't have the right. My apologies."

"That is ok. I'm not upset. He was really doing this. I saw it. I will talk to him."

" No, please. I don't want to see you fighting with your brother. Just let it go. It doesn't matter."

"I won't. Because this behavior has nothing to do with you. It's about me Vince. He wants to win again. He is only doing this with you, because he is thinking…because you are my friend. He has done this before."

Kadaj was coming from inside and the conversation was finished. Not wanting to waste an opportunity like that, Vincent quickly and a little harshly asked Yazoo something that he had been wondering about for a while, but was unsure on how to ask. First, because Yazoo never spoke about it and second, because he knew it was not his business.

"Did he do this with your ex-lover? The turk?"

Kadaj appeared all refreshed at the door and again tried to collide with Vincent. But Vincent was faster and left the door, not breaking eye contact with Yazoo, who just nodded and cast down his eyes to the ground.

"SoYaz, did you finish the chairs? I 'm a little hungry...Do you want me to buy lunch for us? I can go with Mr Valentine."

" I'm busy." Vincent's dry answer took Kadaj by surprise. Having said that, the man disappeared inside the house.

Yazoo reached the can of paint and sank the brush on it. He seemed irritaded but controlled himself. He glared at Kadaj and the boy's face got a little red. Kadaj knew, in a way, that Yazoo would lecture him. He motioned to leave the porch and get inside the house, to look for Vincent. But Yazoo's voice stopped him.

"Kadaj, don't you embarrass this man with your stupid little games."

"W-what are you talking about Yazoo? "

"You know Kadaj. I'm not like you, I'm not so beautiful, popular or loved and I only have this friend. So stop that!"

Kadaj sat at the porch, beside Yazoo. He was getting afraid, because Kadaj hadn´t forgotten their last fight. To Kadaj all the things with Reno had gone away, but Yazoo was not as complacent as he was. His brother was a wonderful person and he felt a strong love, but Yazoo was also resentful. He never let things go as Loz did, or even Kadaj himself.

"Yazoo you're loved and handsome. Everyone always looks at you when we enter at some place. They might even find you funny perhaps, if you learn some jokes and be more talkative…"

"Kadaj! What I'm trying to say is this: Vincent is my friend, not my lover and you don't " have" to seduce him, like he was something that you'll have to win from me again!"

"OH! I knew it! You're still mad with me because of Reno after all this time! I told you I'm not living with him anymore!"

"I was not angry, Kadaj. I was hurt! Hurt! And I'm not anymore, don't worry…"

"Why are we talking about this Yazoo? Are you jealous about Reno? Or Mr Valentine?"

"I'm not jealous of any of them. Why are you trying to flirt with Mr Valentine when you're with Reno?"

Kadaj frowned and lowered his head to his knees. Yazoo softened his tone and stroked his brother's silky hair.

"Kadaj…I'm not mad at you. Just listen to me and put in your head that you don't need to be envioius of anything from anyone. You're unique and loved by me, Loz, Cloud, Tifa, your friends and by Reno."

"Not Reno."

"Oh Kadaj, don't say this. I- I don't want to talk about this again, but you know very well who was the chosen one here."

"He doesn't want me there. One day, he was drunk and got mad, broke all the house and the frames with your photos. I got scared and called Cloud to pick me up. Reno said to me that was a well done attitude. I must went home with Cloud and he must find you and bring you back. It happened soon after you had , after you had returned, to live here far away from me, he said to me that I shouldn't be there for a while, because he was pissed off and sad, and every time he looked at me, he saw you. I got my punishment Yazoo…Reno doesn't love me as much as you are thinking. It was a crush and like all crushes, it had gone away. So technically I'm free."

"But you're still together aren't you?You have the ring!" Yazoo frowned and cursed himself mentally to have asked this question.

" It's my ring, not our! I don't know…I see him at least two times a week, but I don't think we're dating seriously as…boyfriends…"

Yazoo stiffened and embraced his legs. _" They are still dating…why did I have to ask? I don't want to know nothing related to Reno and Kadaj! God I'm such a masochist!"_

"You left us and it was what happened Yazoo. It was awkward, to not have you to pack my things, make my lunch, take care of me. But that's ok now. Tifa is doing this for me, but I miss you… what I really feared most is losing you. I'm really not caring about Reno…"

"Oh brother. I'm here. And always will be by your side. " Yazoo felt sad and he wanted to cry until his reason alerted him about what was going on.

"Why don't you come back to Midgar, Yaz?"

One of the things Kadaj did best was emotional manipulation. He wanted badly for Yazoo to be by his side and during the last months he was working hard on it. Tearful phone calls, all possible tantrums that Kadaj knew would affect Yazoo.

"Because I need a life Kadaj. Everybody there has a life. You, Reno, Loz. I was the only one living my life through you. And this was killing me inside."

Yazoo's words got Kadaj in a mix of regret, sorrow, self pity and of course, selfishness as a spoiled child as he was. After some mintes of silence. The boy returned his assault over Yazoo's always present; guilty feelings.

"Are you happy now?" With a sad face, Kadaj realized that Yazoo would not come back. At least not now.

"Yes." Yazoo wanted to be more cheerful in his answer, but the bad feelings to have lost Reno was crossing his heart.

"Do you like Mr Valentine?" Kadaj leaned his shoulder against Yazoo's, slightly pushing him aside with a smirk.

"As a friend."

"Do you …"date" him?"

"No Kadaj! I do not even know if he is gay!"

"Do you mind if I try to discover it myself ?"

Yazoo sighed heavily and took his brother's chin in his hands, looking straight in the boy's eyes. He advised Kadaj that if he would do this to hurt Vincent, he will never speak to him again. Kadaj seriously nodded atYazoo's words and after a while, he stood up, pulled his shirt back on and entered the house. Minutes later he came back with Tifa and they went to town to buy lunch. He didn't say a word, but all that air over Vincent had gone. Vincent didn't ask Yazoo what they had talked about either. He was a very discreet and respectful person, thought Yazoo. He just nodded and Yazoo nodded back with a smile, when the red eyed man approached the porch with a lemonade glass for him. The rest of the day was calm and rank. They painted the backyard, the walls and the windows were fixed. Yazoo finished the chairs. He thought about white, but he changed his mind. Red was a good color. Fits Vincent's cape. And his eyes.


	21. Move Out

Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII and I don't make money with this writing.

Again many thanks for the awe BMIK for beta this chapter!

Chapter 21- Move Out

The experience in Reeve's store was burned in Vincent's mind like hot iron. The sensation of Yazoo's skin, so smooth and warm, touched by his demonic hand, even blurred by fear and shame, was a sweet prize for his fantasies in his dark room. Though, neither men touched the subject, Yazoo had changed around him and Vincent felt disappointed with himself because of that. Lately, Yazoo was quieter than usual. His temper reminded Vincent of their early days of living together. They had dinner, politely chatted over amenities and then the silver haired boy said good night and locked himself in his room. He was sure that Yazoo got puzzled with his behavior.

Vincent knew and felt that Yazoo was a loyal friend and this was enough for Vincent. He had experienced so much deceptions in his life; simply knowing that he could count on someone was good. His admiration and passion for Yazoo would be platonic and Vincent also decided it was good this way. Though, he did miss the quiet and warm presence of his young friend very much... He was feeling so afraid to have hurt Yazoo's feelings that he was as mute as the young man. Vincent Valentine encased himself in his shell again. He didn't know how to act any other way, so he kept his thoughts to himself. _"Yazoo is so young, so beautiful, with so much time in his life to discover new lovers and adventures…He would not want someone like me around him. And worse, he's afraid of me. I made him fear me."_

These was the sad and resigned thoughts of the man. He judged himself imperfect for Yazoo. A half man or a half beast, not complete, not healthy, not …lovable.

Vincent tried hard to not betray himself, to not speak very close to Yazoo and to not touch him again. He was afraid of Chaos, of himself, of his growing sense of passion for the young man. Sometimes he dreamed of Yazoo. Lustful dreams with the hand of Chaos, exploring the young flesh, travelling over Yazoo's body, to places that his hand in that fatidical night, couldn't touch. And when he woke up he was always trembling with desire and, most of all, fear.

One night, weeks after the store's occurance, Yazoo came earlier from work, as well as Vincent from Cosmo Canyon. Vincent sensed that something was bothering his friend. The young man had a worried expression and his eyes were anxious, as if they were trying to hide something very deep inside them. It was not only fear of what Vincent would do or had done. Those green eyes looked afraid of something that Vincent didn't comprehend or didn't remember. He had an odd feeling pulsing in his chest every time he glanced at Yazoo. They sat on the table for dinner as usual, ate in silence and after that Yazoo invited Vincent for a walk around the forest.

The raven haired man began to prepare a good explanation inside his mind for Yazoo due to what had happened at Reeve's store. And he was so unable to deal with words to explain feelings or to explain himself to someone. He would need to tell about Chaos, to soothe Yazoo about his...not so human side… However, the young man was too precious for Vincent to be left alone with a strange and maybe bad idea of Vincent's own inner demons. Or rather: one demon and one man mingled into someone who was in love with him. So, a stroll around the forest was favorable for a good talk, indeed. It was a very cold night but it was not snowing, the sky was clear and the trees were shining under the pale light of the moon and the odd luminescence of the forest plants. They walked side by side in silence for a while and Vincent was feeling as nervous as a teenager, that he left the task of leading a dialogue to Yazoo. If Yazoo had questions or answers, Vincent would listen to everything, clarify what he could to erase any misunderstanding between them.

"Vincent, I will move to the town. I found a place near Reeve's store and it's affordable for me. You helped me a lot and now it's time to let you have your life and move on with mine. The house is done and please consider it a gift, not a payment because there is nothing in this world that could pay for what you have done for me."

Yazoo's voice was deeper and he spoke while they were walking. He didn´t even take a breath during his whole speech. When he finished, Yazoo felt his lungs burning with need for air and his face was redder and hot, even in the cold air of the night. He was clenching his fists so tightly that his knuckles were white. Vincent almost choked. He felt his breath hitch, his heartbeat was pumping on his ears. The words " I will move to the town" were reverberating in his mind.

As the silence between them was becoming more and more uncomfortable, Yazoo stopped the stroll and turned his body to look at Vincent's face. Nothing. The man's face was a blank mask. "_Not even a frown or a single demonstration of emotion. Expressionless. He's not surprised or sad. I guess he wanted this, more than I was thinking. At least it will be easier to leave him and keep his friendship while there is still time.."  
_

"I would love it if we could keep in contact. You are my best and only friend Vincent."

Vincent couldn't say a word. Even though he imagined it would happen as a natural course of their lives, he thought the day that Yazoo would move out was far away in the future. He was not prepared for the real deal. Reality kicked him badly. He thought about begging for Yazoo not to move out, not…leave him. The awareness that he must say something for the pair of narrowed eyes in front of him, took Vincent out of his thoughts.

" When are you planning to go?"

" Oh…I-I… After Christmas, I guess." _" Please don't let me go, don't let me go!"_

Vincent remained quiet for some minutes, trying to calm down. On other hand Yazoo was wondering if Vincent would convince him again to change his mind.

" Why Yazoo? It was because of that night at Reeve's?"

" No, no Vincent. I understood you. And since the house is done, I'm working and I can rent a place, well, it's time to settle my life."

" Did I upset you? Did I hurt you in any way that I don't know?

" No, Vincent. You never hurt me. It's just…just the right time to leave."

_" I am just in love with you and I can't stay by your side because of that!" _Yazoo almost sobbed with his inner thoughts. That was the truth.

" I understand you."

Yazoo silently begged for Vincent to say something more than that, to stop him from moving out, to say that he was needed, to say…and express the same affection that Yazoo was having by him. But again, the evasive mumbling that all of his posture was giving reassured Yazoo that he was right: Vincent was relieved. Slowly they turned on the path to return home in silence. Vincent didn't show Yazoo how sad and bitter he was feeling but if his friend wanted to move, he wouldn't be in the way. _" Perhaps Yazoo found a lover and living here in the middle of a forest with a man like me is not helping him to make it. I don't have the right to make him back out from his plans."_

Before they stepped on the threshold, Yazoo backed away and slightly touched Vincent's shoulder with a trembling hand.

" You still are my friend, aren´t you Vincent?"

" Off course I am Yazoo. Let's get inside, it's cold outside."

" If you need me to stay more because of…any …commitments or anything, we can work on a date for my departure."

" It's not necessary. You can keep your schedule."

Vincent sternely answered without looking in Yazoo's eyes and entered the house, both men going straight to their rooms. Vincent stopped at his door and tilted his head to Yazoo, who was holding the knob, already prepared to go inside his room and cry until finally falling asleep.

" Yazoo…I hope you find soon a good place. And…you can count on me."

" Thanks Vincent. I know I can." The young man returned the faint smile he had been given from Vincent, lowered his head and closed his door.

Vincent entered his room, dropped the clad on the drawer and sat on the edge of the bed. He crossed his eyes over the place and played with the tip of the curtain's fabric, hanging before the window. Yazoo had done it. He had spent years living in an uncomfortable shelter and Yazoo, in such a short time had turned it into a home. All the small things that Yazoo changed or purchased had warmed his life. It would be hard to live without the silver haired, young presence by his side. Indeed, Yazoo's presence was entirely around the house. Inside Vincent's mind. Inside his heart. Vincent felt as if, again, he had lost the opportunity to share his life with someone. Not only share, because he never was fond of letting people come in. But Yazoo was different. He showed another side of friendship, a side that Vincent got addicted to because it was good to have. Yazoo had showed possibilities for a man lost in his own world. Again the loneliness was taking its place in Vincent's life. Vincent had never cried since his human part had died, years ago in those labs' basements, but that night he felt as if he was doing this for the first time. Not with tears but with a heavy feeling of sorrow in his chest.

In the darkness of his room, Yazoo replayed the last events of his life so far. When Yazoo had left Midgar, he felt like a remnant of himself. He just wanted to run, away from Reno, from Kadaj and away from his own pain. Though, what he most wanted was to find himself. Yazoo always had the impression that people saw him as a weak person. Frail, lost, unable to deal with the world outside. Vincent had given Yazoo a shelter. Today, he had more than that. Yazoo had a home, friendship, respect, support in ways he couldn't describe.

It was not that his brothers didn't make him feel save or respected. Yazoo felt as if he was as a kind of third part from Loz and Kadaj. Exactly as the alien plague described them once in Kadaj's head; a part of her perfect vessel Sephiroth, the one for who they were actually existing in this world. Just that, nothing more. But Yazoo always knew he had his own thoughts, feelings and needs to be filled. He was a person, another being with desires, as ordinary a human as any other person. Vincent Valentine helped him to see himself.

One year had passed since Yazoo had arrived, wounded not only on his body. Finally he had done something good with his life. He was proud of himself with the way he had handled all the commotion with Reno, his brothers and his inner feelings of defeat. Yazoo was at peace with part of himself. The other part was fighting every day to overwhelm a growing sense of admiration and affection for Vincent. It scared the silver haired young man.

Since Reno, no one had caught his attention. And Yazoo swore to himself that he would never fall in love again. He didn't want to be hurt, to be sad and to be at the mercy of another. His rational mind was trying to think that it was just his loneliness, pushing him into feelings that perhaps he was not actually having. For Yazoo, to love someone was the same as to be hurt and end up alone.

Though, after a whole day by Vincent's side, Yazoo was catching himself smelling his own clothes, sensing with deep inhalations Vincent's scent of iron, and what Yazoo secretly called rain-forest. The scent, which filled all the place when Vincent was home, always made Yazoo feel comfortable, protected from any bad thought or any threat and, despite all the shame, he felt hot inside. But nothing in his manners showed this to the raven hair man.

The weirdness of Vincent's touch on him at Reeve's store had prevented Yazoo from pushing any other button besides friendship or even to bring the subject up. He noticed how Vincent was being distant with him. The fear to lose his friend was too immense for the young man to allow himself such boldness. And to block his newborn feelings, Yazoo summoned all his strenght to be friendly rather than passionate, to not linger on the smile or the look of Vincent's body or make any act that could make him suspicious in Vincent's eyes. Yazoo wanted to turn their friendship into the level of the beginning days: cool and polite. But in his heart he knew it was impossible. It would be fake, their bond was stronger than that, nowadays. And he was so in love with the man. Thus, the idea of moving out had matured inside Yazoo's mind.

Sometimes, Yazoo wondered if Vincent had been so hurt in the past that he definitely blocked any kind of chance to allow someone in his life in this way, the same way Yazoo was doing himself. Yazoo had heard about Lucrecia Crescent, through Tifa, but more as a mournful lament for Vincent's luck than as a gossip. The same had occurred with Sephiroth. Both subjects were taboo and apparently it had brought great suffering to his friend. And he was the living personification of Sephiroth's memory for Vincent… Perhaps that was one of the motives of why Vincent had given him that warning at Reeve's store.

_"This is the right thing to do. I should let Vincent enjoy his single life. And I can't stay here anymore. Sweet Shiva…I think I love this man. No, I do love this man and I will hurt myself if I don't leave this place and try to forget this feeling. And he was so cold and reserved. He didn't ask me to stay like last time."_

And with these thoughts and a heart aching for a man, he supposed wanted nothing from him, besides friendship, Yazoo slept.

The next morning, Vincent was feeling terrible ashamed because of his cold behavior from last night. Yazoo was probably wondering that his silence was a lack of support from Vincent's part. It was bad. Vincent got up from his bed, went to the bathroom, washed his face and returned to knock on Yazoo's door again, this time with a decent apologize. He did it twice. He waited some seconds and did it again. As no sound was perceived, Vincent spoke in a higher voice that he was coming in and very slowly he opened the door. Yazoo was not there. He had gone for who knows where since Reeve had the store closed. _" He should be looking for apartments. Sure he won't stay here…I can't turn Yazoo away exactly when I know he's needing a friend. It's not fair and it will blur our friendship. The best thing I can do is help him now and at least keep him as a friend.." _

And it was what Vincent Valentine had done from the next followed days. He helped Yazoo to find a place. Finally they had found one, out of Gongaga, near the road and near Forest Frog. It was a small house, in a familiar neighborhood and affordable for Yazoo.

While they were visiting the house, Vincent couldn't stop to picture Yazoo living there at any place of the house which his eyes wandered. The house was shabby furnished but soon Yazoo will turn it in a cozy place. He could see Yazoo in his purple pajamas, wearing those green dragon slippers, sipping on his tea. The raven haired man sighed and glanced at his young friend. Vincent sadly had assumed that Yazoo was excited, judging by the large eyes of the boy scrutinizing the house. When the owner, a an old man with a large belly came along to clarify about the rent contract, Vincent left the house to give privacy for Yazoo to deal with his business. _" Yazoo wants it done right now."_

After a while when Yazoo left the house almost running and mounted his bike, Vincent had understood it as a well closed business and a satisfied friend.

When at night he came with a pile of boxes to pack Yazoo's clothes and personal objects, Vincent assumed that the red cheeks and stunned eyes of his friend was of relief and gratitude. He had wrong assumed, again.


	22. It was Christmas

Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII and I don't make money with this writing.

A/N:Thanks for BMIK for the wonderful beta for everyone who reviewed. You guys kept me going on!

Chapter 22 - It was Christmas.

Yazoo´s usually very clean and tidy room was a mess. Paper boxes, some scattered clothes hanging out of the drawer and wardrobe, were making the silver haired young man anxious. He already had closed the apartment and whenever he thought about how soon it would be, he felt sad. Vincent didn't ask him to stay, to change his mind. The reality was: Yazoo would move out, work, deal with his issues by himself and with some luck, still be able to keep in contact with Vincent.

Kadaj and Loz were excited with his new step of independence. Or rather: Loz was, Kadaj went from previously pissed off because Yazoo was not coming back to Midgar to cheerful. In Kadaj's mind, perhaps with luck, after some time of living alone Yazoo would finally give up and come back home. Which was, in Kadaj's opinion, Midgar. So, as Yazoo had accepted the rules of his fate he had began the task of packing and discarding what he didn't want to keep in his new house. It only was a few clothes, old remains from his life in Midgar. In front of his wardrobe mirror, the young man squeezed himself into his old leather pants, his gloves and then his black leather coat. He chuckled at how tight his ancient warrior's outfit was on his body.

" Gosh…I became fat!"

He hadn't imagined that his leather coat was so dusty and moldy, causing him to cough. And he angrily thought that he was out of shape for battle, not that he was planning to get into one. Lost in his thoughts, Yazoo didn't notice that he was pulling at the zipper stronger than was necessary. It was when the zipper -stuck on his neck- broke, squeezing his throat like a vise. He tried, without success, to open the leather.

"Oh no, no, no damn it! Oh shit, shit! Fuck!"

The muffled sounds of Yazoo's curses were heard by Vincent in the living room and with some surprise. The raven haired man slowly stood up from his chair, leaving his interesting book behind to see what was going on with Yazoo. The curses were a rare attitude from his "naggingly polite" friend.

"Did you curse?" Vincent sarcastically poked his head inside Yazoo's bedroom.

"It's the zipper…It is not opening and I'm suffocating here. Help me..please?"

Vincent's sneaky smirk faded away when he realized that his friend was getting flushed, the knots of his fingers, white with the effort to release the leather coat from his neck. He reached for Yazoo and after a quick look at the metal object, he prepared his armored claw.

" Lift you hair or some wisps will be pulled. Turn your face aside." Vincent stood in front of Yazoo, so close he could feel the boy's breathe and his sweet scent. Despite his commanding voice, he was trembling for having to touch Yazoo's body.

Yazoo turned his head as he was told. He avoided to look straight at Vincent's face while the man was trying without success to unlock the stuck zipper. Vincent didn't want to spoil the leather coat with one of his claws, so he doubled his pull only on the metal piece. Yazoo was almost suffocating with the leather neckband so tight around his throat. And Vincent's body so close to him was not making it easier to breathe.

The red eyed man finally managed to unfasten a bit of the metal garter. The young man gave a relieved sigh, though the zipper still remained locked, not allowing Yazoo to fully remove the coat.

"Better?" Vincent asked, still with his claw on Yazoo's neck.

"Very much. I and my ideas, I'm clearly too fat for this old outfit."

"Are you planning on wearing it?" Vincent mocked. Yazoo and smirked.

"Not at all. I-I was just…testing if it still fits me. Sorry to have disturbed your reading," Yazoo said with a blushed face, feeling childish and embarrassed because of the situation.

"You're neither fat nor have you been disturbing me. The leather constricts without use. So do the metal garters." Vincent glanced at the room, the clear evidence that his friend, his platonic love would be moving out soon, distracted him from his task.

"Will you try to push it harder? I can't take off the coat yet." Yazoo's voice was low and deep and he kept his eyes lowered to some point at the ground.

Vincent nodded at the boy and shifted his position, slightly pushing Yazoo towards the dresser. A large wisp of hair fell over Yazoo's shoulder and on top of Vincent's hand. Vincent lifted the strand of hair and he couldn't help the desire to curl his fingers in silky hair. With the tip of his fingers he felt Yazoo's neck, smooth as he always thought it would be. Vincent was trying hard to focus on his task, but his mind was wandering in the image of Yazoo without that leather coat. Without nothing, except for bare, smooth and velvety skin. He had to blink a few times, to concentrate at what he was doing.

"Hold on, I'll give a strong pull."

Yazoo tilted his face slightly, leaning in without actually touching Vincent's cheek. He closed his eyes for a very brief moment, just to pretend that it was something more than a simple help from a fumbling friend. With the yanks from Vincent, Yazoo had put one of his hands on Vincent's shoulder to support himself and not fall. Their legs were half bent to help the weight and from time to time, they rubbed at each other because of Vincent's efforts to free the zipper. There was no space between their bodies, small drops of sweat began to appear on Vincent's forehead and Yazoo's cheeks were red with shyness and the need to kiss those lips so near to his own. _" Why do I like to torture myself ? I'm so close and can't do nothing …Oh god…"_

In one flashing moment their eyes crossed and they stared at each other. Vincent's eyes were shining in a light red colour, he was afraid if Yazoo was hearing the heartbeats of his heart; so faster it was. Vincent became concerned with the insane whisper of Chaos inside his mind. He was feeling the tingles on his arm. He was feeling a huge need to not let this moment pass in vain. _" Vincent, control yourself. Chaos get out of my mind. God...I won't last here with him in my arms… I should ask him to stay, I should keep him from leaving…from leaving me. God…his smell is so sweet, I will miss him so much."_

On the other hand, Yazoo was wondering what Vincent would think if he kissed him. Another yank, the zipper was unlocked and Yazoo stumbled forward to Vincent. However the raven hair man kept his friend from falling fall down on the floor. Vincent determinedly gripped Yazoo's waist with both hands. Or rather: hand and claw. Close. They were impossibly close now, their chests pressed against each other, Yazoo's gorgeous face, his scent, his warmth just an inch away from Vincent. Even knowing that his friend was not a talkative person, this silence in the room, only broken by their breathing, it was positive, thought Vincent. " _If he wants, he could push me away any time…or he is expecting that I will let him go…Let him go Vincent, release him…"_

Vincent's attempts to let go of Yazoo's body were totally forgotten when he stared into those green eyes and those fleshy lips. Yazoo felt that strong arms were encircling his waist to support him, but without releasing him, when he gained his balance again. Instead of withdrawing, Vincent carefully leaned closer to Yazoo's face. The young man felt a jolt of bliss when Vincent's warm cheeks and the tip of his nose tenderly rubbed at Yazoo's face. Vincent softly brushed his lips over the skin and then his nose, sniffing at the smell.

Yazoo lightly trembled with emotion, carefully offered more of his neck, leaning his face onto Vincent's cheek.

A soft moan escaped through his lips when Vincent, shyly, buried his nose on that small patch of skin, near the earlobe; such a sensitive spot for Yazoo, and again he pressed his mouth over the skin in a chaste, closed lip kiss. _" Sweet Shiva, I know I will regret this but he can push me away and I won't be mad at him if he does it…Sweet Shiva don't make Yazoo push me away…"_

Vincent slid his hands over Yazoo's back, sensing the muscles behind the leather, squeezing the young's hips and pressing him against his crotch. He was afraid of what he was doing but he was unable to stop now. His breath was short and when Yazoo pressed his hips further, not putting up any protest by how Vincent was holding him close to his body, the raven haired man moaned. Coyly, Yazoo pulled his hand on Vincent's neck, caressing, gripping some locks of the raven hair, intertwining his fingers inside. With his other hand, he stroked Vincent's face, feeling the contours of Vincent's eyes, cheekbones and lips with the tips of his fingers.

With pleading eyes they stared at each other. It was no more a platonic crush. What they had tried so hard to hold back, with fear to be hurt, to be rejected, or whatever reasons they might had: it was not a secret anymore. They were burning for each other. Their bodies tightened at the contact, the warmth, the discovery. They were feeling the breath of each other, tickling their skin to the point of shivers. They needed to kiss each other, to feel the other's body and unleash what they had been restraining for so long. Yazoo was feeling as if he was daydreaming, he wanted to ask Vincent if it was what the man really wanted to do, but he was so happy to have Vincent here. Here, holding him, desiring him with such passion, that not even in his fantasies had he thought it would be like this. Those red eyes were shining in golden sparks, those thin lips moaned his name.

" Yazoo…" Vincent was mesmerized to finally have Yazoo in his arms, his lips were parting to devour Yazoo's mouth, hands pressing the silver haired young man close to his body. The man didn't want to close his eyes, he wanted to be sure that it was actually happening. Yazoo closed those green eyes and excitedly waited for the kiss from the man of his dreams.

And at the exactly second they would have the kiss of their lives, for so long craved, Kadaj, Cloud and Tifa's voices were heard from outside of the house. They were laughing, yelling with the kids. Cloud knocked at the door and called both men's names. The magic went away. Vincent took a step back so fast that Yazoo lost his balance, and to not fall down, he leaned onto the dresser. He was panting hard and didn´t dare to look at Vincent's face. He was feeling his heart on his throat.

" Please forgive me. I'm so sorry Yazoo." Vincent turned his back on him and whispered the words for Yazoo with a lowered head. Faster than a bullet, he ran away to open the door, leaving a very confused Yazoo.

After a minute of deep breathing to soothe himself, Yazoo looked at his face in the mirror and saw his reflection. He was sweating, the leather coat was opened till his belly button , his chest was flushed and the bulge at his crotch had withered. His face was a red mask of shame and regret. He covered his mouth to suppress a sob. _" What have I done? My God…what the fuck did I think I would have?"_

Vincent left Yazoo's room and stood in front of the door, Cloud's voice still shouted his name but his mind was blurred. He was fighting to control Chaos' rage. His rage of being so unlucky to have a crowd disturbing his moment with Yazoo and at the same time, his naivety on thinking that he could have Yazoo. _" Yazoo will never forgive me for this."_

"Hey…Why your are so…so red? Your eyes …and hey look at your forearm! Are you ok?"

Cloud noticed the intense, red flaming eyes and some pale blue strings which were appearing and vanishing as if it was pulsing, on his friend's arm. Kadaj just nodded and purred a 'hello Mr Valentine' and vanished inside the house, seeking his brother. Loz came soon after, his bike still revving up while Tifa entered with a big basket of food and some Christmas ornaments. Denzel and Marlene were running in the front garden, arguing about something.

" I-I will help you Tifa." Vincent didn't answer and took the basket from Tifa's hands. He walked straight into the kitchen and placed the basket on the count while glancing at Yazoo's room. The door was closed. Vincent was concerned about the youth's feelings and the longer it took Yazoo to leave his room, the more his worries grew. _" And what if he gets out and tells everyone that I tried to abuse him?"_

Cloud scratched his head and threw a concerned look at Tifa, who was paying him back with a frown on her lips, her usual way to lecture Cloud without words._"Vincent did something to pull out Chaos"._

Cloud knew the first steps of the demon's apparition very well. The red flamed eyes, blue pale strings…Vincent was so pissed off with something that he had awakened Chaos? Did he fight? With Yazoo? Did he hurt his brother? Cloud became impatient and entered the house, shouting for Yazoo with enough excitement to call Tifa and Kadaj's attention.

"He was at his room Cloud. He will be here soon." Kadaj answered with a bored tone.

Only when Cloud heard Yazoo's voice, after he had knocked at his bedroom door and asked twice if the young was ok, the blond calmed down.

Some minutes later, when Yazoo came to the living room and started to chat with Tifa about the Christmas night, avoiding eye contact with Vincent, Cloud thought that perhaps they were having a ruffle about the dinner or something. Vincent was not exactly a party person, and Christmas never was a date that he enjoyed. He had told Cloud, many years ago, that the last time he saw Lucrecia was on Chistmas. After that she had gone away, and he was captured by Hojo.

They were scheduled to buy food and drinks for christmas eve in town. Yazoo had planned to make a special night in Forest Frog and Vincent had willingly agreed, seeing it more as a farewell dinner for Yazoo. But now Yazoo didn't know what to think or say. He was feeling so embarrassed that his true wish was to vanish from the place. After some minutes of settling on what they should buy, only Vincent and Kadaj would not go to the town. Vincent alleged he had tasks to do and Kadaj that he had no patience for shopping food. When Yazoo lowered his eyes to ask if Vincent wanted something special, and Vincent whispered a short "no" and vanished into his room almost like a frightened rabbit, Cloud was sure that they had a rowing. With a lost look at his face, Yazoo turned around and followed Tifa to the car.

He remained silent all the way out. He was thinking that Vincent would not be his friend anymore. Not after what had happened at his room. _" God…I offered myself…I scared him."_

Yazzo felt sorry to have pulled that coat out, to have accepted Vince's help, to almost have kissed him…Almost and by the dry behavior of Vincent, he thought that it never would happen again. He was awfully sad and very worried to lose Vincent's respect and affection. It really didn't matter if Vincent wanted him or not, if only they still would be friends. Yazoo just couldn't stand the idea of not have Vincent on his life.

" _I spoiled everything…I'll have to move as soon is possible, perhaps tomorrow…Surely he won't want me near after that…maybe…not even as a friend.."_


	23. What Really Matters

Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII nor make money with this writing.

A/N: Thanks BMIK for the beta, you rock my world!

Chapter 23 - What Really Matters.

Vincent was too exalted to think about anything else than his last minutes with Yazoo. His senses were still swirling around the closeness, the warmth, the full presence and the sudden and unwelcome absence of Yazoo. He cursed the broken moment with an anger capable to wake up Chaos. The demon knew. He knew. The best energy to serve as boost for the inner demon was passion. And it had been a long time since Vincent had feed it in this way.

For so long he had drained away the hope to feel desire again, to be touched and to touch, to feel the fiery wave of being loved by who he loved.

He had been alone for so many years that memories of sexual intercourse, were fuzzy shadows in his mind. His skin was so unaccustomed to receive a caress, a touch that was not to call his attention, that Vincent was still feeling his face burn.

It was as if the soft brush of fingers from Yazoo, so loving and at the same time arousing had opened a portal internally. He wanted more, he needed more.

He had noticed day by day, that Yazoo's sweetness entangled him with a warm feeling of acceptance, care, tenderness and this was more than friendship. This was more than desire. He felt himself loved when Yazoo stared at him, he felt loved when the young man touched him, closed his eyes and waited for a kiss.

He would not dare to tell Yazoo that he was in love with him. What if Yazoo despised him?

Perhaps the youth had done it just because he was moving, maybe to never see Vincent again, or because he was feeling pity for Vincent's loneliness.

But the silver haired young man never looked at him as if he seemed disgusted with Vincent´s deformed arm. Vincent had never shown his deformed arm to anyone. Not even Cloud had seen it. However Yazoo, who didn't know the existence of Chaos had seen it once. The boy, so polite and sweet never judged Vincent or had made him felt uncomfortable to the point of explaining what had happened to him. " We all have past scars. It's ok Vince." It was all the young man had said at the moment. It soothed Vincent.

And the last bond of intimacy between them, was attached when Yazoo had given him a silicon glove, perfectly featured as a human hand.

"Don't be shy Vince! Let's try it, I need to see if it fits you to have it made!"

"What makes you think that I'll wear it?"

"It would heal some wounds and it is much more comfortable than metal. Please just try it ok? I will leave it here on the table. Please, let me know when you are finished."

The memories of their short living together were so strong for Vincent.

Those cateyes blew his mind away. Those parted rosy lips, made to kiss and nip at, that so beautiful face looking at him with flushed cheeks. Yazoo's laughter, so rare and exactly because of this, so adored.

He was walking around the house like a caged feline, searching for something to distract himself. _"I will chop wood for the fire."_

He crossed the living room toward the door and glanced at Kadaj.

With his enhanced hearing he had been able to hear all of the conversation between the two brothers at the porch, during the house's fixing, but he didn't mention it to Yazoo. The silver haired youth had felt humiliated enough in the past and Vincent didn't want at all to bring more trouble related to Yazoo's sassy baby brother.

Thus, Vincent just harshly cut Kadaj's attempts to flirt with him, and avoided to tell Yazoo about it. And the boy was really bold, at the few occasions they met, Kadaj seemed to enjoy embarrassing the raven haired man. Whenever Yazoo was not present, because he was no fool, Kadaj offered himself with an almost hilarious tactic of seduction.  
So when the boy said he was not going to the town, Vincent already sensed a headache ahead. Not to give Kadaj any chance to start with his stupid little game, the man left home to cut wood for the fireplace. It would be a cold night and by the way, long till he could have some time alone with Yazoo.

Kadaj wouldn't miss the opportunity to spend some time alone with the " hunky Mr Valentine". After his conversation with Yazoo, he didn't try to seduce the man again, but his vain ego was not so easily bent. He had so much fun with the shocked face of the man when he said things like: "I love metal, I'm wondering how it would be to have your cold armor against my warm and smooth skin…" The man's eyes widened from his globes and his cheeks were stained as red as his cape. However Vincent remained stoic. And Kadaj delighted…

In Kadaj's mind, it was just one more of his little games of seduction. He was fond of variety and Reno had left him free of the chains of fidelity, so even Kadaj had had some random lovers, though he always turned back into Reno's arms. And his bed. Deep down Kadaj knew that he would never take the same place in Reno's heart, that had belonged to Yazoo. Kadaj was not meek, sweet, dependent as his brother was. Most part of the time, he was pretty happy with himself, but sometimes, he missed his brother's kindness. Maybe that was why Reno had felt so much when Yazoo left him. Perhaps that was why Vincent, even being a stern and cold man not only had allowed his brother to live at his house , but also had helped him to move on. Yazoo's sweetness was something that Kadaj needed, loved and envied at the same time. Once, his school's therapist said that he had had a very stressed time while dealing with Mother's desires. He was a leader for her purposes and nowadays he was a regular teenager, the younger brother from Yazoo and Loz. Though, he had never paid much attention to find out why he had such a compulsive drive to rival with Yazoo.

He decided to stay at home with the man but as Vincent looked like he was lost in a parallel universe, he remained quiet. Some minutes later, Kadaj was seated at the couch, reading one of Yazoo's art magazines, sighing in boredom. He was listening to the sound of Vincent's ax, cutting the wood and thus, he decided to give the man a helping hand.

Kadaj followed the sound and found Vincent in the backyard, wearing only a black t-shirt despite the cold weather, sweating from the effort, his muscles moving underneath the thin fabric. Kadaj strolled around the man, careful to not be hit by the wood chips which were flying from the ax. The boy's eyes traveled from the man's torso to his back, from the round buttocks to his long legs. Vincent was the vision of lust, thought Kadaj, already licking his lips. _" Wow…if my brother isn't fucking this man, he's really stupid…"_

Vincent noticed the boy's presence but paid no attention to it. _" It took him surprisingly long…Oh Shiva…give me patience."_

Kadaj leaned on the porch, near the man, but still keeping a safe distance. His eyes were glued to Vincent's body and he didn't try to hide that. Instead, he sighed.

" Can I help you Mr Valentine?" Kadaj purred but straightened himself when the man glared at him with a face of few friends.

" You can pile the logs in the stroller if you want."

Kadaj did as the man told him and when Vincent finished his task, they went back to the house. Vincent pushed the stroller and parked it in front of the fireplace. He began to pile the wood while Kadaj helped him.

" It's always a pleasure to help you." Kadaj said with a sarcastic smile, replying even when Vincent had not said a word. The raven haired man sighed in annoyance and stood up, carrying the stroller back to the backyard and leaving the boy alone in the living room. He returned with a piece of cloth to clean the trail of snow and mud that the wheelbarrow had printed on the floor.

"Could you please tidy up those magazines. Your brother doesn't like it when it is messy in the living room. "

Kadaj narrowed his eyes and with a mumbled " yes sir', picked up the magazines.

" Can I ask you a question? Why your are so cold with me? I'm always so nice to you..."

" I don't like people staring at me, especially children."

"You should not be so shy about it. I have told you before, you are sexy Mr Valentine and I like to look at sexy things."

"It is simply ridiculous, this behavior of yours towards me, and disrespectful towards your brother who is my friend. And I know he has already told you to not go down at me like this."

Vincent stopped to clean the ground and not even looking at Kadaj, he threw the cloth in the trash basket and left the living room, walking towards the kitchen.

With the man's indifference, Kadaj stood up to throw a childish tantrum. He wondered if Yazoo had told everyone about their 'affair' with Reno in Midgar. Yet, all the affection and care he received from his brothers, Cloud, Tifa and Reno, Kadaj still refused to believe that the world didn´t revolve around him. He couldn't understand why Vincent Valentine was immune to his charms. He was the chosen one! He was the chosen one with Mother; how he missed those distant days, he was with Reno, and he didn't accepted that an ordinary, half deformed man was rejecting him.

" How dare you rejecting me you…you…freak?! Reno told me everything about you, and your demons! You are a freak! You should be honored to have someone like me wanting to fuck with you!" Kadaj shouted at the top of his lungs, face red with rage as he followed behind the man. Vincent sighed and fought against the urge to throw the boy out of the house. Instead, he decided to smash the boy's ego with the truth. He didn't care anymore if Kadaj would tell Yazoo or not. Then he would leave the house and later, with luck, he would try to explain his motives to Yazoo.

" Kadaj, I know you can't understand this because you never loved is not about the lewd feelings that you know. I hope that one day you find a soul who can show this to you, but with your behavior it would be very difficult. I'm sorry for you. Because only your brother matters to me. I love him. Not you, not whatever you might think you can do."

" Fuck you Vincent. I will tell Yazoo that you are a gross pervert. I'm sure he will leave your house and your friendship! And even if I have to lie about you abusing me, be sure that I will! You will pay me back bastard!" Kadaj quickly replied; his pride was wounded, his pupils were only two thin slits and his voice was louder than he expected.

Vincent's reply was stuck in his throat but he froze in front of Kadaj.

Behind Kadaj, standing near the door laden, Yazoo was holding the shopping bags, face devoid of any emotion. Outside, the voices of Cloud, Loz and Tifa with more bags and the amused laughs of Marlene and Denzel could be heard. Vincent closed his eyes and when he opened them again, Yazoo had vanished to the kitchen and only Kadaj remained staring at him, with a pale face. He was no longer with that devilish smirk on his lips and those big jade eyes showed regret and were afraid. None of them wanted to know if Yazoo had heard the last words Kadaj or Vincent had spoken.


	24. Vincent and Yazoo

Dislaimer: I don't own FFVII and I don't make money with this writing.

A/N¹ : Chao's voice in bold letters. Graphic sex !!!- so…this chapter is M!!!!

A/N² : Vincent and Yazoo will follow their path together by themselves now... Thanks for my beloved BMIK who patiently betaed and not only this, inspired me and taught me to turn my daydreaming into words- without you nothing of this would be possible, millions of thank you-love you dear! And sure, thanks for everyone who read and reviewed- your support was wonderful and important in ways that you no imagine guys! Every time that a review was sent, I felt myself inflated in a cuddle wave of warm and motivation. Thanks a lot!

Vincent and Yazoo - Chapter 24

The dinner was not exactly cheerful, though Loz and the kids had a good time with playing in the snow and inside the house. Discreet as Yazoo usually was their guests did not find his cool demeanour with Vincent had barely spoken during dinner. But during some moments, when nobody was watching, Vincent's crimson eyes glanced at Yazoo with a sad expression.

Kadaj was much more silent than usually. The silver haired boy had avoided eye contact with his brother whenever it was possible. Vincent could bet Yazoo had heard every word the boy had said. And the brat -as well as Vincent- was really afraid about the possibility judging from the way Yazoo was watching every move of his brother. However, if Yazoo had heard what his baby brother or Vincent had said, he did not show it. At least not in front of their guests.

It was around nine when they had finished the dinner and their guests left the house. Cloud had made a special book in the Gongaga Inn. Tifa, the kids and Loz were eager to get at the hotel and enjoy all the fun the place had for Christmas Eve. Kadaj, who had grumbled all week because he was obliged to join the family, was the first of them to enter the car and impatiently waited to get out of there. The silver haired boy flinched when Yazoo hugged him to say goodbye, not at all out of his usual behavior towards his brothers.

Vincent watched the scene pooled on his favorite spot: on the top of a branch. He had given his good night wishes to his friends long before they had left, and went out to get some air and some peace of mind. The suffocating sensation that he was feeling inside the house was maddening him and somehow it reminded him of his past days locked in a coffin at Shinra Mansion. He watched his silver haired friend wave goodbye at the guests till the car vanished on the road. Then, Yazoo looked at the sky, sighed and went into the house, closing the door. The scene, though back then the circumstances had been different, reminded Vincent of the morning he had seen Yazoo crying in the forest. Although now, if the young man was feeling thoughtful or sad, it was because of him. _" And I had sworn to myself that I would never hurt him…"_

Some minutes later, the lights went off and only the dim lamp of Yazoo's room was on. He remained out there for some minutes. He had watched Yazoo, in silence so many nights, sitting on this same branch. Some nights the youth just lay down and was fast asleep within mere seconds, at others he read one of Reeve's art books and at others he just stared at the ceiling with those brilliant green eyes lost in some spot. And every single night, Vincent would have given his soul to be there, by Yazoo's side.

The night was very cold, but the snow had stopped and a pale moon was appearing at the dark sky. Vincent shook his head, gave a faint chuckle and felt pretty stupid to be crouched on a branch in the middle of the night. He flew back to the ground and entered the house. Silently and empty. _" Soon, this is how it will be every day, every single night…"_

Vincent stood in the middle of the living room and glanced at Yazoo's door. Once more he was unable to deal with feelings, he was a man, a honest man or a honest demon, whatever, but Yazoo deserved an explanation. He cursed himself for being able to fight against a Bahamut but not to knock at Yazoo's door. Silently, he unbuckled his cape, took off the silicon glove Yazoo had given to him, and his boots and sat on the couch, close to the fire to warm up his body. He was freezing but not only because it had been chilly outside; he was feeling his heart freeze from the inside. _" I'm pining…"_

Vincent closed his eyes and lowered his head on his bent knees, bracing himself like a child seeking to block out the world around him. He was tired. Emotionally and physically. Lost in his thoughts he didn't notice when Yazoo silently approached him.

" Vince, can we speak for a little bit?" The silver haired youth asked in his usual tone and sat on the same couch as Vincent, but on the opposite edge. Yazoo would -reasonable as always- have let the subject of their almost kiss slide in favor of their friendship.

But that was before he had listened to Vincent and Kadaj speak. It was during the seconds in which he had walked from the door to the kitchen, the minutes while he had gone to his room to clear his mind and think about that " only your brother matters to me." Yazoo sent a silently prayed a thank you to the universe for the wonderful christmas gift he had received and felt confident now, even bold enough to put down his shyness and make the first step with Vincent. However the man had neither moved a finger when Yazoo had sat on the couch, nor looked at him. His blank expression left Yazoo doubtful if he had heard correctly that he was loved by Vincent. _" Deeply, breathe deeply, Yazoo, keep your cool and just breathe."_

" Yes, we should indeed." Vincent didn't tilt his head to look at his friend. He was feeling himself peeled off his own defenses. He was so tired of fighting against his feelings and needs. He was so damn tired of a life hidden behind his fears and bitter concepts of himself. Vincent just nodded. It would be so simple if he just said what he was thinking…but instead, he would rather wait for what would come from Yazoo.

" Did you regret what happened this morning?"

"No." Vincent was startled by the straight to the point question but he didn't hesitate. He quickly glanced at Yazoo and Vincent noticed a slight change in the young man´s eyes; they were dilated like a cat´s would be.

" I heard what you said to Kadaj. What you said, was it only to keep my brother away or did you really mean it?" Although feeling more confident than usually, Yazoo's heart was pounding like a wild horse in his chest; he wanted to say 'I love you too', but Vincent's clear discomfort was keeping the youth at bay. Not to mention that his old feelings of being deprecated in favor of his baby brother were bothering him. _" Oh God, please make him say that he loves me!" _

" B-both…" Vincent lowered his eyes, he was feeling the tingles of Chaos lurching in his stomach. He would never lie to Yazoo, though what the youth might do with his affirmation was worrying him to no end. He remembered Kadaj's words: a freak, a failure.

Yazoo closed his eyes and gave a low sigh, relieved that Vincent, at least, was not regretting the almost kiss. He closed the distance between Vincent and with delicacy he took one of the man's hand.

" Will you still be my friend?"

" Yazoo…I always will be your friend... as long as you want me to."

Vincent squeezed the soft and white hand, who was holding his human one and for the first time he raised his eyes to look at Yazoo, since he had begun to speak. The youth was so gorgeous in the faint light of the room, only provided by the fire and the moon shadow. The silky hair had gilded shades from the fire reflex, the locks contrasted with the black of his leather shirt. He wanted to dive into those green cat eyes. Those lips, so fleshy, seemed so smooth. And so dangerously close to him… Vincent lowered his eyes again, fought to control himself. He wanted to kiss Yazoo, to tightly hug the silver haired youth, to say how much he loved him. Against his will, as if he was a puppet, he noticed that Chaos' hand was raised into the air, caressing Yazoo's cheek with a tenderness that he never had guessed possible for what he carried inside his being. **" I want him…I need him…No hurt. Trust me…never will hurt him." **

The silver haired young man savored the caress with closed eyes.

" I want you by my side Vincent, forever if you feel like it…I-I love you." With the lovingly touch on his face, Yazoo felt safe to openly say what his heart was shouting at him. He could not draw back now. If the meaning of what he had heard from Vincent was just friendship, he would say so and Yazoo would accept it, even though with deep sorrow.

Though, he could never have expected what followed soon after his sentence.

Vincent covered Yazoo with his slender body, leaning the young man against the armrest. He was afraid, but for the first time in years, Vincent didn't think and let his instincts, his feelings guide him. As if he was a piece of iron attracted to a pure magnet Vincent kissed Yazoo. He devoured those lips, entered with his tongue to suck and lick that hot, wet mouth, nipping the flesh with hunger, not asking for permission, only conquering them, feeling them. He tasted the savour of Yazoo's mouth, his scent, his warmth. Vincent's mind was flying in a kind of trance, out of his control but freed and aware of everything that was Yazoo kissing him back with passion, in his arms. _" In my arms…Yazoo is in my arms…"_

Yazoo entwined his fingers and nails in Vincent's hair. He let the long, dark locks flow between his fingers, he gripped some of them to be sure it was Vincent who was here and it was not just another fantasy. With jolts of relief, bliss and pleasure, he felt Vincent slid his hands over his sides, squeezing his hips almost painfully. But it was wonderful. Vincent's thin lips and tongue were incredibly smooth, the flavour of his mouth perfect. His scent, the scent Yazoo always had loved to smell was now involving his mouth, his body, his soul. Low moans escaped both men. Not even in his fantasies had Yazoo imagined such an ardour from his love. Yes, Vincent was not and never would be his lover, he was his love. His status inside Yazoo's heart would never change. _" We are kissing, he wants me…He loves me."_

The necessity to breathe made them break the kiss. Vincent cupped Yazoo's face in his hands and they stared at each other, panting while their lungs were filled with air, and Yazoo pulled his hand above Vincent's hands, holding the touch, feeling the warmth of his presence. Vincent shifted his arms and possessively hugged the silver haired youth fearing to lose him, as if he was some kind of misty vision. Yazoo leaned his head on the man's chest, savouring that so craved moment with both arms wrapped around his neck. He was afraid too, to have the moment broken and his love drifting away from him. Vincent sighed and moved a bit away to stare at Yazoo's face. He glanced at his deformed arm, still caressing Yazoo's head with soft strokes.

" I love you Vincent." Yazoo whispered the words while he fought to not cry.

" Please don't be mad at me and don't be afraid. I will never hurt you. Never. I'm sorry if I didn't say anything before, but I was waiting for the right moment and I guess it is now. I- I don't know how to deal with words to express myself…I'm a freaking old man, who spent years in a coma, sleeping in a coffin and carrying a demon inside because of Shinra's mad experiments. Its name is Chaos. That's why I had this claw, this blue-ish skin on my left arm, and…ugly scars all over my body... It was what touched you at Reeve's store b-but…I can control it and it said that it will never hurt you. But anyway, I will never let it hurt you…or anything else, in fact. When I said that only you matter to me it was true. It is true, because I-I love you Yazoo. I guess I found that I was in love with you since you had came back from Midgar. Or no, perhaps it was when I found you here…I don't know, but I love you… You are probably terrified of me and if you want to leave me now, I would not judge you. Again don't worry, I will never hurt you or force you to stay with me…I will love you all the same and care for you without asking for anything in return. You are young, clever, gorgeous…and you deserve a better man, great adventures and …I wish you so much happiness. I want so much that you never have to cry again…Your brother called me a freak and he is right. I'm one. "

Yazoo only blinked at the cascade of words comming from Vincent's mouth. The raven haired man was deeply breathing after the long speech and though he had told the youth to feel free to leave him, he tightened the hold on Yazoo's body, his voice sad, resigned to accept if Yazoo would want to run away from him. He knew he was being dramatic, though, hurt people tended to do that and Vincent's scars were so many.

" I'm yours Vincent…I'm all yours…My angel, my love. There's nothing about you that I don't cherish and praise Vincent. Nothing of your heart, nothing of your body…Please don't push me away Vincent Valentine. I guess we had a long road till here and I can not wait anymore. Please let me love you. Please do not hold back the love you are saying that you feel for me. I love you. I need you. I want you. I can't imagine my life without you. I want all this happiness but with you by my side. You are my great adventure, the best man, my happiness…" Yazoo said with a hoarse voice, fighting against tears that he could not control, which watered his eyes and rolled down from his cheeks. It was true. He didn't care for what the past had done to Vincent nor what the raven haired man had done. He knew from the bottom of his heart,that they could be happy together.

" Are you not…running away?"

The youth shook his head.

" Please don't leave me Yazoo, please don't move out, please…stay with me?"

Yazoo covered his mouth to muffle a sob. He was so happy that he was chuckling and crying at the same time.

" Finally you said it...I thought you would never say it...That all the feelings that I wondered if you had for me, was only in my mind. Oh Vincent if you feel for me the same as I feel for you, you should know that I will never leave you. I love you. Sweet Shiva, I love you as I never have loved anyone else."

They smiled and hugged each other, feeling their bodies. They kissed passionately once more and Vincent made the first move to open the zipper of the jacket Yazoo was wearing. They chuckled together when the zipper was stuck again. Yazoo moved a little bit away and slowly took off his jacket and in the most sexiest move that Vincent had ever seen, opened the first button of his pants. He startled himself when the silver haired youth got closer and with the same pace unbuttoned his shirt, placing small kisses on his shoulders, chest and slowly moving to his left arm. Yazoo not only wanted to assure Vincent that his arm didn't disgust him, but that he was aroused by it. It really didn't matter to Yazoo, if the arm was demonic or angelic. Whatever part of Vincent's body, he craved all of him. He loved the whole of Vincent. They smiled at each other. The gesture, never done to him before, stunned Vincent.

_" Is that possible? It's possible that a man like Yazoo actually… wants me even sexually?"_

" I want you Vince, I want everything of you." Yazoo whispered the words as if he knew what Vincent was thinking, tenderly rubbing his cheek against Chaos's hand, as a cat would do. Carefully, Vincent lifted Yazoo and carried him like a bride. He lay him near the fireplace, on the new soft carpet and cushions, that Yazoo had recently put at the place. When he stared at Yazoo, at all his flawless beauty beneath him, Vincent's heart pounded. He loved the creature in front of his eyes, he was sure of this statement as he was sure of the ground under his feet and the heaven above his head. Chaos' voice pierced his mind. **_"Communion."_**

" Would you help me to love you Yazoo? Please?" Vincent's eyes were brightened with such clear intensity of red and golden, that it was possible to see the changes of colour inside them.

" Every day of my life…and we are making love already, Vincent." The silver haired youth sensed that Vincent's question was far deeper than possible doubts about their physical way to make love. He himself had been hurt too, but he wanted to live now. He wanted to be loved and love. Yazoo was sure about their feelings for each other. The day after would not be something weird and empty.

" I love you so much Yazoo. I have for so long…" Vincent smiled and coyly touched the marble column of skin so openly offered to him with his human hand.

The silver haired youth moaned and offered more of his pale neck while he caressed Vincent's face. He slowly circled the curve of Vincent's cheekbones with his fingers , his pointed jaw and those thin and soft lips. He wanted to be marked, to be owned by Vincent. He was floating in a kind of pleasure not only consuming his body, but some place, very deep inside his heart. They kissed again, this time without rush, just feeling the taste of each others mouths, the texture of their lips and tongues, while their hands traveled over flushed skin and sinewy muscles. Vincent rubbed his face against Yazoo's neck and deeply breathed in his scent. He touched the delicate and sensitive spot behind the earlobe with the tip of his lips, gently kissing and nibbling. He stopped to stare at those huge green eyes, to kiss those fleshy lips. Yazoo moaned into his mouth when Vincent embraced his hips, slightly rocking, pressing their groins together. The 'rain-forest' scent flooded the air, mixing with his own mako scent. It seemed that time had stopped around them. A world of warm sensations was filling them, surrounding both men in a tight net that had been denied to their bodies for so long. Not only physical but connected by something deeper, far from mere lust.

" Beautiful…" Vincent whispered, mesmerized by all of Yazoo's body and face. He slid his hand over Yazoo's neck, slowly running down the youth's flat and smooth chest, pressing, first with his finger tips, and then with his lips. He kissed all the contours of Yazoo's arms and armpits. He sniffed the smooth and thin silver hair that covered Yazoo's skin with deep breaths. Like a wild animal, a human but still primitive, Vincent licked a path from the collarbone to Yazoo's chest, memorizing his smell and the taste of his flesh. The raven haired man was feeling the beast dancing inside him, clapping at each move, delighting itself in a feast of energy. Overpowering was the best word to describe the growing heat that tingled all over his body. He pinched a hard rosy nipple between his fingers and lowered his head to taste it with a shy licking. Perfect. He sucked the flesh in his mouth, not so coy this time, as Yazoo squirmed and moaned at the caress.

" Better than breasts, better than any woman…better than everything that I have tasted in so many years…"

He had never realized how much he needed to touch Yazoo's body, feeling the muscles, the hard and soft differences among them, the smell, the taste. Vincent palmed the prove of Yazoo's acceptance for have him with his human hand and smiled at the youth man. The bulge was hard, constricted under the leather pants, inviting him with the swirling motions of the silver haired youth's hips. Vincent's utterly male dominance was burning. Powerful.

At every caress, Yazoo moaned, fingers buried in Vincent's hair or running over the man's spine. The cold touch of the air mixed with the warm lips and tongue from Vincent on his skin, was giving him jolts of pleasure. He was rocking his hips in synch with Vincent's squeeze on his buttocks. He felt his member swollen inside his tight pants. When Vincent leaned his body on top of Yazoo, separated his legs with his own, eyes locked with the youth´s, a flash of uncertainty crossed Yazoo's mind. He never had another lover besides Reno, since he came back from Lifestream. Since he had a life. Besides Reno and his brothers, Vincent was the only man he had had a closer contact with. Whom he had touched and was allowing to be touched like Vincent was doing now. " _And if he does not like me? Reno said once that I was a hard prize to win when it came to sex…"_

But Yazoo's fears quickly disappeared, when the man sliced the fabric with one of his claws and a hitched breath, from his waistband down to his pants. The gesture was so slow and full of a sensuality that Yazoo wanted to be ripped off of his clothes, he wanted to be naked and wide spread for Vincent. He wanted to be possessed by the raw and strong force that was Vincent and whatever demons he had, he needed this man inside him, he was giving a damn about foreplay, pain or uncertainties. And Vincent seemed to feel the same as he watched the reactions of his silver haired lover. He tore at Yazoo's pants, as well as his briefs and shivered when the youth hissed in rapture. He stared at the hard and erect member of Yazoo. He thought about a compliment to say regarding so much flawless beauty in front of his eyes, but all Vincent could do was form a loud groan of longing to feel Yazoo from inside. He could have started without any clues about how he would make love with Yazoo, but the moment those long and pale legs opened and invited him, he knew what to do. Vincent tore open his own pants, even hurting himself with his claws to get rid off what was keeping him out of reach from Yazoo's body. He had no control anymore over the messy lust which was running through him. There was just pure and adamant desire for the man he loved. The tingles, once restrained to his left arm was all over his body now, shaking him from inside.

Yazoo's eyes got wide at seeing the once blue pale strings, becoming vivid blue mixing with new red ones through the left side of Vincent's body. He was gorgeous. His slender and muscled body, his skin even marked by scars, his hard member glowing with excitement, there was nothing in him that was not beautiful for Yazoo.

The once demure Vincent had the face of a god. A blue and red one with flaming eyes who was raising his body to consume Yazoo in fierce passion. Instead of being afraid, that sheer power made him even harder and he almost crossed the edge with his erection free and jumping in the air. He was panting, bouncing his hips to rub his hardness on Vincent's groin eliciting a moan from him. No time for foreplay, they could not wait, they did not want to. The man found his entrance with considerable ease for a virgin man in gay sex and with no warnings, no proper preparations, he thrust deep inside the tight and hot flesh.

" Ungh! Oh God Vince! " Yazoo gave a loud cry and started to sob, from the pain because of the large member splitting him with wanton lust, with the fullfilling sensation and above all with love. His back was arched, his legs tightly wrapped around Vincent's waist. He was flushed, his whole body was tingling and aching with the sudden invasion.

" Please just wait my love, just stay close with me…Oh god…"

Yazoo pulled his arms around Vincent's neck, thinking only about breathing to subdue the painful discomfort till his body would adjust. Vincent didn't move a finger, only memorizing the amazing sensation of having Yazoo's heat engulfing his senses, eyes closed. Hot. His happy little world was on fire now, and Yazoo was his king.

_" I'm inside him?! Oh Shiva, I'm inside him! How…godly…complete…"_

He remained quiet just listening each others breath with his head nestled against the curve of Yazoo's neck. He whimpered with an unknown ache, dull but at the same time good, the constricting walls of Yazoo's body clamping him. When he opened his eyes he was blessed with the sight of the man he loved moaning his name, holding his body with arms and legs. It was heaven. The subtle arch of hips from Yazoo, still adjusting himself, made Vincent groan as he was pushed a little back and forth.

_" _OH..MY..This can be better_ ?!"_ It had been a long ago since Vincent had had sex. And never with a man. Yazoo's mouth parted with a whimper, but no sound came out, his legs tightened more around Vincent's hips seeking for leverage. Bit by bit the dull pain was fading away and turned into a throbbing need to feel more of Vincent, rubbing his member against the hard belly of his lover. There was no space between their bodies to reach for a touch on his neglected member. The raven haired man was staring at him with golden eyes, shining and wet and a parted mouth whispered his name and his love for him. Again, a light move from Yazoo and Vincent cavorted his body, lost in the rapture, pulling out more of himself than before and desperately wanting to feel the clamping of Yazoo's body again.

" Yazoo…Yazoo…please move like this again…Ah, yes…God!"

" Like this?" Yazoo purred and began to swirl his body, embracing Vincent.

Instinctively Vincent began to move his hips in an erratic pace with very slow motions, just feeling how the other would respond, their bodies glued to each other. Their eyes locked at each other. Chaos's hand was gingerly caressing Yazoo's forehead and hair. Actually, Vincent was feeling the hand, not as a part of his body, but as a separate entity which was taking its time to pleasure itself too for the very first time.

Then Vincent circled his hips and Yazoo gave a strangled cry.

" Yes, God yes! There Vince, do it again! Harder…"

Vincent barely heard what Yazoo said, as he was surrounded by a trance of lust, trembling with waves of pleasure. He pulled out almost all of himself and thrust back, still slowly and gently, with a hoarse groan. He was lost in ecstasy. He looked at Yazoo, underneath him and his lover was sweating, undulating his body and raising his left leg to rest on Vincent's shoulder, wanting more. He would give more to Yazoo. He would give all he had.

The slow pace changed to a faster one. More insistent, more deeply. Intense, rough. The long and sensual moans gave place to loud grunts, desperate to seek the top of that powerful energy. Vincent felt drops of sweat rolling down his spine, his hands were slipping from Yazoo's equally wet hips. He was pounding Yazoo relentlessly, the youth's shoulder was scraping on the carpet. Yazoo closed his eyes and dug his nails into Vincent's shoulder. So good, so connected. Overwhelming.

" I'm so close…"

" Together."

In a swift impulse Vincent raised Yazoo up to his lap, the claw finding its way to grip Yazzo's perfect buttocks, scratching the skin with desire. With the new position, Vincent's erection was pushed straight to Yazoo's prostate. They gazed at each other, and Vincent kissed Yazoo with opened eyes to watch the lean body shake in spasms of pleasure. Yazoo's face contorted with a ferocity unknown to Vincent. He was the most gorgeous creature now, totally devoted and consumed by his climax. Yazoo bounced his hips forcefully as if he was trying to enter Vincent's skin, bones, soul. With a long cry Yazoo released his orgasm, only rubbing his groin against Vincent's belly, his hips painfully pressed against Vincent by Chaos' hand. He needed to breathe to not pass out, to know when the orgasm was so incredible powerful in his life. Yazoo felt the mako in his blood run through his veins and pound in his chest like an explosion of energy.

He sobbed while still riding Vincent's lap until his body went numb, only supported by Vincent's insistent pulsing inside him.

When he opened his eyes, Yazoo saw the presence of Chaos, a dark blue mist emerging, merge with a weak and green shine which was covering them and returning to the body of Vincent. He could have sworn that he had seen bat wings around Vincent. In the same minute he felt his inner channel being flooded by a warm thick liquid. Vincent had come without a sound, only a hard squeeze on Yazoo's tigh and buttocks, hard enough to leave a bloody scratch. His breath was heavy, shorter, his head was bent and his eyes were wide open and flaming.

When he came down from his climax, he held Yazoo tightly in his arms, still feeling himself twitching inside the youth. They stayed together in silence, recovering their breathes for a while, eyes closed. Yazoo was stroking Vincent's damp raven hair while the man caressed his back with Chaos´ claw.

" I love you so much Yazoo…"

" I love you too Vincent…Vince. My Vince."

"Yes…I'm yours Yazoo…Oh God… it has been such a long time ago that I could not remember how it felt. God I'm sore and tired…Are you feeling ok? Did I hurt you?"

" Not really. I will be ok tomorrow."

Vincent broke the embrace in frantic desperation to look for injuries on Yazoo, even startling the youth.

" I'm fine Vincent. Next time we should take some..uhn…care. That's all. Could you hold me now? I'm cold."

Vincent smiled at Yazoo and grabbed a blanket from the couch to cover them. He embraced Yazoo and sighed in bliss to have his lover in his arms.

" You should teach me lessons so…I promise I will be a good learner."

" I'm sure you will. "

They kissed each other and the need for rest was falling over their bodies.

" And you promise me Yazoo, that this is not a dream, a materia effect or something?"

" I promise. No lizard poison this time. Though I have to thank it. If it hadn´t been for it I wouldn't know you. You are beautiful, but when you smile…you are perfect." Yazoo gave a chaste kiss to Vincent's lips while the man watched him with narrowed eyes and a smirk on his face. It was so good what he was feeling that he felt afraid.

" And the moving? You will stay here, right?"

" I will have to deal with the owner, unpack my things…"

" You better, because I won't let you go!" Vincent rolled away from Yazoo and wrapped the blanket around him like a cocoon. After the play, the chuckles and fake protests, Yazoo stared into Vincent's eyes and caressed his face.

"I'm not going anywhere that is not near you and you better carry me, because I can't walk right now!"

" It´s my pleasure." Vincent rolled aside and plunged Yazoo on his back, going to his room.

They lay down in the bed, still toying and relaxed. Vincent pulled the blanket around them and they stayed quiet, looking at each other till Yazoo's eyes closed and he fell asleep, wrapped up in Vincent's arm. He was happy and cuddled closer, his most intimate needs being so thoroughly satisfied. All the turmoil of the past seemed so distant and unreal.

" Please promise me that you will hug me every night?"

" I promise, every night of our lives. Even if I need to be away, I would make you feel hugged by me. I love you Yazoo."

" I love you my angel…"

The beast was quiet, meek and satiated. Finally he would have the best sleeping night in years. Vincent sighed and for the first time he felt that he was exactly where he wanted to be. " _Thank you Shiva."_

End


End file.
